What Men Want in Women
Do men confuse you? Men date bitches, guys don’t talk to you, and they all seem to want sex. Guys are confusing. The male specie is nonsense from a female perspective.
There’s your first barrier that stops you from figuring out what men want in women when dating and in relationships. As long as you try to figure out men through your womanly experiences and understandings, you’ll forever remain confused.
Men differ from women. Before you give me a Nobel Prize for that remarkable statement, understand that women tend to operate from their limiting beliefs in dating and relationships. They apply their reality of chemistry and connection to a man’s reality, forgetting a male’s emotional psychology is completely different to their own.
If you cook, clean, and shop for a man in hope he likes you, you’ll be ineffective at triggering attraction and other important responses men want to feel around women. You wouldn’t feel attracted to a guy who only sat around watching football drinking beer so don’t become the female equivalent.
To figure out what men want in women, put aside your preconceived notions about dating and relationships then listen. Men will also benefit from reading this article because it helps you, if you’re a guy, better understand your desires so you can build better relationships and attract quality women.
Men Want Only Sex
Too many women believe the only thing a man wants in a woman is sex. Men want so much more. Remember what I said earlier about judging from your experiences and perspective?
A man may only desire sex from you because you focus on physical qualities. When your attractiveness depends on dressing sexy for him and sexual comments, you’re seen as a friend with benefits. You invoke a caveman response from him. This satisfies some women some of the time, but you might want more.
Many men (or should I say boys?) have yet to evolve on an emotional level. They seek only physical attraction because their emotions are blocked. They don’t know how to connect at an emotional level. Imagine putting on a pair of green glasses. It doesn’t matter what colors exist, everything is seen green. A person’s lack of emotional development blinds him from that level of awareness.
As confusing as it is to women who project their own qualities onto men, physical involvement is unequal to a relationship. A man can be physically involved with a woman and want nothing more. I believe this is what forms the belief that men only want sex. The problem with this belief is it overlooks other areas of attraction men want in women. Physical attraction is simply one part of an intimate relationship.
Nearly all men ultimately want a fulfilling relationship with one woman. A guy may not want this now or in the near future, but ultimately that is what he desires. If he says otherwise, he is usually emotionally immature or yet to meet a great woman.
The Secret is Attraction
Every man wants to feel significant, important, desired, and sexy. There’s a broad array of characteristics great men want in women that lead to one experience. The secret feeling a man wants to have around you is one of attraction.
You may think of attraction as “chemistry”. It’s the energetic charge between two people that evokes an animalistic urge. When you become what men want in women, men feel attracted to you.
Attraction can be temporary, but when you understand its principles and continually refine them (by re-reading this article and purchasing books on the subject), you make attraction long-term that leads to commitment and a satisfying relationship!
You probably know a few women who seem to effortlessly pull men towards them. They easily attract men through their looks or personality. These women understand attraction, even though they probably didn’t learn it from a source like this article.
Three Types of Attraction
Men can be attracted to you in three primary areas. We crave for all three in a partner.
As I mentioned earlier, there is physical attraction. Men are turned on more than women by visuals. It’s important to dress well, get your hair beautiful, be slightly tanned, show off your figure, and exercise.
Are you not that beautiful? You can still improve it by learning from other women. You may also have an advantage over attractive women!
Beautiful women tend to identify with their looks and become insecure. Feeling insecure about your looks is a bigger turn off than looks itself. Attractive women, in general, go through life easier than less attractive women so they have yet to develop the two other areas of attraction that lead to satisfying relationships
Guys tend to want women who are attractive, but lack personality, for the short-term. You cannot have a relationship with a body part. Looks is only one piece of the attraction puzzle.
The second type of attraction is intellectual. Intellectual attraction comes from more rational, logical means controllable through words and actions. Think of the bimbo blonde who has a peanut for her brain – that’s the opposite to an intellectually attractive woman. It’s a pain to live with someone unintelligent. An attractive man wants a woman who holds a conversation with almost anyone, talks about his interests, regularly reads books, and teaches him valuable lessons.
The third type of attraction is emotional. If a guy suddenly becomes disinterested in you, a lack of emotional attraction is the problem. A real relationship fails to develop in the absence of emotional attraction. Ways to attract men emotionally involve high status behavior, teasing, playfulness, mystery, and unpredictability.
Deficiency in an area of attraction decreases a man’s interest in you. Intensify all three forms of attraction to hypnotize any man.
Since you can go elsewhere for advice to improve your physical looks, what I’ll teach you in this article on what men want in women builds your intellectual and emotional attraction to start a great relationship and keep it that way. You are discovering the secrets men wish you knew that society will not tell you.
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Update: What Christmas present did you get for yourself? You can tell me ;-) None for me this year.
Thanks for the article.
I’m in a long-term relationship, it sure sheds some light on why sometimes my partner and i are super close and other times we are on the brink of breaking up.
I will make sure the qualities of attraction between us are treated with importance.
And Richard, as a fellow aspie I would like to say sorry you were hurt *hugs* and that there are non-superficial, non-materialistic and honest people out there. And some of them are female
P.S I’ve heard that our(aspie) constant honesty is as hurtful as their(NT) occasional lies and mind games.
elsa+nat,
i would like to express my thanks to you both for your encourgement and kindness :X (yahoo emote meaning affection).
nat – if you are anyplace near asheville, nc – would you consider a ”hook-up”? because i heard it is easier for 2 aspies to click
I’ve removed some of your comments Richard. Please keep the discussion related to the article, what men what in women.
Thank you Richard! and you are welcome anytime
I hope you find the right person for you :X hugs!
josh,
ok – ill comply. ive said my piece.
a couple other things i find VERY desirable in women is besides for total, complete honesty, is intelligence(i cannot stand a bubblebrain), an open mind when it comes to other people not fitting the mold set by society and the media, and openness to dating the disabled(as well as a LTR and possible marriage – i would prefer marriage over an LTR). OH – 1 more thing – to be emotionally and sexually faithful(that goes w/o question – because i am quite capable of expressing LOVE – it just takes the right one).
i also find women who do not gossip attractive – as well as those who can zip her lip after lovemaking so they do not tell the whole world about it.
I agree…and discretion is not only attractive to potential male partners but also for people in general
Wow, I like this article even more now i have read “what women want in men”. Women are so confusing!!!I’m glad I don’t have to worry about that.
And thanks Richard.
I live in Australia BTW.
And I am so pleased that someone has actually listed aspie qualities under the topic “what men want in women”!!!
It has totally made my day and I will have to remember this in the future when I’m feeling like a freak
Oh, and if you really have your heart set on aspie traits and values, I saw a website ‘aspieaffection’ (there was a link on wrongplanet) Its for people wanting to meet other aspies for relationships/ friendships etc. I’m not sure if its any good, I just thought I’d pass on the info.
i checked aspieaffecton.com out already – it costs $$ to join (and i am on a VERY LIMITED income – i have to make every $ go as far as i can) – and the women on it(for the free ”taste”) are way too far out of my reach. i tried eharmony once and they cannot match me up, neither can match.com or yahoo personals. i guess then untill the rest of the world gets their head out of their toushe – i’m probably gonna be doomed to celibacy. who knows.
there is a reason WHY i find aspie/epilepsy desirable in a significant other, IF she has the 2 conditions as well, then we can count on each other if more help is needed than the other can handle(like if she is having one heck of a seizure and it is more than what i can handle with common sense epilepsy first aid), and we would be able to RELATE and UNDERSTAND each other because there would be no need to go into details(like there would be with an NT) since we both understand each others neuro/psychological issues. other than that – she can have her own interests that i would very willingly encourage her to pursue an active part in, and i would also be willing to participate in as well(just so i can experience something different).
another reason why i find a woman with the aspie trait very desirable is because aspies not only do NOT lie, but also because they are also very loyal&faithful(the only one she would make love to is her own partner), and the breakup/divorce rate with the aspie/autie group is less than 0% – when with NT it is at least 80-85%. you do the math sweetheart. it is all about stability also.
Don’t give up yet! you’ll find someone…:)
Josh, i have a bit of a question: why should a person (male/female) be void of insecurities? i ask this because we ALL have them in one for or another – ALL OF US., to get rid of them or to hide them seems ever so very fake.