Navigate / search

Just Be Yourself – Why It’s Bad Advice: Being Yourself is the Problem

Follow your heart, be true to yourself, everything will work out, and just be yourself. And oh, ride your unicorn over the rainbow with butterflies and fairies floating through your hair.

The most common tip you hear to be better with women and men is “just be yourself”. Jump in a forum, blog, or conversation where people discuss the secrets of making friends or attracting the opposite sex and you’ll hear the unanimous piece of advice echoed like ancient wisdom. I’ve received many emails and comments on articles like What Women Want in Men saying, “Forget everything. Just be yourself.” I manage to withhold from clicking reply and sending an angry response.

Being yourself is as useless advice as being told to “be confident”. How do you just be confident? You can’t just do it. Unless the word triggers what you need to do like “express your feelings” or “stand up straight”, being yourself is not helpful advice.

It’s time you understood this cliché and what you can do to be the best real you. Read more

5 Steps to Develop a Charming Voice that’s Sexy

Josh: The Mafia had a gun pointing through a pillow jammed to my face. I muffled out a few incomprehensible words. That’s an image to help you understand what I use to sound like in every conversation before I came across speech coach Carol Fleming.

It’s hard to socialize if your voice is unclear, jagged, and plain boring – common vocal traits of shy people. A charming voice is sexy. It makes people listen to you.

This is a guest article from Carol, a friend of mine for two years. Carol runs her speech company out of San Francisco. She is the best voice coach I know. Read and most importantly practice what she has to teach in this article to develop a charming voice… Read more

40 Ways to Make a Good First Impression

You’re already an impressive person. But in this article I’ll show the ways to make a good first impression on a guy, girl, parent – whoever. The imprint you learn to leave on people gets them to fossilize the memory.

Whether you’re the girl at the bar yelling to her friends “Oh my I have to pee SO BAD!” or the guy whose voice cracks over his first words, it’s hard to erase a first impression from someone’s brain. As said in Big Talk, where there’s a whole chapter on ways to make a good first impression, “A first impression isn’t a last impression; it’s an influential impression.”

A good impression at first sight is what I call “the lazy man’s way to make people like you”. Princeton University research shows our snap judgments remain consistent over time. If someone judges you as “attractive”, “friendly”, and “open” within 100 milliseconds, they’re likely to think you’re all that by the end of the conversation. The study found one thing changes as the conversation continues: a person’s confidence in the accuracy of their first impression.

Call it bias or unfairness. I call it human psychology. Work with it if you want to be seen as awesome. Learn how to impress people at first sight. Here are 40 ways to make a great first impression. Read more

How to Be Charming to Men and Women

Charm is the attractiveness of an object or person that interests, pleases, and satisfies. When you know how to be charming to men and women, you are charismatic and attractive, but also attentive and empathetic. Charm is good people skills.

You are already swimming in the wake of those who courted their way ahead in a career or relationship with charm. Charming people get more affection from the opposite sex, get respected by strangers, and get the raise they want at work. Charming people have an easier, more enjoyable life.

In medieval times (and still to this day) magic had charm because of its mysteries. It had unknown traits that left outsiders dumbfounded. When you charm men and women, they wonder what magic you wield to make people respect and like you.

The good news is if you have as much charm as a backyard rock, you too can transform into a captivating diamond. If you feel you can never outshine the one always topping you with a cooler line, relax then follow some of the best tips showing how to be charming to men and women. Read more

What Men Want in Women

Men confuse you. They date bitches, don’t talk to you, and all seem to want only sex. The male specie is nonsense from a female perspective.

That is your first problem stopping you from discovering what men want in women when dating and in relationships. As long as you try understand men through your female experiences and understandings, you will remain confused.

Men differ from women. Before you give me a Nobel Prize for that remarkable statement, understand that you tend to operate from your limiting beliefs in dating and relationships. You apply your reality of chemistry and connection to a man’s reality, forgetting a male’s emotional psychology is completely different to your own.

If you cook, clean, and shop for a man in hope he likes you, you’ll be ineffective at triggering attraction and other important responses men want to feel around women. You wouldn’t feel attracted to a guy who only sat around watching football drinking beer so don’t become the female equivalent.

To figure out what men want in women, put aside your preconceived notions about dating and relationships then listen. Men also benefit from reading this article because it helps you, if you’re a guy, better understand your desires so you can build better relationships with quality women. Read more

What Women Want in Men

There are physical looks, personality traits, and general characteristics most women want in a man. The problem with this historical debate is the discussions focus on what women want in one of short-term relationships, friends, physical traits, marriage, or attraction. The answers in this clear guide reveal once and for all what women want in all these areas.

For men, this means you can cultivate and maintain happy friendships and intimate relationships with women. If you are already in a relationship, this is what your woman wish you already knew. Anytime you can get a woman feeling attraction, whether it be over the phone, in a business deal, or placing an order at a restaurant, you will get more out of the situation – not necessarily at the expense of her.

If you are a woman, the mysteries revealed could mean many things. You will gain a clearer understanding of what drives you as a woman in your relationships, why past relationships have failed, and even how to select a real, authentic man that is Mr Right. Read more

Getting Over a Relationship Break Up

*note: For a full guide to completely get over your break up and reset your relationship with the person you love, I highly recommend guys get this and girls get this.

Your relationships often determine the sweetness or bitterness of your life. When your relationships are great, life feels great. When you go through a break up like you are right now, life feels like crap.

The lessons in this article will be hard to accept. If you are after tips like “go see a movie with friends” to avoid the dark, deep secrets of working through emotional pain, go read the hundreds of trash articles about this topic over the Internet. The lessons in this article are hardcore. You will learn true mental and emotional strategies to get over your break up so you are ready for whatever you want your future to be. Read more

Making Someone Fall in Love with You Over the Phone

Whether the person you talk to over the phone is a potential partner, client, or friend; whether you just met them or have known them your entire life; you can make someone fall in love with you or like you more over the phone. Like any communication skill, there are tips you can follow over the phone to speed up the relationship-building process.

Basic Rules to Make Someone Love You

The phone changes a few rules used in normal face-to-face communication, but not much else differs. The psychology of the two individuals at either end of the phone remain the same. Tips can be adapted to help you build your relationship. Read more

Review of Double Your Dating by David DeAngelo

This is my review of a popular ebook for guys in the dating world by David DeAngelo, titled Double Your Dating: What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women (Second Edition).

David DeAngelo starts by letting you know his Double Your Dating ebook is not an encyclopedia, but a reference to being successful with women. It is not intended to be a complete resource on how men can attract women. It is a mighty fine start. You get strong foundations any guy must know in order to become successful with women and dating. Read more