Making Someone Fall in Love with You Over the Phone
Whether the person you talk to over the phone is a potential partner, client, or friend; whether you just met them or have known them your entire life; you can make someone fall in love with you or like you more over the phone. Like any communication skill, there are tips you can follow over the phone to speed up the relationship-building process.
Basic Rules to Make Someone Love You
The phone changes a few rules used in normal face-to-face communication, but not much else differs. The psychology of the two individuals at either end of the phone remain the same. Tips can be adapted to help you build your relationship.
Human psychology is about fulfilling needs and wants. You go to the grocery store to buy food to fulfill your need to eat. You buy an expensive shirt because you want to look good. You talk with others to fulfill your social and identity needs. Attraction, intimacy, and friendship work on human psychological wants and needs. Because of this, you will see how these phone skills I am about to share with you can be adapted to your everyday conversations. Learning how to make someone fall in love with you is therefore neither manipulative nor deceptive as it is a matter of you fulfilling the person’s needs and wants through communication.
The phone changes a few rules used in normal face-to-face communication, but not much else differs.
If you want others to literally fall in love with you and not just like you more, you must understand attraction. The tips shared here build likability over the phone and do not substitute for attraction. The tips when applied with techniques to build attraction in women and men makes someone fall in love with you over the phone.
Learning these phone skills is a sure-fire way to build a strong relationship fast and have your new client wanting a business relationship, a friend staying connected with you, or a cute chick liking you. A stupid word of warning: do not avoid people face-to-face once you realize the power of these phone skills!
How to Grab Attention Over the Phone
The first rule you must obey is checking the person you are talking to over the phone is receptive to you. Regardless of anything wonderful you say, nothing will matter if the person does not pay attention.
If the person has a young child howling louder than a wolf, you will be ignored. The person will hear but not listen. What you say will go no further than the phone line as they are preoccupied with distraction. When we lack the time to talk, a distraction arises, or we need to do something else, the only thoughts running through our mind are similar to: “How long will it be until this damn person shuts up? I’ve got something to do!”
The first rule of receptivity over the the phone is to make it a habit of checking if the person can talk with you. Ask upfront if the person has time to talk. After the greetings, simply say, “Do you have a couple of minutes to talk?” This makes you courteous and unobtrusive on the person’s space.
When you grab attention over the phone, you ensure the person is receptive at the start of the call. The second rule will make sure the person loves to hear you during the call.
While talking on the phone, interruptions arise. Some can be undetectable, yet others can be heard over the phone. When you hear a baby howling, a door bell ring, or a loud bang, do not ignore it! Say what sound you heard then ask if the person needs to attend it. The empathy you communicate by acknowledging potential interruptions will increase your likability and ensure the person is tuned in to what you say.
A Simple Trick to Make the Person Be Like an Old Friend
You go through a routine day while walking down the street. The world is boring, people are getting through their day, and everything appears it would be the same without you. What do you do if at the other end of the street you see a best friend you have not met for five years?
You see your best friend and your energy amplifies a gazillion times! Memories and feelings gush to you in an intense emotional rush. You run up to the person. “It’s you! I can’t believe it!” You are ecstatic to stumble upon your friend!
The lesson you can learn from this is what I call the “It’s You!” technique. When you call a person or answer the phone, say your normal greeting in an average mood. Once the person introduces himself, you become surprised, or rather energized, to talk with the person. Wait for the person’s introduction then amp up your energy as if you were talking to that old friend you saw on the street. This makes the person pleasantly thrilled to talk to you.
If you always talk energetically over the phone, your energy with the “It’s You!” technique will not have the sincerity and pleasant thrill. The high energy is normal for you. Only when you authentically convey happiness to be talking to the person more than you would with normal people does this technique work. The feelings of importance the person receives makes it a great technique to help them fall in love with you over the phone.
(In an article on how to be interesting without saying a word, I applied this escalating technique on smiling by gradually increasing your smile when you meet someone; instead of walking around smiling or instantly giving off a big smile. These two “escalation techniques” bring sincerity and warmth to your personality.)
An Age-Old Technique to Be Liked More
The fourth tip I recommend you whack into your new bag of tricks over the phone is mentioning the person’s name more often. As Dale Carnegie in How to Win Friends and Influence People writes, “Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” Our names are a sweet tune of music to our ears. It is a fast way to build any relationship.
You need to know one warning about this technique. If you mention someone’s name too often, you come off as a try hard, needy, and desperate person – much like a poor salesman.
If you are like most people, you can comfortably increase the frequency you say the person’s name. You can get away with mentioning their name more often than in a face-to-face conversation because the phone is a different medium. The phone inhibits intimacy.
If the person begins to mentally drift away from you, hearing their name will reinvigorate their interest. The person can subliminally fall in love with you.
How to Make Up for No Body Language With Your Voice
Another difference you can take advantage of over the phone to enhance your relationships and make the person fall in love with you is countering the inability to communicate with body language. Our nonverbal communication is a large tower from where we broadcast strong signals. A simple message like “you’re funny” can be strengthened many times through body language. Some attraction experts even claim body language alone is enough to make someone fall in love with you.
Your voice is the only form of nonverbal communication over the phone making it a booster or destroyer to friendship.
Your nonverbal communication helps others understand you. Without the visual option to see one another over the phone, yours and their inability to read body language can hurt understanding, connection, likability, and attraction. Your voice is the only form of nonverbal communication over the phone making it a booster or destroyer to friendship.
Improve your phone skills despite the lack of connection built through body language by communicating extra energy with your voice. I estimate varying your vocal tonality and energy an extra 30%. If you are happy the person did something well, put an extra 30% of energy in your voice when saying, “That is awesome! Congratulations!” If you are sad, lose 30% of energy in your voice by saying, “I’m… I’m sorry to hear that…” The change of energy communicated through your voice establishes empathy to build a connection with your partner and enhance your relationship fast. The person will have a feeling of being next to you.
The Only Way to Build Rapport Over the Phone
Press Their Hot Buttons
There are certain personality traits we love. You can develop these hot buttons in your conversations over the phone:
- Humor – Everyone loves a laugh. It helps to make the person laugh quickly to lock in a phone conversation with them.
- Curiosity – Be interested in a person’s life. If you find a conversation dying over the phone and you want to enliven it, ask a question to inject life back into the conversation then authentically listen with interest.
- Positiveness – Don’t bicker and complain over the phone. We hate whiners. Talk well of others and enjoy yourself to build quicker rapport.
Rapport is being in sync with the person. It is the hidden key to make people feel connected to you. Establishing rapport ties in with mentioning the person’s name more often and compensating for a lack of body language via your voice because the two techniques build a connection that help the two of you get in sync.
Learning to build rapport over the phone is necessary if you want to build a strong relationship fast. Unfortunately, a complete guide to building rapport is far too complex to discuss in this article, yet the premise of it involves being like the person in as many ways as possible.
One particular characteristic of the person I highly advise you to match is their mood. Mood-matching helps you rapidly build a strong relationship and make someone fall in love with you.
To understand mood-matching, think back to a time you were feeling unhappy and someone bounding with joy tried to cheer you up with their happiness. How did you feel afterward? Most likely more annoyed! Their happiness did not relate to you because the two of you were at polarized emotional levels. The person was happy and you were sad.
You can better relate to people and build this “connection” when you communicate a mood similar to the person. If someone greets you with an energetic “Hi Josh!” meet them at their energy level or higher, “Hi Sue!” If the person tells you a funny story, let them hear your mood, “That’s crazy!” then laugh.
Compensate for the lack of body language over the phone with a 30% extra variance of energy in your voice. Mood is one of many communication factors you can match when talking to someone over the phone to build rapport.
When you combine all these tips to build a strong relationship over the phone with the ways to build attraction, you have the phone skills to make someone fall in love with you! Even better, these phone techniques are not limited to love. Apply these skills to potential clients, family members, and those annoying customers. The phone breaks geographic boundaries, but now you can break emotional boundaries.
Joshua Uebergang aka "Tower of Power"
Joshua Uebergang, aka "Tower of Power", teaches social skills to help shy guys build friends and influence people. Visit his blog and sign-up free to get communication techniques, relationship-boosting strategies, and life-building tips by email, along with blog updates, and more! Go now to http://www.towerofpower.com.au/free/