Effective Communication Skills for Good Relationships

Review of Frogs Into Princes by Richard Bandler and John Grinder

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Review of Frogs Into Princes by Richard Bandler and John Grinder

This is a book review of Richard Bandler and John Grinder’s Frogs Into Princes: Neuro Linguistic Programming. It has been referred by many as the book to read for somebody starting out in neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) and rightfully so.

Richard Bandler and John Grinder are co-founders of NLP. 30 years ago they were making discoveries on human communication still being realized by today’s public. Their knowledge and understanding on the topic comes from decades of experience and modeling expert communicators so you can expect an in-depth discussion on human communication and behavior within the book.

Frogs Into Princes is a transcript from a live seminar conducted by the Bandler and Grinder. Because the seminar was for therapists, most of the techniques’ applications are discussed in a therapist-patient scenario. Therapists and psychologists will find the applications of the techniques extremely useful for improving therapeutic communication with patients.

The book is divided into three main sections, which were presented on three separate days at the seminar:

  1. Sensory Experience: Representational Systems and Accessing Cues
  2. Changing Personal History and Organization: Anchoring
  3. Finding New Ways: Reframing

The first section was possibly the first ever discussion on accessing cues. If you’ve seen a movie where an investigator knows the suspect is lying because of the suspect’s eye movements, you’ve seen the basics of accessing cues. It is more complex than simply observing eye movements because the way we access information is dependent on the questions asked, but the first section reveals this fascinating aspect of human communication.

Representational systems involves the language used in communication and matching the person’s representational system to build rapport. It involves amazing awareness of someone’s body language and appropriately adjusting your own body language to create rapport with people. Matching a person’s representational system is an effective, underused technique to migitate conflict.

The anchoring section deals with classical conditioning and learning to associate certain actions, mostly kinesthetic, to evoke specific emotions and thoughts. The extreme basics of the technique involves touching someone while getting him or her to elicit specific emotions. When you touch the person in the same manner at a later time, they will experience the same emotions when you first touched the person. (That is a very brief description of anchoring. If you try it based on what I told you, it will likely be ineffective.) The section mostly discusses anchoring in the context of overcoming fear in therapy, but it can be easily used in relationships, healing painful memories, negotiations, sales, leadership, and seduction. The application for every technique discussed is diverse.

The last section of Frogs Into Princes gives an exact formula for reframing. The neuro-linguistic technique of reframing involves changing the way you see an event to change its meaning. I have found it to be one of the greatest techniques for overcoming fears and having unstoppable confidence for myself and other people I’ve helped. I feel reframing is a must-have technique for any person who is interested in getting past problems and obtaining the most out of life.

The list of applications for every technique in the three sections are endless.

You would think that because the book is a transcript, the language used would be easy to understand, like the simple language used in face-to-face communication, but it isn’t. This is the greatest downfall of the book. Most parts of the book are difficult to understand because of the terminology used so a lot of “newbie” communicators will struggle to get the most out of the book. (This is true for just about all books on NLP. Nonetheless, Frogs Into Princes successfully covers the foundations of NLP if you can get past its complex terminology.)

Even I found myself rereading some sections five times to understand what was being said. I found the sections to loop into each other, however, where the understanding of certain parts were clearly understood in later sections. Don’t get caught up in understanding everything immediately because you’ll likely figure it out later on while reading the rest of the book.

If you don’t mind more “complex” reads or you think your communication skills are pretty advanced, then you’re sure to get a lot out of this book and I recommend it for you. The last time I checked, the book was out of print, but fortunately it is still made available to you in quality second-hand copies via Amazon. Once you get your copy, hold on to it. You’ll see it as a valuable addition to your personal development and communication library. You can grab your copy of Richard Bandler and John Grinder’s Frogs Into Princes from Amazon by clicking here today.

About the Author

Joshua Uebergang, aka "Tower of Power", teaches social skills to help shy persons build friends and influence people. Visit his blog and sign-up free to get communication techniques, relationship-boosting strategies, and life-building tips by email, along with blog updates, and more! Go now to http://www.towerofpower.com.au/free/

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One Response to “Review of Frogs Into Princes by Richard Bandler and John Grinder”

  1. aidyl on 27th Jan, 2009 at 12:55 am • (#1)

    This is great!!! why cant it be taught in schools from first grade all the way to high school>>>

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