Each author has not written a ground-breaker. I think you can summarize 75% of all the books onto 1 page. You could say this post is a cliffs notes version of 158,000 books. Give yourself the lazy education of reading such an impossible number of words.

The 12 lessons are tips from the top self-help books covering topics from women, depression, relationships, and psychology. I have yet to read a popular self-help book that makes no mention of the below lessons. You may be surprised as you realize how frequently you hear the echoed advice.

1. You decide how you feel

People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.Abraham Lincoln

You are the one who can turn that frown upside down. No one else can do it for you. If you feel like trash right now because your dog bit you, you can make yourself feel great. But if you feel trashy a day after your dog bite, you might want to get checked for rabies…

2. Model the successful

Being a role model is the most powerful form of educating… too often fathers neglect it because they get so caught up in making a living they forget to make a life.John Wooden

Simple and effective. It just makes sense that by modelling a person’s actions you become like them. The self-help lesson became big in the 80s by Tony Robbins when he brought NLP to the common man. NLP breaks down what a successful leader in any field does into traits and steps for a layman to adopt.

3. Like attracts like

Our life is what our thoughts make it.Marcus Aurelius

If you want something, become what you want. Similarly, the law of attraction says we attract what we think about. Visualize your desired reality to bring it to fruition. The popular self-improvement tip has been around for centuries in various forms and books like Think and Grow Rich!.

4. Be present

Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.Oprah Winfrey

Move your focus out of the past to stop worry and out of the future to stop anxiety. With presence comes a calm collection of thoughts and feelings. Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now is the authority piece on presence.

5. Leave your comfort zone

The superior man thinks always of virtue; the common man thinks of comfort.Confucius

…some lessons we need to hear over and over again.

Any lesson on fear, anxiety, growth, and human evolution teaches you to expand your comfort zone. I like to use my feelings of discomfort as a flag of growth. Do the same. Know that by stepping outside your zone as you become uncomfortable, you will not be who you were. Get good insight into fear by reading the 5 truths of fear.

6. Don’t procrastinate

You may delay, but time will not.Benjamin Franklin

So procrastination is bad. Hmm, really? Bet you never heard that before. Set goals, create a to-do list, skip activities that add no value, then work on what matters to get what you want.

7. Be responsible

If your ship doesn’t come in, swim out to meet it!Jonathan Winters

When you step up in your life by taking responsibility for what you potentially influence, great things happen. You are responsible for sitting at home on your computer wallowing in self-pity. You are the reason for not making that nervous-inducing phone call to get the job.

Some take responsibility too far always seeking to assign blame. A woman can be made to feel responsible, guilty, and ashamed for being raped. Dangerous. Take responsibility for what you can affect.

8. You are unique

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.Alison Boulter

You are special. Sounds corny to me. I prefer to hear about pixies and unicorns. What I teach that you may find more helpful is to create self-to-self comparisons rather than self-to-other comparisons. This means compare who you are now to who you were. As a result you stop feeling worthless from not being that muscle head with millions in his pocket and babes hanging off his arms.

Your beginnings are too different to pit yourself against everyone. An inferiority complex happens when you compare yourself to others.

9. Enjoy yourself

Not what we have but what we enjoy, constitutes our abundance.Epicurus

Take a break, have fun. I don’t know how books can be written on this idea alone. I’ve said enough.

10. Appreciate life

He is richest who is content with the least, for content is the wealth of nature.Socrates

The self-help tip is also taught as being grateful for what you have. In every problem is an opportunity. When there is a crest, nearby is a peak. I doubt you can attribute that quote to me, but you’re welcome to.

11. Use positive self-talk

Self-suggestion makes you master of yourself.W. Clement Stone

Replace negative self-talk with chat that benefits you. Change “I can’t do this” to “I can do this”. Action then good feelings flow from empowering self-talk. I like Theodore Bryant’s take on positive self-talk in his book Self-Discipline in 10 Days. He calls them “Vitaminds” – vitamins for the mind. To benefit from vitaminds you need to take them regularly in conjunction with other useful tips revealed in this article.

12. Visualize what you want

Vision is the art of seeing what is invisible to others.Jonathan Swift

Visualization is a commonly recommended technique with positive self-talk. It is becoming increasingly popular in therapy as psychologists use imagery to not only work through problems, but change behavior. The basic aim is to see in your mind what you want. Advanced visualization incorporates sight with taste, smell, touch, and sound of having achieved your goal.

4 Warnings Before You Read Another Article

You now know what you’d remember from reading 158,000 self-help books. Should you never read one again?

Consider this: “People often say that motivation doesn’t last.” said the late motivational speaker Zig Ziglar. “Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.”

Not only is motivation temporary, but some lessons we need to hear over and over again. Take for example the lesson “you decide how you feel”. I need to remind myself that often – even when I teach it! If I feel like **** from a bad week, the circumstances can make me forget so hearing the lesson helps.

…this article is a generalization.

Think about this second point when improving yourself: understanding a topic makes you lose respect for it. Now, this is not always the case. Try learn how a CPU works and you will respect the technology. When you summarize something, its mysteries sink away. You may resent something that once seemed grand. Continue to love working on yourself even when you know the summary of top self-help books.

A third point to consider when taking in self-help is common knowledge often gets passed down generations because it has repeatedly benefited earlier generations. Then again, I could be wrong. It is possible we just believe the psychological equivalent of the world is flat.

Consider a fourth point: this article is a generalization. You may be filled with shock and anger at the concept of self-help. You then assume any such book described by these 12 pieces of advice is useless. Don’t get biased. There’s plenty of books I’ve reviewed and written that have changed my life and ToP subscribers.

What do you think of this summary of self-help books? Do they match your experiences?

For an insider look under the blanket of self-help and how it almost killed me, you can learn more about the myths of self-help.

My video review of the book along with tonnes of special tips and samples you won’t get anywhere else. Be sure to turn up your volume to at least half.

Why You Need to Download it Now

I’ve been shy and lonely like Paul, and know the journey to transformation is scary but Get the Friends You Want makes it fun and effective.

In the caveman days you needed your tribe to hunt animals, kill predators, and protect your family. You could not do all this at once without friends. Today you can live from your computer safe inside an apartment. Does this mean friends are pointless today? You and I know, that is a miserable life.

You need to make friends if you want a great life. Without connections, your opinions get ignored. You are passed up for job promotions. A lack of friends means you miss social activities, solutions to problems from information-sharing, and chances to date someone attractive. Of course, if you have good friends, you have more fun. It may feel unfair and it’s reality.

One common lesson in the book is the irrationality of people when we socialize. We hang out with some people and not others because of survival, replication, status, thrills, approval, and love. We judge others within seconds because there is not enough time to “understand” 7 billion people on Earth. You can complain about this and get nowhere.

Paul says you are rejected or accepted relative to the value you give or fail to give. You can give high value by being popular (allowing friends to make friends), having status (to lift their status), and through other means like creating good emotions in others (where you are fun, ambitious, and positive). Everything you learn in Get the Friends You Want teaches you how to overcome shyness, be fun, and make conversation so you are more valuable than ever.

…you are rejected or accepted relative to the value you give or fail to give.

You are not shown superficial ways to make friends. From reading the book I learned that physical isolation is being alone while social isolation is being lonely. That is why you can feel lonely at work. Social and emotional connection makes loneliness disappear. You learn how to really connect with people without shallowness or manipulation taught in pick-up ebooks or most conversation courses.

That’s why I encourage you to download your copy of the book by clicking here.

Part 1: Overcoming Loneliness, Shyness, and Social Anxiety

It is a weird journey transforming your social life. Fortunately for you, Paul has been there. He was lonely until he transformed then put everything he knew about making amazing friends into the book. You are taken by the hand shown how to safely handle all the change you are about to encounter to create the social life you want.

Once you learn how handle beat loneliness and shyness you’re given step-by-step techniques like “how to use beliefs to unwire shyness from your brain”. Whenever you think of a harmful belief like “People don’t like me”, say it in the voice of a duck. The belief weakens. Say an empowering belief like “People who get to know me, love me” in a deep voice of someone you idolize. This strengthens the belief. Pretty cool trick. You get four “brain toys” that are fun ways to make you feel confident and social.

I loved the tip to handle a party invitation when you’re anxious: accept the invite, but say you can only stay 30 minutes for a reason. This encourages you to attend the party, makes you more comfortable, and allows you to leave if things get too much.

Part 2: Conversation and Social Skills

This part reveals how to master conversation and social skills. You learn how to find common ground, discover conversational hooks you want to talk about, and keep a conversation going. The two lessons about saying what’s on your mind and talking about yourself are powerful. Many other easy-to-use techniques exist so you forever keep a good conversation going.

There’s 6 rules of a cool person, ways to be funny, guidelines to talk with passion, and 44 socially awkward behaviors to avoid. I contacted Paul, the author, and he let me share some with you:

1. Being too different. Be unique, yes. But, if you act and look way too different, people won’t be able to relate to you.

2. Not making eye contact. It’s like you’re hiding something. You should make eye contact often.

3. Standing too close or too far. Too close means you don’t respect others’ physical space. Too far means you want to put a distance between you and the people you’re talking to.

4. Sharing too much personal information, too soon. That should be shared gradually as the friendship deepens.

5…

44. Taking the victim role. Never victimize yourself to get attention. Leave that for the social skills amateurs. If you have a conflict, just say that you don’t get along with the person. Don’t flame them.

Part 3: Making Friends and Building a Social Circle

The final part teaches you how make friends and build a social circle. By the time you finish reading this third section, you will know exactly what to complete each week to meet new people. This section is jammed with practical ways to build a social circle.

I followed the easy advice of how to use Meetup.com and Facebook to meet nice people without wasting time online and already made new friends. That was good, but the tip I liked more is when you set plans with people you know little about, pick a place that:

1. Allows you to talk
2. Alleviates the pressure of conversation through music or some entertainment

This makes it easy to have good conversation even if you are bad at talking with strangers.

Is this book for you? It is if you are shy, lonely, or struggle to make conversation with people you don’t know. As you just saw, you’ll be a more confident and social person by the time you finished reading.

If you’re lucky and really smart, you probably could figure it out all on your own with about 15 years of testing and frustrations. You have no time for that though.

No other course teaches you what you learn in Get the Friends You Want. You get a complete system to build a social life. The book is unavailable in stores, but you can download it and be reading it within 5 minutes from now. I highly encourage you to order the book now by clicking here.

Christian Carter begins Catch Him and Keep Him with two apparently simple questions: what is a man and how does a man differ from you as a woman? If you think about them, the answer to these questions contains the secrets to attract a man and make him committed.

Like most women reading this, you want a real man; not a childish boy. Carter says a woman can attract the wrong man for many reasons, but a major reason is she doesn’t understand the principles of attraction. Books on love and relationships can fill libraries, yet Catch Him and Keep Him covers those subjects and more by also helping women in the initial stages of a relationship when man and woman are strangers to each other. This is where I believe the book is most powerful – that and learning what it takes to keep a man interested.

What he calls “selfish love”, Carter says women fall into a form of vanity believing a man wants the same as she. He teaches women of all ages both single and in a relationship to give a man what he wants by seeking to understand than be understood through three simple steps:

1. Grounding stage
2. Understanding stage
3. Feeling stage

You are taken step-by-step from any emotional immaturity then transformed into a woman who has her psychology and emotional life together. This is to naturally attract men.

You are taken step-by-step from any emotional immaturity then transformed into a woman who has her psychology and emotional life together to naturally attract men.

After this, you discover advice on how to qualify men. You learn to be the selectee instead of the selected. Carter shows you how to regain the power in a relationship, feel in control, and avoid dangerous relationships. No unattractiveness forms from this, however. Men who see a woman exude these in-control qualities view her as someone to spend time with in the future. You’re shown how to spot a player, how men want more than physical qualities, and what you must do to be seen as “relationship material”.

Rarely will you know Mr Right is seated on the other side of the room. A spiritual force is unlikely to make you feel he is the one. Such perceptual awareness requires intense judgment, leaving you vulnerable to misinterpretation and mistaking a feeling of chemistry for a great guy.

Put judgments and blame aside. Start fresh and grow. Carter makes the most important point of self-improvement to get the relationship you want and become the woman men desire. A lot of what he shares helps women develop their emotional and logical lives. To me, growth and personal development to become more than you were yesterday, instead of blame and victimization, is extremely attractive.

Coming to the seventh chapter of the ebook’s nine chapters, I think this will most interest you! Here’s a sample of what’s in the chapter:

• Thirteen personality traits that attract men
• How to naturally attract men
• The curse of physically attractive women
• Six behaviors to avoid like the plague or men will avoid you
• Body language tips and nonverbal habits that repel men
• How to trigger a deeper level of attraction in men to make a guy stick around
• Art of being unique and unpredictable (two seductive qualities that attract men)
• …and more

The ebook is designed to help you attract men even if you’re not beautiful. Men want women in the long-term who give them pleasurable feelings associated with non-physical attraction. Catch Him and Keep Him teaches the logical and emotional methods of attraction vital for happy, ongoing relationships any woman can learn. These methods to attract men are key for all stages of a happy relationship.

Watch this video as Christian Carter reveals a few simple techniques you can use even if men don’t talk to you:

A lesson Carter teaches in Catch Him and Keep Him that is more applicable to keeping Mr Right that I liked is to avoid criticism, having “the talk”, and divulging how you feel about a man. Such logical arguments create resistance in men to repel them fast! You cannot convince men to love and attend to you. Attraction, love, and commitment occur at a level deeper than conversation. It’s an internal decision men make in response to their feelings – even if they cannot describe it that way.

Attraction, love, and commitment occur at a level deeper than conversation.

One major problem that needs emphasis in this review is that women sooner than later cannot get a man to open up according to Carter. Due to society, men fail to articulate the state of the relationship and how they feel with statements like “Umm… I’m not sure”. It becomes unmanly to express emotions. Women can learn from Catch Him and Keep Him to express their beliefs and feelings in an open, rare pressure-free way that connects to a man who reciprocates her open intimacy. Yes, we’re not rocks. I’ve seen that it is possible!

Catch Him And Keep Him is a must for any woman who is single or frustrated with her current relationship. It’s written in easy-to-understand language you can use in your life. It’s the number one book I recommend to a woman who wants to attract and keep a quality man.

Sign up to Christian’s eLetter by clicking here. Once you sign up, you will be taken to a page where you can download his ebook Catch Him And Keep Him: A Woman’s Guide To Finding Mr. Right… And Keeping Him Hooked For Good!. (If you already signed up to his newsletter, just enter a fake name and email to get to the next step so you can claim your copy of this amazing ebook.)

I purchased Miller’s ebook. Upon opening it, I was surprised to see it was only 95 pages. I got a little angry, expecting more, because so many ebooks on persuasion, conversations, and communication- related subjects are small and contain little value. After finishing the ebook, however, I had received more techniques than some 300-page books I’ve read. Do not judge Miller’s book by its size like I did because you will get many mind control techniques to improve your conversations.

The Elite Social Control system shifts self-focused individuals to their conversational partner to improve the connection. This means the system will specifically help you if you suffer from self-consciousness, nervousness, or generally want people to like you more in conversations for better negotiations, dating, and general social situations.

It is not all mystical mumbo-jumbo. There are mind control techniques you can use that make better use of verbal and nonverbal messages. Your nonverbal communication influences people in the most unusual ways, which Elite Social Control will show you to dominate.

I particularly liked the eight secrets of magnetic statements. Miller teaches you how to make your words hook people into having a great conversation with you. His 13 pieces of advice to avoid repelling statements is just as good. You will learn good conversation etiquette many people ignore, which I have not read elsewhere. Also, the advice he offers to relax your body language, change your voice, and improve your general image will help you become confident, comfortable, and likable.

…a controversial ebook that teaches ethical mind control techniques for better conversations.

While there are many conversation techniques I liked and never knew about, there was the occasional technique I hated because it leads into psychic material. Some people will like this, though I don’t. Regardless of your attitude towards such material, most of the book focuses on proven mind techniques and communication tricks. Many other techniques in the ebook are valuable tools to win people to your way of thinking, have positive conversations, and build solid rapport.

Hamilton also provides 10 magnetic moves and a few nonverbal tricks. As is true for most of the book, you’re given quick-fire techniques that attract people in conversations. “The Non-Analytical Look”, “Elite Gaze”, and “Four Steps to Chain Rapport” are solid tricks to help you in any conversation.

Though it is short, it is concise and powerful. Its size is even beneficial because you can read it within 2-3 hours and quickly refer to it when you need to. If you are interested Hamilton Miller’s Elite Social Control to improve your conversations – for whatever reason – you can download your copy right now and be reading it within minutes by clicking here.

Covey’s book has sold over 15 million copies for a reason: It ignores trends and popular psychology, and sticks with enduring principles of lasting change. His seven principles build a lasting foundation for truth, openness, and integrity. The principles are timeless – unchanging to events – that make the book the personal development favorite of many self-help experts.

The first three principles are: 1) be proactive, 2) begin with the end in mind, and 3) put first things first. These first three principles deal with dependence as the author moves you through new paradigms.

The first principle moves you from blame and victimization to responsibility. The second principle moves you from destructive centeredness and obsessions to a healthy focus and clear values. While the third principles deals with the “fourth generation” of time management where you learn to do what matters most instead of following to-do lists and doing frivolous tasks that contribute little to your life and other’s lives.

The second lot of three principles (four to six) deal with interdependency. The second triplet of principles are self-explanatory: 4) think win/win, 5) seek first to understand, then to be understood, and 6) synergize. These three principles are more like communication skills as the first three principles provide you the foundation to use them.

It is sad to see many people ignore these principles. As a result, their relationships suffer and people resent them. Any success they get is short-term, unsatisfactory, and often lonely.

Covey emphasizes that effective people are interdependent on others. While they are independent and strong in their own right, when they use the three principles for interdependence, the sum of people’s work is more than the individual parts.

Many personal development public speakers, authors, life coaches, and organizational trainers say the book is the best they ever read.

The last principle is called “sharpen the saw”. It deals with renewal in the physical, mental, social/emotional, and spiritual dimensions. Just as a blunt saw becomes tiresome for a woodcutter, a failure to renew in these four dimensions result in unproductive and sometimes destructive living for the exasperated individual. When the four dimensions are renewed, the seventh principle of “sharpen the saw” is followed to encapsulate the other six principles. It is in such ways that all the principles feed from one another.

The last point I want to emphasize to encourage you to invest in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People if you have not already done so is the character ethic Covey focuses on. Most books today focus on the personality ethic. A personality ethic deals with attitudes, behaviors, skills, and the techniques for human interaction. While the personality ethic is important, without the character ethic that offers courage, patience, and integrity, long-term success is inhibited. The establishment of a strong character ethic creates change from the inside-out.

You must get the book. Many personal development public speakers, authors, life coaches, and organizational trainers say the book is the best they ever read. I highly encourage you to grab your copy of Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People now from Amazon right now by clicking here today.

David DeAngelo starts by letting you know his Double Your Dating ebook is not an encyclopedia, but a reference to being successful with women. It is not intended to be a complete resource on how men can attract women. It is a mighty fine start. You get strong foundations any guy must know in order to become successful with women and dating.

The History of Double Your Dating and DeAngelo

After a decade’s experience in learning how to attract women, DeAngelo knows how guys approach the subject of learning how to be successful with women. Too often he has seen guys take a mental standpoint where they mistake themselves for knowing the information while they don’t put the skills to use. He mentions the need for guys to go out and practice the attraction skills he teaches. Many guys seeking advice from him are intelligent, but smart can be dumb. The skills he teaches, like any other, require practice. No great skill or canned pick-up lines will make a guy succeed with women and dating if they are not practiced, adapted, and understood.

There are many canned lines given in the ebook, which give you a strong frame of reference for creating your own lines. “What to say” is not the basis of the ebook. The ebook is not filled with lines – it is a holistic reference to become successful with women. The given lines act like the framework for tough situations, such as the complete guide on what to do and say to get a woman’s phone number. The ebook is a powerful reference to create the whole mindset you must have to start dating physically and emotionally attractive women.

DeAngelo has slashed through the loads of dating and psychology advice for men, most of which is useless or harmful.

This touches on another topic where guys follow the age-old dating myth of “just be yourself”. Most guys have no idea how to attract women because their natural self is bottled inside of fear, anxiety, and placing women on a pedestal. Once you practice and internalize the information, you then have the privilege to behave in whatever way is natural to you. Being yourself is an earned privilege and not a right.

DeAngelo’s teachings come from his own experience, and years of studying experts. He has slashed through the loads of dating and psychology advice for men, most of which is useless or harmful, so you can be certain his guidance and tips work. I heard him describe his learning experience from the loads of information as walking through a jungle with a machete slashing through the crap that gets in the way of men being successful with women.

The Theory of Attraction and Dating Women

In traditional DeAngelo fashion, he begins Double Your Dating with theory. He briefly goes back a few thousand years to identify the psychological factors of women that remain unchanged to this day. There are inherit differences between the way women and men think, feel, and behave. By taking advantage of these differences – instead of letting them confuse you, like most guys who are unaware of gender differences in dating and attraction – you become more successful with women.

Men new to attraction and the whole “pick-up scene” make the mistake of assuming women are only interested in handsome, tall, wealthy, and powerful men. These guys also mistake women as wanting similar characteristics in men that guys want in women.

You learn that women are naturally attracted to handsome, tall, wealthy, or powerful men. Though these characteristics instinctively trigger a woman’s natural feelings of attractiveness towards a guy, a man who develops his confidence, social skills, and attraction triggers can elicit more powerful sexual feelings from within her. What matters most is how a man makes a woman feel through his personality and communication. There are plenty of wealthy, tall, good-looking men who get women’s attention, but cannot keep it because they disobey the principles in Double Your Dating.

How This Will Help You Transform

Two general principles I loved, which stood out from Double Your Dating, is the mindset you must have to become good at something and the need to constantly improve yourself. Though the ebook provides quick, short-term tips to be successful with women, the guys who make the commitment and effort to practice the advice get greater success with women than the guys after quick canned lines. A commitment to yourself with persistent effort is a sure way to get the most out of any goal you desire. The second principle of constantly improving yourself will do all guys a miracle in becoming more emotionally and physically attractive.

You learn many skills in the ebook that I recommend to improve your social skills and feelings about yourself. You discover how to adjust your attitude, change negative beliefs to empowering beliefs, boost your self-esteem, become a man women know is sexually attractive, and general psychological betterment. The exercises he provides improves many areas of anyone’s life – they are not limited to helping guys become more successful with women.

Become a True Man That Naturally Attracts Women

One point I think you will love most in the ebook are the strategies and exercises to overcome your a fear of approaching women. Too many guys let their fear of approaching stop them from success with women. I felt DeAngelo was speaking directly to me with my past fears of going up to girl and getting rejected.

Another interesting point worth noting is “ass kissing” behavior like buying a woman’s affection is to be avoided at all times. In any situation where the motive behind complimenting is manipulative, you can expect a poor response. The basis of the ebook transforms these natural tendencies guys have into challenging behaviors (she buys you a drink). A guy in control of his life who can playfully tease women communicates sexually attractive qualities.

…a reference to being successful with women.

The personality styles that turn women on is, by itself, enough reason to check out the ebook. These personality styles go beyond personalities that women love – they are an entire life-changing mindset. One particular personality style of many I’ll share with you to demonstrate what I’m talking about is the “aggressive” personality. This personality is not about beating up women or being a jerk; it refers to pursuing a goal with passion, persistence, and determination. Women attract to men that work aggressively towards their passionate goals. It communicates energy, protection, security, and a future outlook. These are instinctively attractive traits to women.

Possibly the greatest thing about Double Your Dating was added in the second edition: the action exercises after every chapter. I cannot stress enough the need to practice any skill. Practicing is especially important in the dating world because fear unnecessarily prevents you from dating success. A lot of people develop their fears from thinking too much. The action exercises are little steps to get you where you want to be in the dating world. These steps backed by a lot of real-world advice means the ebook can help you go from not even being able to approach a girl, to having a great long-term relationship.

Overall, I was very pleased with the ebook. David DeAngelo’s style of writing was casual. I’ve observed his company and products for over five years. It is great to see thousands of men around the world in diverse cultures succeed from Double Your Dating.

Readers have more than doubled their dating – they have gone from never having a girlfriend to dating ten women a month. It’s crazy how much success some men now have with women after reading the ebook. These men are now the selectee instead of the selected.

If you wonder how you can be more successful with women, DeAngelo’s ebook shows you how. I believe all men if they practice hard, can “mold with their hands” the kind of success with women they want. If only every man could read it, they would not experience years of frustration, loneliness, and fear that controls their lives.

Double Your Dating has my recommendations behind it! Sign up to David’s newsletter by clicking here. Once you sign up, you will be taken to a page where you can download his ebook Double Your Dating: What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women (Second Edition). (If you already receive his newsletter, just enter a fake name and email to continue to the next step so you can get your copy of this amazing ebook.)

Author Leil Lowndes gives 92 tricks to become a better conversationalist and improve your social relationships. From body language tricks and words to say, to telephone techniques and social tactics, it’s all in Lowndes’ How to Talk to Anyone.

The 92 tips are spread throughout the following 9 parts:

1. How to intrigue everyone without saying a word: You only have ten seconds to show you’re a somebody
2. How to know what you say after “Hi”
3. How to talk like a VIP
4. How to be an insider in any crowd: What are they all talking about?
5. How to sound like you’re a peas in a pod: “Why, we’re just alike!”
6. How to differentiate the power of praise from the folly of flattery
7. How to direct dial their hearts
8. How to work a party like a politician works a room: The politician’s six-point party checklist
9. How to break the most treacherous glass ceiling of all: Sometimes people are tigers

As you can tell from the nine parts above, the book is pretty irresistible. Of course, a few of the 92 tricks won’t revolutionize your life, but even if you are a great conversationalist, you are bound to discover a few techniques to throw in your communication bag of tricks. Little techniques like the “big baby pivot”, “little strokes”, and “swiveling spotlight” add up to make you a conversationalist who can talk to anyone. If you don’t know what to say in a conversation or you generally struggle to talk to strangers, How to Talk to Anyone is bound to save you from drowning in conversations.

Part four titled “How to be an insider in any crowd” was the best part of the book for me. Some great tips were given on the topic of how to dial up a stranger’s hot buttons by talking about their topics of interest (Hint: It’s not asking them what they’re into). The advice strongly applies to all types of conversations. Whether talking to a celebrity or a stranger of the opposite sex, the gems shared in this part will be your go-to guide.

You will finish the book in no time and be talking to anyone.

In each tip, Lowndes shares a story of her own or a friend’s story to demonstrate how the tip can be applied in real conversations. This makes the book a quick and practical read. The gray box at the end of each tip summarizes what you need to know. It makes for a quick reviser to easily remember the flood of tips given to you.

Leil Lowndes has an amazing ability to write in an interesting manner as she paints images with picturesque words. You will finish the book in no time and be talking to anyone. I’ve talked with Leil after reading the book and she is as nice in person as her beautiful writing style.

How to Talk to Anyone is really a book to better your conversation skills and not a relationship skills book. The relationship aspect of this book is about having the skills to start a conversation and keep a conversation going. There is, however, some good tips for maintaining strong relationships that can also be applied to improving your conversations.

To begin improving your conversation skills with 92 killer tips and never be left in the cold during a conversation, get your copy of How to Talk to Anyone from Amazon right now by clicking here today.

UPDATE: Leil has released a new book titled How to Instantly Connect with Anyone, which contains even more little tricks to talk and make friends with people. I’ve read the book and it’s great like How to Talk to Anyone! All tips are unique. I encourage you to get both books.

Robert Cialdini is currently Regent’s Professor of Psychology at Arizona State University. His book Influence is a fantastic classic on persuasion as he transforms what most people took as hidden and unknown variables in decision-making into clear principles that you can use to influence people.

The book discusses the following six principles of influence, which have a chapter dedicated to each:

1. Reciprocation – people have an inherent desire to return favors
2. Commitment and Consistency – people’s past decisions guide their future decisions
3. Social Proof – people look to others then follow what they are doing
4. Liking – people are more persuaded by those they like
5. Authority – people are more persuaded by those seen as holding authority
6. Scarcity – people are more persuaded when the resource at hand is perceived to be limited

These six principles briefly described are simple definitions that do not fully explain their respective principle of influence. Influence provides an in-depth look into the various situations each principle can be applied, when it is most effective, why it works, why it won’t work, and other variables that modify the principle.

Each of the chapters is split into two parts. The first part teaches you how to apply the persuasive principle. The second part teaches you how to defend yourself from the principle when it is used against you. While all the principles are naturally desirable to us, the second part makes you aware of when the influential principles cause you to make a decision you otherwise would avoid had the persuasive principle been absent.

Cialdini’s involvement in academic psychology has given him numerous and insightful research findings that he shares in Influence. The research shared within this book stood out for me.

One real example I’d like to quickly highlight for you to give you an idea of its fascination is how 1 leader, in the year 1978, managed to get 910 people to kill themselves with no coercive tactics – only by using the principle of social proof. The leader firstly influenced the individuals most likely to commit suicide. From there, others followed. In times of uncertainty we look to see what others do. The lesson in this example was that no leader can persuade every member of a group and, therefore, must create an environment that maximizes social proof. This ultimately lets the leader influence the entire group.

…a classic on persuasion.

You may think research is only good for discoveries. The research in Influence is the author’s way of revealing, explaining, and investigating the principles of influence. I would go as far to say that every page of its 280 pages has at least 1 research experiment or real-life example of the relevant persuasive principle. You won’t get bogged down in details though as Cialdini gives you only what you need to know.

Influence is a leader in the business world. It is the default book of persuasion I hear recommended by experts in all fields, from seduction and business, to marketing and power. I feel it is a must-read for anyone who wants to improve his or her negotiation skills, leadership, parenting, sales skills, marketing communication, or business. I highly recommend this book to anyone because we all use persuasion in someway. Grab your copy of Influence from Amazon right now by clicking here.

Straight off, you must follow Brain Tracy, bestselling author of Create Your Own Future. Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life needs to be in your personal library. It has been hailed by many people as one of Tracy’s top books (from over 30 books), if not his best book.

The basis of the book is about improving the way you think to get stronger relationships, become better at your career, increase your happiness, and generally achieve more success. From having role models, goals, dreams, and developing excellence in your chosen field, to listening, strategic thinking, time management, getting “the edge”, and earning more, it all stems from changing the way you think. This is all covered in the book.

One characteristic about this book that makes it better than Tracy’s other books are the references to several university studies and other types of research that back up the principles he provides and to explain his lessons. The research gives great insight and sets the book apart from the others he has written.

People with personal development experience will know most of the principles mentioned in this book. If you know the principles and have not achieved the goals you want in life, then you don’t really “know”. Knowing is doing. Therefore, you need to read this book and follow it up with action. Reading and re-reading this book yearly will remind you of the principles you may already know, but have yet to implement.

…the first personal development book I read.

Like his other books, this book is one with simple, easy-to-understand, to-the-point lessons. You will find yourself repeatedly reading powerful lessons instead of stories and filler.

Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life is the first personal development book I read after I picked up my father’s copy of it in the year 2000. I’m unsure if the book hooked me into becoming more than I am, but it at least put me on the path where I now teach thousands of people worldwide. It is a significant book in my life because of its impact on me. Who knows the impact it could have on you? I highly recommend it. You can grab your copy from Amazon right now by clicking here.

Brian Tracy is known for his concise and easy-to-understand books on self-help classics. Create Your Own Future is no exception. Tracy has included materials from his other works and the likes of Napoleon Hill and Dale Carnegie for one reason: it works. I know several people who have read this book and experienced a wonderful life-change.

There are five chapters of interest to people who want to improve their communication: chapter 1 (Success Is Predictable), chapter 5 (Attitude Is Everything), chapter 7 (Relationships Are Essential), and chapter 13 (Fortune Favors the Brave).

In chapter 7, Tracy shares effective principles on how you can successfully network with the big players in your career and industry. You learn how to get influential people on your side to help career success. If you don’t already know, networking is key to most people’s success. Having the people and resources available to you at your request helps you overcome problems they can solve.

Create Your Own Future appears to focus on succeeding in your career, though the principles like attitude, clarity, and knowledge are useful in many situations. Tracy provides interesting insight into the conscious, subconscious, and superconscious mind and how you can use each mind to improve various areas of your life.

…you must read it if you want to better yourself.

If you have read several of Brian Tracy’s books on personal development, you’ll find a lot of teachings in this book overlap with his other books. Even so, I think you will learn a few life-changing principles from the many in this book. You can probably skip the book if you have studied personal development for years.

With the vast amount of easy-to-understand personal development principles in Create Your Own Future, you must read it if you want to better yourself. A simple principle like transforming your car into a mobile university by listening to CDs, instead of wasting hundreds of hours listening to the radio, is extremely valuable. You can grab your copy of Create Your Own Future from Amazon by
clicking here today.