Comments on: How to Not Care What People Think of You – and Release Your People-Magnetic Self Into the Conversation

By: Brad

Brad — Sun, 26 Oct 2014 17:44:00 +0000

Even though I don’t find this much of a problem for myself, I know everyone struggles with it to some extent. I enjoy researching it because I’m always looking for ways I can better myself and have always been fascinated with psychology in general.
I noticed that you’ve already received much support after reading several of your other comments, however I feel compelled to tell you, and wish you only knew how big of a compliment it is, when i say that out of the ridiculous amount of material I have read on this topic, your article has really stood out by how well its broken down and explained so that readers can understand and ACTUALLY RELATE TO IT in some way. With so many different POV’S offering advice on how to stop caring what people think that’s on the internet, it can be a lot to take in for someone trying to find anything useful…….However this is useful, and has obviously helped many people.

By: Dwayne

Dwayne — Tue, 02 Apr 2013 11:24:30 +0000

Impressive stuff man, this is precisely what I needed to know.
There’s a couple of other issues I got concerning this, but I suppose I cannot be greedy. 1 answer at a time.

By: Diego

Diego — Mon, 19 Nov 2012 01:45:13 +0000

I apologize but this is going to be long comment. This is an amazing article, I’ve been reading more material by minds like Eckhart Tolle and David Deida on being present, this is spot on. I use to mind-read a lot, but I’ve been improving at being in the moment. Still though in certain situations like starting a conversation with a beautiful woman, I begin to tremble with fear due to 3 main reasons.
– Other people will think it’s weird I’m approaching a stranger. Plus if I get rejected I feel they’ll secretly laugh at me, which will cause me to feel humiliated.
– If the girl has a boyfriend, I’m afraid he might notice the conversation and will want to start a fight with me. I just want to have a good time talking to people.
– My buddies use to pressure me into flirting with girls. This made me feel uncomfortable, now when we hang out, I still feel this dynamic exists and it stresses me more when I try to talk.

How do you build connections, being your true self, without letting these fears get in the way?

Thank You

By: virgeodle

virgeodle — Wed, 17 Oct 2012 06:30:03 +0000

wow!
i just got some mental freedom after reading this.God bless you Josh.

By: Review of The Quick and Easy Way to Effective Speaking by Dale Carnegie

Review of The Quick and Easy Way to Effective Speaking by Dale Carnegie — Thu, 11 Oct 2012 08:58:27 +0000

[…] book to improve not just your public speaking skills, but to also better your conversation skills, remove self-consciousness, and boost confidence. Effective public speaking can give you these benefits. If you haven’t […]

By: Setting SMART Achievable Personal Goals

Setting SMART Achievable Personal Goals — Thu, 27 Sep 2012 08:13:16 +0000

[…] overcome the fear of criticism, put bluntly, screw what people think. Do not allow people to destroy your life with their beliefs. You would not tie a one tonne boulder […]

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Sun, 22 Apr 2012 08:31:18 +0000

Hm. As a person with social anxiety, I don’t see the benefit of being told that my anxiety will instinctively make people reject me. I know for a fact that there are many people that do not reject me based on that anxiety and it’s actually quite intimidating to suggest something like that. I admit that it’s probably better to let go of my anxiety in a social situation, but that’s not something I’m capable of doing, so telling me that people hate me for having the anxiety isn’t as all helpful.

kthxbai.

By: alicia

alicia — Sun, 26 Feb 2012 23:03:51 +0000

Good article and it hit some points I’ve been focusing on lately. However this part I don’t agree with:

–If you are to be powerful with people, you must build acceptance by doing things people favor, such as starting interesting conversations, being friendly, and using other effective communication techniques. Grow yourself and adapt to situations, but do not feel people must validate your reality–

So a person basically has to seek acceptance accordingly to what people GENERALLY favor? Is it not the reason why most self-conscious/ social anxious people become unhappy in the first place, trying to be what other people FAVOR because they are not as talkative? How about being comfortable with yourself and let the rest fall into place? Many socially anxious people who want to get rid of their anxiousness often do their best plenty of times to initiate conversations and be friendly yet, failed at the end by nosediving into social situation without being comfortable within. Once one becomes comfortable without apology, what other people “favor” will become natural to the anxious person. And if it does not happen at least they lost the self-doubt. Not everyone is able to adapt quickly or feel the NEED to talk a lot in a social setting, no matter how much practice they do. This is equivalent to your example of a musician, he or she must be confident in their musical ability FIRST in order for their performance to go naturally smooth. Sorry but i think the part I copy/paste from your article isn’t a grand cure to become relaxed in conversations. Honestly, I’m not trying to be a people magnet right now as I’m working on stop being so self-conscious. Now if I do become gregarious GREAT, if not, I will be content continuing being my reserved self.

By: Indra

Indra — Mon, 12 Sep 2011 09:13:30 +0000

Hi Joshua,

I’ve just discovered your website, I have also just discovered that I have a low self esteem and inferiority complex.

I must say that i am changing, I have found a mentor who has been helping me realise all this.

in addition to that, stumbling upon your website is also helping me greatly.

Am really enjoying and appreciating the contents of your website.

Thanks a lot.

By: kim

kim — Mon, 27 Jun 2011 21:06:49 +0000

This article changed my life. Seriously. Thank you! 🙂