Comments on: How to Forgive and Be Forgiven – The Art of Forgiveness

By: How to Win an Argument Everytime

How to Win an Argument Everytime — Wed, 08 Dec 2010 08:56:29 +0000

[…] and makes you look weak. Apologizing has no benefits. It’s in your best interest to leave forgiveness to religious […]

By: Carol Ann

Carol Ann — Sat, 18 Sep 2010 13:22:17 +0000

Hi Joshua
Oh wow! I have just read your articles on apologies and forgiveness, brilliant. I have done much research on this topic and feel I am fairly well advanced in my techniques and your articles have confirmed this and also opened up many more avenues of thought, thank you. I have a situation where I need to apologise to someone for and unintentional big mistake and this has inspired me, thank you again. I will be reading many more of your articles. Carol Ann

By: How Self-Help Almost Killed Me and is a Money-Sucking Scheme Hurting You

How Self-Help Almost Killed Me and is a Money-Sucking Scheme Hurting You — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 07:09:43 +0000

[…] Guilt like all emotions contain a message according to Dr Harriet Haberman. Let guilt lead you to forgiveness and positive […]

By: Joshua Uebergang aka "Tower of Power"

Joshua Uebergang aka "Tower of Power" — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 14:49:11 +0000

In reply to Gail. Well done with your forgiveness Gail. Without knowing what happened, it's okay to be in pain. Stop trying to manipulate your emotions and expecting pain to vanish with some self-help technique. When you accept everything about yourself and the present moment, you will be happy. I believe you can only change through acceptance.

By: Gail

Gail — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 13:35:13 +0000

My husband says I may be in the process of forgiveness and hopefully some day I will not relive the pain. He hurt me beyond words and we both accept that. I understand and accept his apology wholeheartedly. I understand what happened. I understand that this hurts me worse because of my fears and past hurts. I do not resent him; have no need to get revenge; and yet, I remember the incidents and feel the pain as if it happened just yesterday. Is this just something that will lessen with time? I want to be happy and everything is in place for me to be happy — so why does it hurt so terribly much still? Its like I hold on to the pain for a reason that I can not see. It’s not protecting me or keeping me from trusting him again; if he repeated his actions, they would hurt just as much. So, why would a person need to hold onto the pain??? ❓

By: Principles and Tips to Deal with Difficult People

Principles and Tips to Deal with Difficult People — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 20:18:36 +0000

[…] Forgive to clean your heart then keep an open mind as to why someone is difficult. Stop hopping to conclusions by portraying the problem as the person’s difficulty. You blockade truth with judgments and fear of self-analysis. […]

By: Stacey

Stacey — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 04:16:34 +0000

Thanks for this article. I will never be able to take back my wrongs but I hope to correct some of the hurt I made. I found this good to inspire thought and consideration.

By: Joshua Uebergang aka "Tower of Power"

Joshua Uebergang aka "Tower of Power" — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 21:48:21 +0000

In reply to Marie.

Marie, you seem to say that age gives you experiences that young people are yet to experience. That is, young people have not been burdened by troubles that elderly people are influenced by. To me, that appears as an excuse for not forgiving.

What I’m talking about here is not forgiving such that things go back to the way they were before. That is forgiving and forgetting, which is divine. Go and learn from the past, move somewhere if you want, but that is completely different to holding a grudge and not forgiving.

If you were to say “get out of my life forever”, that is fine of course. It becomes a problem when you are burdened by resentment. Forgiveness helps you move on, but that doesn’t mean you live ignorant to the past, which is what you might be hinting at.

By: Marie

Marie — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 12:46:58 +0000

Joshua, there is a truth that your youth may not allow you to understand: Not all offenses are forgivable. Not all hurts are fixed with an apology – spoken or otherwise. Sometimes the person who has been hurt has every reason and every right to say simply, “Leave me alone forever, and forever stay out of my life.” In such cases, an attempt to approach the person to “give an apology” is simply one more offense. In such cases, it is only youth that would try to suggest to the injured party that he is “holding a grudge.” Sometimes what the injured party is doing is defending himself against re-injury. Sometimes offenses are so great that the best course for the injured party is to cut all ties and all associations with the offending party.

By: The Heart of Effective Communication: How to Love People

The Heart of Effective Communication: How to Love People — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 06:32:09 +0000

[…] when it is ignored as you fail to forgive someone or when you do not take radical responsibility. Learning the art of forgiveness will erase any resentment. We think we hurt others when holding resentment against them, but we […]