Amazing, I’ll stop trolling information now and start to improve my current emotional outcome from an ex of 6 years. I’m feeling better already after reading this. Amazing what the higher brain can do when you have control of it. I can see some people have trouble seeing what really is and just feel their way through it which sometimes their feelings may not be correct.

Thanks Joshua, I can’t go past this advice.

Best wishes from Australia, P.

Hey, I left a post on 30 December 2010. 3days after my breakup. I just read my own post and can’t believe hoe far I’ve come since leaving that post. When I left that post I was still so torn up by the relationship coming to an end. I couldn’t breath, eat, sleep, and was constantly crying and in pain. Not knowing how but you just live to survive another second in the day, every minute going through a different emotion. (different levels of pain)

Now 3months later, I’m still standing. Stronger than ever!! I did not get back with my ex. Infact, I have consciously decided not to have anymore contact with him. Looking back, I don’t know how, but somehow I’ve survived and I’m still surviving and getting stronger everyday.

I’m under no disillusions that I’m over the breakup, because I’m not and know that I still have a long road to walk until I can say that I’m over him. I know that I still love him and sometime I still miss him and I experience the pain of the loss again. But it is not a constant pain anymore. Not like when we had just broken up.

I still often refer to this article and have shared it with quite a few friends going through a breakup. What has really helped me THIS time. I have not forgotten the Golden Rule. I keep on reminding myself of the Golden Rule when I get lonely and want him back. Unlike the previous times we broke up and I still wanted him back (and took him back). This time is different, this time I know I do not want him back!! When the loneliness and miss sets in, that picture can become faint but then I remind myself that I do not want him back and the reasons why I can never go back to him again. I feel this had been the big difference from the ohter times we broke up.

Point being, I’ve taken this article and out it into practise. It has really been my saving grace. And time!! Only time can heal…I still take it one day at a time. I allow myself for miss & love him and to feel the hurt and pain!! Then I have a good cry and I move on from it. Everytime I allow myself to go through the bad emotions, I find that as painful as it is at that moment, it subsides and only makes me stronger.

I’m not fully healed yet, but I’m not just surviving day by day either anymore. I’m actually finally starting to live my life again. So I want to encourage all those going through a breakup. In the beginning it might not look like it, and you don’t know how you will make it through the next hour let alone the day. Just know that somehow, some way you will find the strength within to survive slowly but surely the pain will become less and easier to deal with. And eventually all the pain will be gone and you would have survived!! It will all get better in time.

Looked at the order page and Kenya isn’t currently accepted. Do you have a friend overseas who can order it for you? A second idea is to select another country, enter one of their zip codes (search Google), and pay as usual. Hope this helps.

When we broke up, my partner said that he still loves me and never stopped loving me but that he is in love with his best friend. His best friend’s partner knows about the feelings they share but has decided to stay in he relationship. I however could not stay in a relationship knowing my partner is “in love” with someone else. He has cheated on me before and two years ago he did the same thing by asking for a “break” just to ask for another chance 3 weeks later because he realised that he “couldn’t live without me”. I forgave him everytime this happened. I fear that this is another phase that he is going through. I however decided, I do not want him back and hope that I am strong enough to stick to my decision should he ever ask for another chance. Deep down I know this is the best thing that could ever happen to me (I am finally strong enough to walk away) and that I deserve better than him.

The problem that I have though is that I am still so confused. we do not live together and on the day that we broke up he still told me (via text msg) that he loves me when he opened his Christmas gift at his place and when he came through later the eve. Although I started seeing a change in his behaviour when me met this friend and partner, I never felt that in our own relationship there was a disconnect. Everytime we were together (even in their company) I still felt my boyfriend was committed to me and loved me. I got text msgs and calls everyday were he told me he loves me. I never felt that the other couple were not in love either. I did however sense that me partner was starting to develop feelings for this new friend. I never thought that the feelings would go as deep as calling it as being “in love”.

My problem is that although I consciously do not want him back, I cannot help but be torn up by the relationship. One moment I’m okay and the very next moment It feels like I cannot breath, eat or sleep. I am really struggling with it. I suspected something like this could but never in my wildest dreams thought it would him me as hard as it has. I think what makes it worse is that everyone is telling me its another phase he is gong through and the feelings are not real or this person. Also, the fact that I never felt disconnected from him whilst we were together has created alot of confusion in me. How do you just after 7years suddenly decide that you want to end a relationship which seems perfectly healthy and happy.

Everytime I confronted him about his feelings for his friend, he denied it and said I’m the only person he wants to be with (even up until I found that email). When I asked him why he never asked to get out of the relationship before he said that until I found the email he did not want to face his feelings and hurt me. He is also happy walking away from the relationship, knowing that he cannot be with his “best friend”. This morning I still felt like things were not going to be okay and questioned all the different emotions going through me but this article has really helped me to put things into perspective. I’m not struggling with the pain due to wanting him back, I’m hurting because of the memories we shared over the 7 years and I’m hurting, knowing that he could just throw 7 years away for something he doesn’t even know is going to work and that our relationship never meant enough to him to fight for it. At the moment I am just trying to cope with the pain when it goes and I’m trying to focus on the light at the end of the tunnel…This article will go along way in helping me deal with my grief.