Comments on: Why People Remain Quiet, Shy, and Non-Assertive: The Benefits of Passive Behavior and Communication

By: Review of The Game by Neil Strauss

Review of The Game by Neil Strauss — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 09:28:32 +0000

[...] from geek to woman-magnet. You follow his exciting tales as he starts out as not confident, shy, passive, and an introverted writer for The New York Times who within two years becomes one of the [...]

By: JoyJOy

JoyJOy — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 14:21:03 +0000

i always thought my passive nature is really not helpfull. but thanx to u! actually i was trying to find what kind of person i am! cause i always have really hard time telling me who i am. i always related dat to “identity cricis” (i heard about it in class!) lol n so much more!
well anyway the thing is ur article helps! thnx

By: Ways to Resolve Conflict When Others Avoid It » ToP

Ways to Resolve Conflict When Others Avoid It » ToP — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 04:14:22 +0000

[...] “Nice people” block out their dark side where the shadow image resides. They suffer with communication by not feeling anger, sadness, or fear. Resentment, frustration, and an inability to deal with conflict surfaces because they refuse to deal with what they block out. They literally avoid parts of themselves by avoiding conflict. [...]

By: S J

S J — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 01:54:10 +0000

Yo! what up dudes.I just got finished with this article and found it very interesting. One thing that stood out to me the most was how passiveness is looked upon as a weak form of personality and needs to be changed by going to classes or reading an inspiring book. Really? I have been around these people my whole life. the world is based on passive behaviors, reacting to someone who cuts you off and not finishing off your thought of stepping out of the car and beating them senceless. Or instead of telling your inlaws they smell like cabbage you put on a fake smile, or just don’t show up. Letting the president of the U.S. take control of the states and ruin everything without an impeachment or a simple hanging. people are weak and won’t move foward as a whole.
leaning on some a-hole to tell them that they are a weak version of whats healthy and that they can help them kinda defeats the purpose, a kind of oxi moron……
My sister I love very much sent me to this site because of her boyfriend of many years is extremly passive. I can see where she could sence a level of comfort and understanding from this article, but I truly feel that we could really benefit from just giving these passive people a swift kick in the balls and leave them to find out that WE as a whole can work around them without missing a beat. no reason to pitty them, just let them live in there own wollow untill they figure out that there 4th grade mentality in life doesn’t work anymore.
I know it sounds harsh but really, my sister too is passive, her boyfriend…. MY best friend through school.
I just don’t take either of their crap, when the’re passive I just look at the situation and say “well, you won’t make a desision so I will, and you have to live with it” they can feel crappy on ther own!

By: How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty » ToP

How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty » ToP — Wed, 20 May 2009 08:20:54 +0000

[...] regrets, poor quality relationships. Frequent assertion can be inappropriate, but most people are too passive and don’t need to worry about this [...]

By: The Decision Tree of Effective Leadership to Create Freedom and Independence » ToP

Sat, 24 Jan 2009 03:36:45 +0000

[...] action taken. On the other hand, the“child” hates being told what to do by the “parent” and will find an excuse to avoid the task whether through silence, avoidance, or forgetfulness. Again, this problem can be solved through [...]

By: Managing and Dealing with an Aggressive Boss » ToP

Managing and Dealing with an Aggressive Boss » ToP — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 04:40:34 +0000

[...] Passive people surpress their own needs and get dominated by others. They live in frustration as their anger is bottled inside. They lack the communication skills to address the problem and hope the abusive person stops bullying out of goodwill. The end result is a win for the bully and a loss for the passive person. [...]

By: 12 Neuro-Linguistic Programming Presuppositions

12 Neuro-Linguistic Programming Presuppositions — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 00:41:30 +0000

[...] get angry in sporadic outbursts because it gives you the space you need from people. You may be a passive person because of its benefits such as the praise you receive from parents and teachers, which make you feel it is a good [...]

By: Nikhil

Nikhil — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 07:14:26 +0000

It is a very insightful article. Thanks. Now I know why some people were annoyed of me inspite of my always going out of the way to help and care for them..the plasticity approach towards my life just because of someone. Actually it was not for that someone…it was for my own need to fullfill the relational void in my life.

By: The Heart of Effective Communication: How to Love People » ToP

The Heart of Effective Communication: How to Love People » ToP — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 06:19:55 +0000

[...] actions often fail to remove the self from the action. When the self gets removed, as the person ignores his own needs or desires, they feel invaded and trampled [...]