Drugs, alcohol, energy vampires, greedy clients, persistent salespersons, and charity seekers. These are few of the many objects and people sucking your time, money, energy, focus, and life. For many reasons, however, you give in to them as you donate money, help another hour, work overtime, remain at a venue, or answer a survey.

This is not just an article to help you be assertive – it is a complete guide about the psychology of saying no. Too many people struggle to decline an offer, say they won’t help out, or reject a dangerous substance with confidence. Forces like guilt, peer pressure, and an inability to assert oneself makes people say yes, which puts them in situations they later regret. … Click to continue reading →

Posted on Wednesday, May 20, 200917 Comments

How to Read and Interpret Body Language

Discover insider tips by body language expert Kevin Hogan who shares with you the secrets to reading and interpreting body language. Click for more »

If you’re unfamiliar with the power of neuro-linguistic programming (NLP), in brief, this technology looks at how an individual’s thoughts, feelings, and actions produce the results they get right now. NLP is used for peak performance, overcoming phobias, and building unstoppable confidence to name a few of its endless applications. Because the technology is based on the mental software that runs your brain, you can use the technology to change your reality.

NLP practitioners have a set of rules known as “NLP presuppositions” that form the foundations for the technology. They are beliefs that govern NLP. The presuppositions give you the foundation to understand how you perceive the world and presents you with the opportunity to change your reality. It is not that the presuppositions have been proven, but rather they give us opportunities and freedom to produce for effective living and better communication.

While few people agree on exact NLP presuppositions, the following presuppositions, in no particular order, are the ones I have frequently stumbled upon. They appear to be widely accepted. Though the presuppositions are simple, and hence can appear idealistic, think of how they can be applied to your life to change your reality: … Click to continue reading →

Posted on Tuesday, January 6, 200910 Comments

Body Language Tricks to Make Friends in Conversations

The Big Talk Training Course is a one-of-a-kind training program that reveals how to use your body and other conversation techniques to seduce strangers into liking you. Know what to say and do in conversations. Click for more »

I just finished another midnight shift at a job I did not like. I smiled, my eyes were open, I felt good about myself. I said my usual goodbyes to a friend and sprung into my car. My friend reversed his car before I had the chance to leave my car park. He had beaten me this time. It was an unspoken game that took place each time we left work. I waited for him to get out of the way before I reversed to make my way home.

As I drove, the open car park gave me an invitation to have a little fun with my car. If landscapes could talk, this one was whispering into my ear that I should spin the wheels. “Besides, it’s late at night. No one is around and you’re feeling great. It’s an open car park with no danger. Do it!” Like a vulnerable teenager succumbing to peer pressure, I accepted the invitation.

The car became an extension of my body as it began to mimic my ecstatic mood. I put my foot down hard on the accelerator as I spun the wheel left around the first corner. As the rear tires lost their stability and the car went side-ways, I entered the next turn and spun the wheel right. The sound of screeching tires was water fertilizing my increasing smile. Smoke filled the rims of my tires and a shot of adrenaline filled my body.

Following the two consecutive drifts, I straightened the car and approached a set of traffic lights on the main road that would take me home. Had this been during the daytime, about seven cars would be in front of me before the upcoming traffic lights.

My friend who had left before me had passed through the traffic lights three seconds ago so the lights were still green. Keeping in the mood, I put my foot down on the accelerator to catch the green light. I would safely make it. I turned around the corner with a soft screech of the tires. 20 meters in front of me on the side of the road were two police officers beside their vehicle. Lucky me. … Click to continue reading →

Posted on Thursday, December 11, 200818 Comments

Let me tell you an interesting story you no doubt will relate to. One day I was walking the golf course, caddying for my older brother Nathan, a professional golfer, who was playing a regional qualifier for the Australian Open. He started the day strongly with a few shots under par, but the turning point came on the eleventh hole when he hit a bad two-iron from the tee on a par 4. Being a left-hander, he pulled the golf ball left where it ended out-of-bounds. Following that eradicate shot, his quality of play did not improve for the remainder of the day.

At the end of the round, he had failed to qualify for the national tournament by two shots. In the clubhouse where we had a drink, we talked about what he did well and what he could have done better. “I was surprised by the quality of your chip shots and game around the greens,” I remarked. “Everything went within 2 meters of the pin.” Not to concerned about the disappointed day, Nathan replied, “Yeah, you’re right. My wedge game was strong today. Just…” to which I interrupted and said, “The eleventh 2-iron.” He echoed my words, “Spot on, the eleventh 2-iron.”

I let him continue to talk as his words almost perfectly described the words in my mind. Something happened between our minds. It was like a magic trick taking place. A mystical cable connected our minds, leading to strange psychological phenomena. … Click to continue reading →

Posted on Thursday, December 4, 20089 Comments

“Getting rid of a delusion makes us wiser than getting hold of a truth.” – Karl Ludwig Borne (1786-1837)

“Myth is an attempt to narrate a whole human experience, of which the purpose is too deep, going too deep in the blood and soul, for mental explanation or description.” – David Herbert Lawrence (1885-1930), English writer who often criticized modern living’s negative influence on humans

“Few people have the imagination for reality.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832), famous German writer

Lies, deception, misunderstandings, illusions, distortions, and deceit is easier to accept than the truth. We are creatures of denial. Ignorance has a cushioning effect to soften the harshness of reality.

While you may ignore the truth because it is uncomfortable to face, other times you accept myths over truth because you don’t know the difference. A relationship expert, counselor, psychologist, or even a communication trainer may have mislead you to believe a communication myth is truth. Whatever the case maybe, this article is sure to shake up your communication beliefs and shock you into reality, allowing you to communicate more effectively. … Click to continue reading →

Posted on Monday, December 1, 20088 Comments

This is a review of Carol Fleming’s The Sound of Your Voice, an audio program created to improve your voice.

What better way to improve the quality of your voice than to listen to a speech expert teach the skills she has learned for several decades. Since 1968, Carol Fleming, a doctorate in communication disorders from Northwestern University, has ran her private speech communication consultancy in the San Francisco Bay Area. Fleming has made her vocal techniques, gathered over years of learning and teaching, available in her entertaining audio program. … Click to continue reading →

Posted on Sunday, November 23, 2008No Comments

This is a review of Renee Grant-Williams’ Voice Power: Using Your Voice to Captivate, Persuade, and Command Attention.

How do some good communicators effortlessly grab people’s attention and make them listen to each word? These attention-grabbers have mastered their voice – and now you can do the same. If your voice isn’t what you want it to be, Renee Grant-Williams in Voice Power will show you how you can make it resonate with powerful clarity. . … Click to continue reading →

Posted on Sunday, November 23, 2008No Comments

Have you ever looked at someone and instantly felt they were an interesting person? I think we all have sensed an interesting person. These people didn’t open their mouth to spark this tickle of curiosity. There is a list of characteristics about these people that I have learned to cultivate in myself that I’m going to share with you in this article – so you can be more interesting without having to say a word.

There are two aspects to communication: verbal and nonverbal communication. Because these interesting people do not say a word to make you curious about them, their interesting characteristics come from good nonverbal communication, narrowly known as body language. Nonverbal communication gives you the power to be interesting among many other benefits. … Click to continue reading →

Posted on Tuesday, November 11, 200811 Comments