On October 23, 1990, David Pologruto, a high school physics teacher, was stabbed by his smart student Jason Haffizulla. Jason was not a teenager you think would try to kill someone. He got straight A’s and was determined to study medicine at Harvard, yet this was his downfall. His physics teacher gave Jason a B, a mark Jason believed would undermine his entrance to Harvard. After receiving his B, Jason took a butcher knife to school and stabbed his physics teacher before being reprimanded in a struggle.

Two years following the incident in a New York Times article covering this story, it was reported that Jason raised his grade average to 4.614, which exceeds the perfect average of 4, by taking advanced courses. He graduated with highest honors.

How can someone as smart as Jason do something so dumb? Jason received above perfect grades and still emotionally lost himself by trying to severely wound his teacher. The answer? Smart can be dumb. Smart is not communication-dumb because studies show there is little or no correlation between IQ and emotional intelligence, but in this article we’ll look at how logical intelligence can hurt a person’s emotional life.

This article may generate controversy, but I feel I give a balanced discussion in sharing my experience, knowledge, and getting you to think deeply about the topic. Whether you are intelligent, “mentally-challenged”, or curious about this topic in understanding those smart people in your life, I am sure you will get a lot of useful advice from this article. … Click to continue reading →

Posted on Saturday, October 11, 200831 Comments

Boost Your Emotional Intelligence

Avoid these 12 communication barriers emotionally unintelligent people make that hurts their relationships... and how you can improve your communication to be relationship-smart. Click for more »

This is a book review of Dale Carnegie’s all time international classic How to Win Friends and Influence People. It is a large review with the occasional diversion from the topic because I feel it is appropriate for this classic book.

The original version of this book was written in 1937 with 5,000 copies available. Word then quickly began to spread the globe about the value contained within the book with over 16 million copies now in print. … Click to continue reading →

Posted on Thursday, October 9, 20088 Comments

What if I told you there was a secret to you being happy, attractive, popular, successful, understanding, in control, loving, and satisfied? What if you could get these benefits – plus more – by learning a single skill? It sounds almost too good to be true.

The skill that gives you these benefits is effective communication. Communication has too many benefits to list because the skill enhances many areas of one’s life. Any interaction with people or lack of it can improve with communication.

Rudyard Kipling said, “Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.” Kipling’s quote fails to fully describe communication because it is far more than words – it also incorporates nonverbal channels of communication. Imagine the powerful benefits of communication now.

Here are a list of communication benefits that tell you the what, why, and how this amazing skill will change your life: … Click to continue reading →

Posted on Friday, October 3, 20084 Comments

You arrive for a party at a friend’s house and open the front door. It seems all eyes are on you as you walk into the room. Nervous thoughts rush through your mind: “What are they thinking about me?” “Does he think I’m weird?” and “Is that person laughing at my looks?”

I frequently get asked by people how they can overcome such thoughts where they try to read someone’s mind. They want to know how they can eliminate worry over people’s judgments and thoughts in a conversation because it creates social awkwardness.

I use to have the same problem. I worried over people’s judgments of me – in conversations and in general social situations. I stand at 6’9” (206cm) and attract attention wherever I go. Some people go about their day as I walk by, while others gawk in amazement. (I don’t know if they realize it, but I’m tall and not deaf.) Thoughts such as, “Why are they looking at me like that?” destroyed my ability to socially enjoy myself until I discovered a few secrets I will share with you in this article that transformed me into a confident, happy, powerful person. … Click to continue reading →

Posted on Tuesday, September 2, 200832 Comments