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Just Be Yourself – Why It’s Bad Advice: Being Yourself is the Problem

Follow your heart, be true to yourself, everything will work out, and just be yourself. And oh, ride your unicorn over the rainbow with butterflies and fairies floating through your hair.

The most common tip you hear to be better with women and men is “just be yourself”. Jump in a forum, blog, or conversation where people discuss the secrets of making friends or attracting the opposite sex and you’ll hear the unanimous piece of advice echoed like ancient wisdom. I’ve received many emails and comments on articles like What Women Want in Men saying, “Forget everything. Just be yourself.” I manage to withhold from clicking reply and sending an angry response.

Being yourself is as useless advice as being told to “be confident”. How do you just be confident? You can’t just do it. Unless the word triggers what you need to do like “express your feelings” or “stand up straight”, being yourself is not helpful advice.

It’s time you understood this cliché and what you can do to be the best real you. Continue Reading

The Only “Cure” for Social Anxiety Disorder and Achieving Social Freedom

It’s a paradox that what got you reading this article is maintaining your problem. The word “cure” is what creates your social anxiety disorder. I cringe at saying cure in the title of this article, but it displays a breakthrough point modern therapists have discovered: attempts to remove social anxiety cause it to persist.

You’ve suffered from social anxiety disorder having tried to treat it for years. Your infatuation with anxiety and curing it go hand-in-hand. What you resist persists making problem-solving ineffective.

Watch the video above for the start of this article and the only social anxiety disorder cure

From a young age we’re tricked to believe in emotional regulation. We believe adults are mature, stable, and happy because of emotional control. “Stop crying and being a baby.” “Don’t be angry.” And of course my dreaded, “Don’t be a scaredy cat.” Emotional regulation has lead to your search here today as you try discover the cure of your social anxiety.

What are the affects of battling your anxiety? What’s the secret to better socialize and start living a meaningful life? Continue Reading

14 Social Skills Resources for an Amazing Social Life

I spend 15 minutes a day reading other people’s blogs and websites mostly for social skills resources. I then recommend these on Twitter and Facebook.

Over the past year I’ve collected some great social skills resources I’d like to share with you now. Some are from friends of mine, myself, and just others who’ve given good insight into a topic.

From improving your social skills, overcoming anxiety, and starting a conversation, all the way to ongoing conversation, being charismatic, and making people laugh, here are some great resources I recommend you read even if they take you a while to get through Continue Reading

Being an Introvert – Understand Your Introvert Personality Type in an Extrovert World

What do you think of when you hear “introvert”? Some people define introverts as loners, anti-social, party poopers, nerds, withdrawn, hermits, shy, unfriendly, and poor with social skills. These definitions are probably similar to your vision of an extreme introvert, but are fallacies.

Inaccuracies make being an introvert more of a pain than it already is to attend parties, network at events, and socialize anywhere. Introverts must understand the truth about their personality type to maximize their career, build a fun social life, do well in dating, and enjoy happy relationships. Continue Reading

What Women Want in Men

There are physical looks, personality traits, and general characteristics most women want in a man. The problem with this historical debate is the discussions focus on what women want in one of short-term relationships, friends, physical traits, marriage, or attraction. The answers in this clear guide reveal once and for all what women want in all these areas.

For men, this means you can cultivate and maintain happy friendships and intimate relationships with women. If you are already in a relationship, this is what your woman wish you already knew. Anytime you can get a woman feeling attraction, whether it be over the phone, in a business deal, or placing an order at a restaurant, you will get more out of the situation – not necessarily at the expense of her.

If you are a woman, the mysteries revealed could mean many things. You will gain a clearer understanding of what drives you as a woman in your relationships, why past relationships have failed, and even how to select a real, authentic man that is Mr Right. Continue Reading

Neuro-Linguistic Programming Presuppositions – 12 Rules to Change Your Reality

Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) looks at how an individual’s thoughts, feelings, and actions produce the results they get right now. NLP is used for peak performance, overcoming phobias, and building unstoppable confidence to name a few of its endless applications. The technology can change how you live every second because it is based on the mental software that runs your brain.

NLP practitioners have a set of rules known as “NLP presuppositions” that form the foundations for the technology. They are beliefs that govern NLP. The presuppositions give you the foundation to understand how you perceive the world and presents you with the opportunity to change your reality. It is not that the presuppositions have been proven, but rather they give us opportunities and freedom to produce for effective living and better communication.

While few people agree on exact NLP presuppositions, the following presuppositions are ones I frequently stumble upon. They appear to be widely accepted. Though the presuppositions are simple, and hence can appear idealistic, think of how they can be applied to your life to change your reality: Continue Reading

Inferiority Complex and the Self-Image

Mitchell walks into a room full of high-flying executives. He scans the room to see the executives dressed in expensive suits, sipping champagne, and mingling amongst each other. He feels “different” to the executives.

He feels less than the executives who are dressed in suits while he wears a basic business shirt and slacks. He poorly knows the executives and finds it hard to socialize with them making him feel even less as a person. Regardless of the superficial reason for his difference, the real problem is his inferiority complex. Continue Reading

5 Truths About Fear: What Fear Doesn’t Want You To Know

We fear being alone; we fear being crowded. We fear the doctor; we fear bad health. We fear the opposite sex; we fear not knowing the opposite sex. We fear making decisions; we fear not making an impact. We fear problems; we fear opportunities. We fear failure; we fear success. We fear job interviews; we fear unemployment. We fear asserting ourselves; we fear not being heard. We fear being pushed; we fear being pulled. We fear breaking up a relationship; we fear staying in the relationship. We fear meeting someone; we fear meeting no one.

Wow! Talk about an amazing list of contrasting fears! The truth about fears is they seem stupid and irrational. What fears do you have that drive you crazy?

You can fear one side of the story and the other at the same time. It is possible to simultaneously fear talking to someone new and not meeting new people because fear hides the truth. I will reveal the truth about fear to you in this article. Continue Reading

On Achieving Goals – Part 2: How to Be Self-Motivated

(If you haven’t read part one, read it here.)

Sexual arousal has some of the greatest lessons to become self-motivated. Arousal begins by thinking about someone you find attractive. Thoughts create vivid images that lead to a growing intensity of feelings. As your feelings intensify, blood flow increases to certain body parts, breathing heightens, and your skin becomes sensitive. If you continue to immerse yourself in such imagery, eventually you need to act on those feelings.

The enduring desire and process to goal achievement is the same as arousal. Thoughts lead to vivid imagery, which creates intense feelings. Soon enough you must act on those feelings because it becomes too much for you to not chase your goal. You can create an equivalent – if not more intense – desire as physical arousal to achieve what you want by continuing to read below. Continue Reading

Review of Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers

This is a book review of Susan Jeffers’ Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway: Dynamic Techniques for Turning Fear, Indecision, and Anger Into Power, Action, and Love.

No longer do you have to try a mumbo-jumbo technique, a psychological trick, or the latest dietary secret to “remove” your fears. According to Jeffers, just do the thing you fear. If reading that statement scares you, you are normal!

There’s no wonder this book has sold over 2 million copies. With fear being so common in society, Jeffers has a solution that gets you to act in the face of fear. Continue Reading