The Magical Science of Emotions: Emotional Contagion, Mirror Neurons, and the High Road to Happiness
Mirror Neurons: The Mind’s Mirror
There is a scientific explanation behind how our emotions – an experience of mind and body – transfer to somebody else. In 1980s, three Italian researchers made what is said to be one of the greatest neuroscience breakthroughs in recent times: discovering the mirror neuron. In an experiment, the three researchers had electrodes attached to a macaque monkey’s brain, which enabled the researchers to determine what movements caused the neurons to be active. As the monkey reached for food, the researchers took note of single neurons being fired.
One time when the electrodes were still attached to the monkey, the researchers grabbed a piece of food themselves, then handed it to the monkey. To their surprise, the researchers saw the monkey’s neurons fire! By accident, the researchers had discovered that when they grabbed a piece of food, the monkey had the same neurons light up as if it were picking up the food. The researchers came to name these neurons “mirror neurons” because they were like the mind’s mirror. The mirror neurons reflected what the person or monkey saw.
The finding may appear insignificant, yet the breakthrough discovery has lead to researchers better understanding autism, empathy, altruism, and general learning because mirror neurons are responsible for tuning-in to another person’s behavior. The neurons are responsible for an awareness and shared-feeling between two people. This one type of neuron is responsible for the significant role of learning, understanding, and feeling.
An amazing, almost mystical link takes place to connect the brains thanks to the mirror neuron. A signal sent from either individual in the psychological connection travels via the link to similarly affect the recipient. Hatfield says, “We reflect what they feel.”
Smile at a baby, or almost anyone for that matter, and the baby’s mirror neurons will be fired to trigger an automatic smile. That is why the age-old saying, “smiling causes the whole world to smile with you”, is true. Not only is emotional contagion a replication of another’s emotions, but it is a biological dance – a shared physical connection. It is an interlinking of mind and body.
The biological dance is an important part in group dynamics. Janice Kelly, a professor of psychological sciences at Purdue University, says emotional contagion causes people to converge into an affective homogeneous group. In other words, group members experience the same emotions overtime as their fellow members. Kelly says that people with highly expressive body language are more able to impose their emotions on others. The distinctive nonverbal signs allows individuals to pick up on the person’s emotions and become infected by their emotional state. Here we see another age-old saying, “monkey see, monkey do” proven.
Another age-old theory of staying away from toxic people – because they will pull you down with them – is now a physiological and psychological fact. Being around suppressing or uplifting people directly affects your body and mind. We were born for interaction and connection with one another. We are a social animal.
If you’ve studied self-help for a few years, you know the benefits of making friends with wealthy people if you want to be wealthy. If you want to be happy, you make friends with happy people. If you want to be confident, you make friends with confident people. If you want to be funny, you make friends with funny people. Observance creates transference.
Athletes often play their sport better after watching superior athletes excel in the same sport through the magic of transference. You come to pick up the characteristics you see in others because they infect you with their style, knowledge, and emotions. Being around people you want to be like is a secret of self-transformation to stimulate that emotional desire needed for growth.
Whether you intend to be infected by someone or not is irrelevant to mirror neurons because they are responsible for imitating other people. You do not make a choice as to what you are exposed to that causes your mirror neurons to fire; it is an automatic process. Our parents told us to avoid hanging out with the wrong people for a reason. “People are like dirt,” said the classical Greek philosopher Plato. “They can either nourish you and help you grow as a person or they can stunt your growth and make you wilt and die.” It is reality that you absorb the characteristics of people you observe.
Put yourself in a group where the individuals are depressed and you will become depressed. Put yourself in a group where the individuals blame others and you will blame others. Put yourself in a group where the individuals are prejudice against blacks and you will become prejudice against blacks. Or in my case: do something stupid on the road in front of a police officer to make him angry so you become angry.
Mirror neurons are not all bad news. In fact, they can be wonderful! Mirror neurons do not have to be the only source of influence on your mood or way of thinking. You can still be with depressed, blame-filled, or prejudiced individuals without taking on their characteristics. Therapists, social workers, and doctors are a few categories of professionals who need to work with people in the “don’t infect me with your emotional disease” category. Even so, people in such professions and positions will have a harder time in making themselves immune from emotional diseases because mirror neurons are a part of the brain every moment of life.
Even though you and I will always be around less-than-optimal people, we need to put ourselves around people who have the characteristics and emotions we want to take on. We naturally gravitate towards these people. They have a set of likable characteristics that draw us to them to bring out the best in ourselves. As Mark Twain said, “Really great people make you feel that you, too, can become great.”
The Brain’s Low Road and High Road
While emotional contagion is an important variable of the formula to become who you want to be, it is also important that you do not rely on other people to make you feel good. Letting the emotional parts of your brain (mostly the almond-shaped amygdala, which is located deeply beneath both sides of your temples) roam like a child on the street is dangerous. Neuroscientists say you can control emotional responses to a certain extent.
When our ancestors faced a dangerous predator, they had to make a quick decision, an emotional response void of time-consuming rationalization that puts the person’s life at risk. Their eyes would widen and pupils dilate to visually take in more information. They received a shot of adrenaline to increase the supply of oxygen and glucose to muscles for strength and speed. Unnecessary bodily functions like digestion became suppressed. In terms of brain functions, neurological signals detour the slow responding “high road” and take the “low road” to produce a quick response. (I recommend you grab Daniel Goleman’s Social Intelligence to better understand the neuroscience behind emotions).
In a low road response, the sensory signals bypass the cortex and go straight to the amygdala to produce a reflexive response. Going straight to the more primitive amygdala produces reflexive, unconscious decisions. Neuroscientists say these primitive parts of the brain are difficult to change.
One low road response could be your reaction to a loud bang. The ear-busting sound causes all the adrenaline responses like widened eyes, dilated pupils, increased supply of oxygen in the first few milliseconds you hear the sound. You quickly look towards the bang to rapidly calculate whether it signals danger. If you cannot see the source of the sound, you unconsciously resort to social proof by looking at people’s faces to see their reactions and how you should respond. These decisions take less than a second.
Babies are frightened by loud noises because they have yet to discover that loud noises can be safe. You would scream, cry, and sprint away from loud noises if your brain overtly emphasized the low road in everyday living. This is where the high road, a more analytical neurological path in your brain, comes in to better control your emotional responses.
The high road is a slower response path that uses the logical parts of the brain like the frontal cortex and the hippocampus (your memory) to respond appropriately to stimulus. These brain parts are vulnerable to neuroplasticity – physical changes of the brain. The brain gradually shapes itself by learning that all loud bangs are not dangerous.
After the first couple of seconds following a loud bang, your brain transitions over to the high road by analyzing the situation. While the low road is responsible for reflexive decisions beyond your control, the high road can jam a cognitive wedge in the low road to help you better adapt and survive. A cooking saucepan dropping on the hard kitchen floor does not trigger you to bash on a neighbor’s door for help.
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Update: What Christmas present did you get for yourself? You can tell me ;-) None for me this year.
It was a great experience going through this amazing stuff.
. I have raised my temper threshold now. 
. And I started cracking jokes in stressful situations, which helped in my professional life 
.
I have been happier since I started to control my mirror neurons. And yes I have been a little successful in controlling my anger. I was very short tempered
It’s as if you knew I needed this article!! Yesterday, after yet ANOTHER shouting match about basically nothing with my boyfriend and soulmate, who I love with all my heart, I decided I’d come to work today and Google “suppressing negative emotions” or “how to become less sensitive” or maybe “the last resort after shouting back, then apologizing, then crying, then giving the silent treatment, then scrubbing the kitchen counter, then apologizing again…” I think you have provided some awesome tools which I am sure to put to use, but hopefully not too soon!
Hi Josh,
Your articles do help in creating a better environment at home and work place. Thanks for the same.
Hi Josh,
This article is a classic. The techniques mentioned, when coupled with good body language techniques can deliver great results. However, I would love to have your opinion on this: Do you think that when one makes an effort to bring another person out of their negative emotional state, they are risking bringing their own emotional state down? especially, if the person hasn’t yet mastered some of these techniques? Therefore, the decision whether one wants to use their skills to change someone else’s state or withdraw from the situation, should depend on how good a relationship the two people share?
Ash, absolutely. In order to bring someone out of their negative emotional state, it’s helpful to enter into their state – which is what the emotional-leveling technique is all about. If you haven’t mastered the technique, then I think you are more vulnerable to remaining in a destructive state.
As for your last question regarding who you should use the technique on, because the technique can be time-consuming and emotionally draining, I use it only on people I care for. The two of you may have a not-so-good relationship, but if you care for the person or the relationship, use the technique. Remember to let people feel their emotions though.
Dear Josh!!
I read your article on emotions, it was more than ethereal. I am reading your articles regularly, your research has made me your fan and i have felt wonderful personal development.
Keep it up and thanks
Wats up Josh,
You are really great and amazing, I have used your articles to help some friends of mine in their marriages and people are really getting on well. For me you have been a blessing, thanks big time.
You’ve really a God gifted talent to write these type of very professional and useful articles Joshua.
I’m really impressed by your articles and am applying these all in my real life and am feeling a very beautiful change in my professional and personal life.
Wish you very best of luck for your future articles Joshua..
I absolutely love you and this site. I used to be, sometimes still are, a depressed person and always made people around me irritated. Now I’m more like when I was young and shone brighter than the sun, and everyday I become more and more happy and people around me notice that. I hope that I can be a great light in people’s lives and affect them the way you affect me. You really saved me. I love you.