Navigate / search

Two masks in public

Just Be Yourself – Why It’s Bad Advice: Being Yourself is the Problem

Follow your heart, be true to yourself, everything will work out, and just be yourself. And oh, ride your unicorn over the rainbow with butterflies and fairies floating through your hair.

The most common tip you hear to be better with women and men is “just be yourself”. Jump in a forum, blog, or conversation where people discuss the secrets of making friends or attracting the opposite sex and you’ll hear the unanimous piece of advice echoed like ancient wisdom. I’ve received many emails and comments on articles like What Women Want in Men saying, “Forget everything. Just be yourself.” I manage to withhold from clicking reply and sending an angry response.

Being yourself is as useless advice as being told to “be confident”. How do you just be confident? You can’t just do it. Unless the word triggers what you need to do like “express your feelings” or “stand up straight”, being yourself is not helpful advice.

It’s time you understood this cliché and what you can do to be the best real you. Read more

Boy anxiously looks onwards

Inferiority Complex and the Self-Image

Mitchell walks into a room full of high-flying executives. He scans the room to see the executives dressed in expensive suits, sipping champagne, and mingling amongst each other. He feels “different” to the executives.

He feels less than the executives who are dressed in suits while he wears a basic business shirt and slacks. He poorly knows the executives and finds it hard to socialize with them making him feel even less as a person. Regardless of the superficial reason for his difference, the real problem is his inferiority complex. Read more

Double Your Dating

Review of Double Your Dating by David DeAngelo

This is my review of a popular ebook for guys in the dating world by David DeAngelo, titled Double Your Dating: What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women (Second Edition).

David DeAngelo starts by letting you know his Double Your Dating ebook is not an encyclopedia, but a reference to being successful with women. It is not intended to be a complete resource on how men can attract women. It is a mighty fine start. You get strong foundations any guy must know in order to become successful with women and dating. Read more

The New Psycho-Cybernetics

Review of The New Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz

This is a book review of Dr. Maxwell Maltz’s The New Psycho-Cybernetics: The Original Science of Self-Improvement and Success That Has Changed the Lives of 30 Million People.

Maxwell Maltz became a plastic surgeon in the 1920’s and successfully changed people’s physical appearance for decades. In his private New York practice he operated on people like well-known celebrities from around the world. People entered Maltz’s practice with poor perceptions of themselves as they underwent operation in hope to look and feel like a new person.

Some clients following their operations left Dr. Maltz’s practice feeling happy with the surgery he performed. Other times, patients left feeling unhappy even after a successful surgery. It wasn’t too long until Dr. Maltz operated on them again to correct another “wrong feature” of their body. Dr. Maltz became curious. Read more