Each author has not written a ground-breaker. I think you can summarize 75% of all the books onto 1 page. You could say this post is a cliffs notes version of 158,000 books. Give yourself the lazy education of reading such an impossible number of words.

The 12 lessons are tips from the top self-help books covering topics from women, depression, relationships, and psychology. I have yet to read a popular self-help book that makes no mention of the below lessons. You may be surprised as you realize how frequently you hear the echoed advice.

1. You decide how you feel

People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.Abraham Lincoln

You are the one who can turn that frown upside down. No one else can do it for you. If you feel like trash right now because your dog bit you, you can make yourself feel great. But if you feel trashy a day after your dog bite, you might want to get checked for rabies…

2. Model the successful

Being a role model is the most powerful form of educating… too often fathers neglect it because they get so caught up in making a living they forget to make a life.John Wooden

Simple and effective. It just makes sense that by modelling a person’s actions you become like them. The self-help lesson became big in the 80s by Tony Robbins when he brought NLP to the common man. NLP breaks down what a successful leader in any field does into traits and steps for a layman to adopt.

3. Like attracts like

Our life is what our thoughts make it.Marcus Aurelius

If you want something, become what you want. Similarly, the law of attraction says we attract what we think about. Visualize your desired reality to bring it to fruition. The popular self-improvement tip has been around for centuries in various forms and books like Think and Grow Rich!.

4. Be present

Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.Oprah Winfrey

Move your focus out of the past to stop worry and out of the future to stop anxiety. With presence comes a calm collection of thoughts and feelings. Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now is the authority piece on presence.

5. Leave your comfort zone

The superior man thinks always of virtue; the common man thinks of comfort.Confucius

…some lessons we need to hear over and over again.

Any lesson on fear, anxiety, growth, and human evolution teaches you to expand your comfort zone. I like to use my feelings of discomfort as a flag of growth. Do the same. Know that by stepping outside your zone as you become uncomfortable, you will not be who you were. Get good insight into fear by reading the 5 truths of fear.

6. Don’t procrastinate

You may delay, but time will not.Benjamin Franklin

So procrastination is bad. Hmm, really? Bet you never heard that before. Set goals, create a to-do list, skip activities that add no value, then work on what matters to get what you want.

7. Be responsible

If your ship doesn’t come in, swim out to meet it!Jonathan Winters

When you step up in your life by taking responsibility for what you potentially influence, great things happen. You are responsible for sitting at home on your computer wallowing in self-pity. You are the reason for not making that nervous-inducing phone call to get the job.

Some take responsibility too far always seeking to assign blame. A woman can be made to feel responsible, guilty, and ashamed for being raped. Dangerous. Take responsibility for what you can affect.

8. You are unique

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.Alison Boulter

You are special. Sounds corny to me. I prefer to hear about pixies and unicorns. What I teach that you may find more helpful is to create self-to-self comparisons rather than self-to-other comparisons. This means compare who you are now to who you were. As a result you stop feeling worthless from not being that muscle head with millions in his pocket and babes hanging off his arms.

Your beginnings are too different to pit yourself against everyone. An inferiority complex happens when you compare yourself to others.

9. Enjoy yourself

Not what we have but what we enjoy, constitutes our abundance.Epicurus

Take a break, have fun. I don’t know how books can be written on this idea alone. I’ve said enough.

10. Appreciate life

He is richest who is content with the least, for content is the wealth of nature.Socrates

The self-help tip is also taught as being grateful for what you have. In every problem is an opportunity. When there is a crest, nearby is a peak. I doubt you can attribute that quote to me, but you’re welcome to.

11. Use positive self-talk

Self-suggestion makes you master of yourself.W. Clement Stone

Replace negative self-talk with chat that benefits you. Change “I can’t do this” to “I can do this”. Action then good feelings flow from empowering self-talk. I like Theodore Bryant’s take on positive self-talk in his book Self-Discipline in 10 Days. He calls them “Vitaminds” – vitamins for the mind. To benefit from vitaminds you need to take them regularly in conjunction with other useful tips revealed in this article.

12. Visualize what you want

Vision is the art of seeing what is invisible to others.Jonathan Swift

Visualization is a commonly recommended technique with positive self-talk. It is becoming increasingly popular in therapy as psychologists use imagery to not only work through problems, but change behavior. The basic aim is to see in your mind what you want. Advanced visualization incorporates sight with taste, smell, touch, and sound of having achieved your goal.

4 Warnings Before You Read Another Article

You now know what you’d remember from reading 158,000 self-help books. Should you never read one again?

Consider this: “People often say that motivation doesn’t last.” said the late motivational speaker Zig Ziglar. “Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.”

Not only is motivation temporary, but some lessons we need to hear over and over again. Take for example the lesson “you decide how you feel”. I need to remind myself that often – even when I teach it! If I feel like **** from a bad week, the circumstances can make me forget so hearing the lesson helps.

…this article is a generalization.

Think about this second point when improving yourself: understanding a topic makes you lose respect for it. Now, this is not always the case. Try learn how a CPU works and you will respect the technology. When you summarize something, its mysteries sink away. You may resent something that once seemed grand. Continue to love working on yourself even when you know the summary of top self-help books.

A third point to consider when taking in self-help is common knowledge often gets passed down generations because it has repeatedly benefited earlier generations. Then again, I could be wrong. It is possible we just believe the psychological equivalent of the world is flat.

Consider a fourth point: this article is a generalization. You may be filled with shock and anger at the concept of self-help. You then assume any such book described by these 12 pieces of advice is useless. Don’t get biased. There’s plenty of books I’ve reviewed and written that have changed my life and ToP subscribers.

What do you think of this summary of self-help books? Do they match your experiences?

For an insider look under the blanket of self-help and how it almost killed me, you can learn more about the myths of self-help.

My video review of the book along with tonnes of special tips and samples you won’t get anywhere else. Be sure to turn up your volume to at least half.

Why You Need to Download it Now

I’ve been shy and lonely like Paul, and know the journey to transformation is scary but Get the Friends You Want makes it fun and effective.

In the caveman days you needed your tribe to hunt animals, kill predators, and protect your family. You could not do all this at once without friends. Today you can live from your computer safe inside an apartment. Does this mean friends are pointless today? You and I know, that is a miserable life.

You need to make friends if you want a great life. Without connections, your opinions get ignored. You are passed up for job promotions. A lack of friends means you miss social activities, solutions to problems from information-sharing, and chances to date someone attractive. Of course, if you have good friends, you have more fun. It may feel unfair and it’s reality.

One common lesson in the book is the irrationality of people when we socialize. We hang out with some people and not others because of survival, replication, status, thrills, approval, and love. We judge others within seconds because there is not enough time to “understand” 7 billion people on Earth. You can complain about this and get nowhere.

Paul says you are rejected or accepted relative to the value you give or fail to give. You can give high value by being popular (allowing friends to make friends), having status (to lift their status), and through other means like creating good emotions in others (where you are fun, ambitious, and positive). Everything you learn in Get the Friends You Want teaches you how to overcome shyness, be fun, and make conversation so you are more valuable than ever.

…you are rejected or accepted relative to the value you give or fail to give.

You are not shown superficial ways to make friends. From reading the book I learned that physical isolation is being alone while social isolation is being lonely. That is why you can feel lonely at work. Social and emotional connection makes loneliness disappear. You learn how to really connect with people without shallowness or manipulation taught in pick-up ebooks or most conversation courses.

That’s why I encourage you to download your copy of the book by clicking here.

Part 1: Overcoming Loneliness, Shyness, and Social Anxiety

It is a weird journey transforming your social life. Fortunately for you, Paul has been there. He was lonely until he transformed then put everything he knew about making amazing friends into the book. You are taken by the hand shown how to safely handle all the change you are about to encounter to create the social life you want.

Once you learn how handle beat loneliness and shyness you’re given step-by-step techniques like “how to use beliefs to unwire shyness from your brain”. Whenever you think of a harmful belief like “People don’t like me”, say it in the voice of a duck. The belief weakens. Say an empowering belief like “People who get to know me, love me” in a deep voice of someone you idolize. This strengthens the belief. Pretty cool trick. You get four “brain toys” that are fun ways to make you feel confident and social.

I loved the tip to handle a party invitation when you’re anxious: accept the invite, but say you can only stay 30 minutes for a reason. This encourages you to attend the party, makes you more comfortable, and allows you to leave if things get too much.

Part 2: Conversation and Social Skills

This part reveals how to master conversation and social skills. You learn how to find common ground, discover conversational hooks you want to talk about, and keep a conversation going. The two lessons about saying what’s on your mind and talking about yourself are powerful. Many other easy-to-use techniques exist so you forever keep a good conversation going.

There’s 6 rules of a cool person, ways to be funny, guidelines to talk with passion, and 44 socially awkward behaviors to avoid. I contacted Paul, the author, and he let me share some with you:

1. Being too different. Be unique, yes. But, if you act and look way too different, people won’t be able to relate to you.

2. Not making eye contact. It’s like you’re hiding something. You should make eye contact often.

3. Standing too close or too far. Too close means you don’t respect others’ physical space. Too far means you want to put a distance between you and the people you’re talking to.

4. Sharing too much personal information, too soon. That should be shared gradually as the friendship deepens.

5…

44. Taking the victim role. Never victimize yourself to get attention. Leave that for the social skills amateurs. If you have a conflict, just say that you don’t get along with the person. Don’t flame them.

Part 3: Making Friends and Building a Social Circle

The final part teaches you how make friends and build a social circle. By the time you finish reading this third section, you will know exactly what to complete each week to meet new people. This section is jammed with practical ways to build a social circle.

I followed the easy advice of how to use Meetup.com and Facebook to meet nice people without wasting time online and already made new friends. That was good, but the tip I liked more is when you set plans with people you know little about, pick a place that:

1. Allows you to talk
2. Alleviates the pressure of conversation through music or some entertainment

This makes it easy to have good conversation even if you are bad at talking with strangers.

Is this book for you? It is if you are shy, lonely, or struggle to make conversation with people you don’t know. As you just saw, you’ll be a more confident and social person by the time you finished reading.

If you’re lucky and really smart, you probably could figure it out all on your own with about 15 years of testing and frustrations. You have no time for that though.

No other course teaches you what you learn in Get the Friends You Want. You get a complete system to build a social life. The book is unavailable in stores, but you can download it and be reading it within 5 minutes from now. I highly encourage you to order the book now by clicking here.

Covey’s book has sold over 15 million copies for a reason: It ignores trends and popular psychology, and sticks with enduring principles of lasting change. His seven principles build a lasting foundation for truth, openness, and integrity. The principles are timeless – unchanging to events – that make the book the personal development favorite of many self-help experts.

The first three principles are: 1) be proactive, 2) begin with the end in mind, and 3) put first things first. These first three principles deal with dependence as the author moves you through new paradigms.

The first principle moves you from blame and victimization to responsibility. The second principle moves you from destructive centeredness and obsessions to a healthy focus and clear values. While the third principles deals with the “fourth generation” of time management where you learn to do what matters most instead of following to-do lists and doing frivolous tasks that contribute little to your life and other’s lives.

The second lot of three principles (four to six) deal with interdependency. The second triplet of principles are self-explanatory: 4) think win/win, 5) seek first to understand, then to be understood, and 6) synergize. These three principles are more like communication skills as the first three principles provide you the foundation to use them.

It is sad to see many people ignore these principles. As a result, their relationships suffer and people resent them. Any success they get is short-term, unsatisfactory, and often lonely.

Covey emphasizes that effective people are interdependent on others. While they are independent and strong in their own right, when they use the three principles for interdependence, the sum of people’s work is more than the individual parts.

Many personal development public speakers, authors, life coaches, and organizational trainers say the book is the best they ever read.

The last principle is called “sharpen the saw”. It deals with renewal in the physical, mental, social/emotional, and spiritual dimensions. Just as a blunt saw becomes tiresome for a woodcutter, a failure to renew in these four dimensions result in unproductive and sometimes destructive living for the exasperated individual. When the four dimensions are renewed, the seventh principle of “sharpen the saw” is followed to encapsulate the other six principles. It is in such ways that all the principles feed from one another.

The last point I want to emphasize to encourage you to invest in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People if you have not already done so is the character ethic Covey focuses on. Most books today focus on the personality ethic. A personality ethic deals with attitudes, behaviors, skills, and the techniques for human interaction. While the personality ethic is important, without the character ethic that offers courage, patience, and integrity, long-term success is inhibited. The establishment of a strong character ethic creates change from the inside-out.

You must get the book. Many personal development public speakers, authors, life coaches, and organizational trainers say the book is the best they ever read. I highly encourage you to grab your copy of Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People now from Amazon right now by clicking here today.

Savoy is not the author’s real name, but a pen name, like what most guys (especially the teachers) have in the seduction community to protect their identity. Savoy is CEO of Love Systems, a corporation of dating instructors who teach guys how to meet, attract, and keep women. Magic Bullets ebook is the main product they offer as it provides the framework and concepts they teach in their bootcamps around the world.

If you’ve read the New York Times best seller The Game, you know a little about this new field where guys learn how to be more successful with women and dating from the book’s main character, Mystery. Mystery Method was that original corporation where Mystery – arguably the world’s greatest pick-up artist – owned the company. Since then, Mystery has left the company, which was later renamed to Love Systems.

In my review of The Game by Neil Strauss, I wrote a little about how the book provides several tips, and many insights, into the pick-up process. This is integrated in with an entertaining narration style of writing, which is why I’m assuming it was a New York Times best seller – that and the fact it revealed the intriguing pick-up community to the general public. The techniques and concepts in Magic Bullets describe the foundations used by the world’s best pick-up artists in The Game. Parts of the Love System’s seduction model has evolved over the years into a more reliable description of the seduction process.

The greatest part about this new model taught in Magic Bullets is the second phase (transition) because this determines if the relationship moves forward or ends quicker than it started. Any guy who can open (the first phase) knows that opening is easy once he can overcome approach anxiety. The barrier in the past for guys has been figuring out what happens after you open. It’s easy to use a canned opener like asking for an opinion, but what do you do to transition and move forward in the relationship? What do you say that doesn’t seem like a big “jump” from your opener to your conversation topic? The transition phase in the book’s model is the answer to this problem.

The model in the book which forms the basis of Love Systems is:

1. Opening
2. Transitioning
3. Attraction
4. Qualification
5. Comfort
6. Seduction
7. Relationships

If you have experience in the seduction community, you know the whole seduction process is a structured framework (your understanding of it may be a little different to the one above). The model provides a step-by-step guide of the entire process. Every intimate relationship goes through the model – almost always unconsciously unless you consciously understand the steps. The steps tell you exactly what you must do and when to catalyze the seduction process while having it under your control. All this ultimately means you can quickly build relationships with women you find attractive.

The steps tell you exactly what you must do and when to catalyze the seduction process while having it under your control.

If you grab your copy of Magic Bullets, you learn more about each step within the seven phases and no longer be clueless when you have an unsuccessful pick-up. You will continually improve yourself and your skills so you are better in your next approach. If you take this seriously, you can ultimately become like many experienced students of Love Systems who can have almost any woman they want. The instructors from Love Systems have learned and experienced seduction for years so you are sure to learn a lot from their expertise.

The book is nicely divided into four parts: introduction, emotional progression model, context, and skills. Here is more detail of the book’s table of contents:

I’m pretty sure Savoy said the book was originally 500 pages. What a whopper that would have been. Fortunately, it was condensed down to approximately 200 pages with the magical use of many to-the-point bullets. (That’s not the reason for the book’s name, but there’s an interesting fact.) The chunk of bullets means there is much jam-packed information. It is called Magic Bullets because, ironically, there is no magic bullet – an ultimate guaranteed solution – to successfully attract and hold onto a woman. The book is the closest thing to a “magic bullet”.

If you want a book that teaches you how to approach, attract, pick-up, and date more women in your life, Magic Bullets is your solution. It is a leader in the seduction community for one reason: it works. Thousands of guys have transformed themselves from being frozen stone-cold when approaching a woman to being “the man” in a nightclub and social situations in the day.

I highly recommend you grab your copy right now. It isn’t free, but the investment is worth it if you want to feel good around women. It is an ebook you can download and be reading within five minutes by clicking here today.

Greene takes you back centuries when Marie Antoinette become the French Queen and was later decapitated, and Machiavelli charmed the court to his way of thinking. From nationwide victories to intimate seductions and lies of alchemy, Greene has written a masterpiece that deduces 48 laws of power from past powerful individuals and the not so powerful.

Greene is author of three savvy books covering seduction, war, and power. His interest in topics others overlook because they appear greedy, manipulative, and condescending have caused people to frown upon his work. On the “opposite side” of his reviewers are people greatly thankful for his teachings on the power, manipulation, and the seduction games that take place regardless of one’s liking towards the topics.

The 48 Laws of Power is divided into 48 chapters. It starts off with a fascinating discussion in the preface on the arguments many people have against power. The author says many people think power is immoral or unfairly differentiates people. It would be unfair for all people to have equal power because each of us are unique and have different skill sets. People who unconsciously use moralistic arguments against power, openness, and attempts to be fair, actually further their own power or bring someone else’s power down. Robert Greene goes on to say:

To some people the notion of consciously playing power games – no matter how indirect – seems evil, asocial, a relic of the past. They believe they can opt out of the game by behaving in ways that have nothing to do with power. You must beware of such people… they are often among the most adept players at power.

Power games are inevitable. I won’t say that all 48 laws are useful in all your relationships because power isn’t everything, but many underestimate the importance of power in everyday living. From personal relationships to dealing with customers, more power benefits you – and when you use it correctly, it benefits the relationship. Thinking otherwise uses the same moralistic arguments Greene discusses in the preface. Even so, some laws of power seemed harsh to me, but this is the reality of power and I accept it. Power isn’t meant to be pretty. We are talking about power; not a book about fairies.

Whether you want to learn how to charm people or to achieve your goals, there is so much to learn from the history in The 48 Laws of Power. The historical research within the book is phenomenal. The author and his team of researchers have dug through many books on history to provide hundreds of stories about users of the laws of power. The reader is given insights into powerful historical greats like Sun Tzu, con artist Joseph “Yellow Kid” Weil, and seducer Casanova.

With the large number of references to Niccolo Machiavelli and Baltasar Gracian, I assume these were Robert Greene’s primary figures of authority from which he developed most of his principles. Even if you have little interest in history, like myself, you will still find the stories interesting. The stories in each chapter show how the discussed law of power was used to increase power and when it was disobeyed to decrease power. An “interpretation” section is provided after each observance and transgression of the law to help you understand the interpersonal dynamics and power games played by those in the story. The author’s interpretation of the story provides a great way of understanding the keys to power and adapting the principles to your everyday life.

The historical research within the book is phenomenal.

At the chapter’s end, I found the images Greene paints with a vivid statement to be influential. Here’s one example of an image used for law 20 (Do not commit to anyone): “A Thicket of Shrubs. In the forest, one shrub latches on to another, entangling its neighbor with its thorns, the thicket slowly extending its impenetrable domain. Only what keeps its distance and stand apart can grow and rise above the thicket.”

Initially it may appear some rules contradict each other such as law 15 (Crush your enemy totally) and law 47 (Do not go past the mark you aimed for; in victory, learn when to stop) as well as law 16 (Use absence to increase respect and honor) and law 18 (Do not build fortresses to protect yourself – isolation is dangerous), but they are not contradictory. Discussing the latter, absence and maintaining a connection with people have their own uses in specific circumstances. Be flexible and use common sense to determine each law’s application. Each law has a context for its application.

Most of the pages within the book have fables, quotes, and small interesting stories that “distill three thousand years of the history of power.” Anecdotes line one side of the pages to nicely complement the chapter’s discussion. At a large 450 pages, the book mimics a textbook. You can expect to discover many great techniques to increase your power, stop yourself from being manipulated by others, and get what you want. Securely grab your copy now from Amazon by clicking here today.

You’ve been to told to see the glass half full, but how do you do it? How can you reinterpret worries, fears, disagreements, interpersonal conflict, anger, and misunderstandings to empower you, instead of disempower you? L. Michael Hall and Bobby G. Bodenhamer in Mind-Lines show you exactly how with the magical neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) technique of reframing that shows a new way of living through interpretation.

How you interpret events determines how you feel and behave. Most people, unfortunately, use harmful interpretations. A father sees his son watch television while laying on his bed. The father gives his son’s behavior a meaning of “laziness”. As a result, the father starts criticizing his son out of the lazy frame. There’s another father and son in the same scenario. This other father gives his son’s behavior a meaning of “relaxation” then lets him be.

The premise of reframing is the world has no meaning by itself. What you see around you means nothing until you give it meaning. “By mind-lines we refer to the lines (the linguistic constructions) that we connect and associate to things that create meaning formulas,” write Hall and Bodenhamer. “By the changing of meaning, our emotions change, as do our behaviors, habits, moods, attitudes, skills, health, etc. and our life.” You become empowered to transform your world when you see that you give “reality” its meaning.

Each of us has what the authors call a “map”. Our map is our understanding of reality that provide us with a direction in this world. The map is only a construct of reality (a NLP presupposition); it’s not reality itself. Mind-Lines will have you analyze your map, see its many faults, then help you construct a healthier one for your mental, emotional, and physical wellbeing. The same lines used on yourself can be used in your communication with others to change their behaviors, habits, moods, attitudes, skills, health, and life.

You become empowered to transform your world when you see that you give ‘reality’ its meaning.

In the fifth edition of Mind-Lines exists 26 reframing techniques. These 26 reframes are conceptualized in the meta-model, a model introduced in part one of the book to illustrate how the reframing methods fit together. I found myself overwhelmed at the beginning of the book as the first of four parts focuses on the meta-model theory of reframing. Once I finished reading part one, however, I realized the foundational material gave me the framework to understand and more easily use the 26 reframes discussed in part two.

When you read this book, if you have a similar experience, don’t let this small hurdle block you from experiencing the book’s power. The majority of the book will be understandable for everyone. It will just take more time than your average self-help book to read.

It is a practical book. All 26 reframes get applied to six specific statements plus many additional statements scattered throughout the chapters. The authors encourage you to try each reframe on the six provided statements, then compare your answers to the authors’ answers. I encourage you to apply your limiting beliefs to each reframing technique to feel the magic of instant change in how you view problems.

To give you an idea of how reframing is used and its power, here is an example of positive prior intention framing, the eighth reframe. The foundation under positive prior intention framing is that every behavior has a positive intention behind it. Even hurtful behaviors contain a hidden positive intent, which you sometimes must dig for to discover. A positive intention reframe in response to, “I hate it when you treat me badly” could be, “It’s good to hear that you want to be treated well. What can I do to treat you better?” This is a drastic and powerful change to a reply of, “I DON’T treat you badly! You’re the one who is mean to me!” that most people would use.

Here’s an example of criteria and values framing, the fourteenth reframing technique. This reframing techniques puts into perspective what the person deems important. You give people, or yourself, motive to change. A criteria and values reframe in response to, “You’re rude for not washing the dishes” could be, “When you tell me I’m rude for not washing the dishes, it hurts me. Is our relationship more important than the dishes? If so, would you prefer to tell me to do the dishes without hurting our relationship?” What a wonderful example of reframing a person’s behavior.

Another interesting aspect of the book is something called a “meta-state”, a term that describes a state about a state. For example, you can be angry about being stressed. Our meta-states get multi-layered and confusing. Let’s say you experience guilt from hurting your partner. You then wrap the guilt with anger by becoming angry about the guilt. The anger leads to depression about the anger. The methods in this book allows you to overpower “lower levels” with “higher levels” that give you more productivity, efficiency, a better mood, relieve stress, and generally anything else that is beneficial for you.

I have experienced the NLP technique of reframing in changing my behaviors, moods, and fears – as well as helping other people change themselves. I feel it is more powerful than other NLP techniques like the swish pattern. Knowing how to reframe is a skill for life you can use anywhere at anytime to improve yourself or another person. Mind-Lines is helpful for your personal development and relationships with everyone as it changes everyone’s perception of reality. It is a great book that teaches a great technique.

The little price of the book is nothing when you consider everything you experience in this world depends on how you frame it.

The six pages straight after the preface titled “Mind-lining a Toxic Idea”, is worth a thousand times the book itself. I say this with confidence that reading those six pages will change your life. In those six pages, the 26 reframing techniques are applied to “failure”. The word “failure” will be eliminated from your life for good if you apply the simple reframes – but it doesn’t stop there. The reframes will not only cancel limiting feelings and thoughts towards failure, but the reframes transform the concept of failure into a power energy source for better behavior, mood, skills, and health. Is living a life without failure and misery important to you? Imagine the happiness and success you would experience when failure isn’t even a concept in your life? (Notice the reframes I just used.)

To finish this in-depth review, I want to use the mind-line of story-telling. There was a poor illiterate man who lived isolated in the woods. One day while walking through the woods he stumbled across a piece of paper that looked like a map. It was written in Chinese with a few strange diagrams he could not understand. He was confused with its meaning and threw away the paper. Years later, a Chinese tourist visited the area and found the same map. With a scream of excitement, the tourist realized he stumbled upon an ancient Chinese document. The tourist sold his discovery to a collector for a large amount of money.

The map is your understanding of reality. It can give you more things than wealth if you pay attention to it. Learn to alter your map to empower yourself to change yours and people’s behaviors, habits, moods, attitudes, skills, and health. I know you want what is best for yourself and your relationships, so I recommend you grab a copy of Michael Hall and Bobby Bodenhamer’s Mind-Lines: Lines for Changing Minds. The little price of the book is nothing when you consider everything you experience in this world depends on how you frame it. You can grab your copy of the book now from Amazon today by clicking here.

If you’ve ever felt the need to have an important conversation, but couldn’t bring yourself to it, this book is for you. Author Susan Scott details the exact methods for the conversations we know will change our life, but we procrastinate having usually because of fear. It’s important to overcome whatever barriers we face in communication because a conversation is not about the relationship – it is the relationship.

What is a Fierce Conversation?

When people see the word “fierce”, they may think pain, tough, or brutality. As written on the book’s cover, “fierce” means robust, intense, strong, powerful, passionate, eager, and unbridled. A “fierce conversation” brings authenticity into your life as you communicate who you are and what you believe.

Fierce Conversations will get you to have the most important conservation you can have with someone, right now. Fierce Conversations will be especially helpful to you if you have trouble: expressing yourself, talking with others who have trouble expressing themselves, dealing with passive-aggressive people, or resolving an ignored issue people know exists. After all, if you want someone or something to change, you need to initiate the change. If something bothers you, you need to be the one who does something about it.

Whether through fear of hurting a person, receiving retaliation, or someone pointing out our mistakes, we delay the conversations we need to experience. The problem comes down to how we present ourselves to others in conversations and how we think when we are by ourselves. All conversations are within yourself and some are with others.

The Lessons You Discover

It is the book’s purpose to achieve four outcomes: interrogate reality, provoke learning, tackle tough challenges, and enrich relationships. These are achieved through the following 7 principles of fierce conversations:

1. Master the Courage to Interrogate Reality
2. Come Out from Behind Yourself into the Conversation and Make It Real
3. Be Here, Prepared to Be Nowhere Else
4. Tackle Your Toughest Challenge Today
5. Obey Your Instincts
6. Take Responsibility for Your Emotional Wake
7. Let Silence Do the Heavy Lifting

As a consultant for Fortune 500 companies, Scott leans the book’s examples of principles and models, towards business communication. If someone has communication problems at work, however, Scott says the same problems likely show up in their personal lives so the book is just as applicable to personal communication. We need to have fierce conversations with family members, spouses, students, and friends; not only with those we share a business relationship.

We delay the conversations we need to experience.

Scott gives you a series of simple and practical exercises to do at the end of each chapter to help you use the chapter’s communication skills. She also provides insightful scenarios of her experience with clients’ use of communication models and their notable improvements from the change.

Be warned: Fierce Conversations is no emotional walk in the park. You’re forced to face hard questions about your reality. “It takes a certain fearlessness to make your private thoughts public,” writes Scott. “But if what you’re thinking makes you squirm and wish to wriggle away, you are probably onto something.”

If you choose to awaken to the truth by beginning a fierce conversation, communication opens up to improve your relationships. You will talk about what everyone pretends to not know. Don’t miss having one conversation that could change your life. Achieve success at work and in life, one conversation at a time by getting your copy of Susan Scott’s Fierce Conversations directly from Amazon.com today by clicking here.

(You may also want to read Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen’s Difficult Conversations for another source of tips to have the conversations you avoid. Both books provide good tips, but lack the psychology and fear of talking about tough issues. Because I never could find a book that explained this problem, I wrote a course that shows how I solved my fears of conversations, which shy persons around the world use to conquer their fears. To understand the deep psychology of fear in social situations, read the first chapter of my program Big Talk.)

Related Media Links

1. Video and audio links – Links on the Fierce Incorporated website with Susan Scott.
2. Companies, careers built or lost one conversation at time – An article published in a Seattle newspaper by Susan Scott discussing how conversations, one by one, shape our lives.

What better way to improve your voice quality than to listen to a speech expert teach the skills she learned for several decades. Carol Fleming has a doctorate in communication disorders from Northwestern University. She has ran her private speech communication consultancy since 1968 in the San Francisco Bay Area. Fleming has made her vocal techniques, gathered over years of learning and teaching, available in her entertaining audio program.

You can buy books to improve your voice, such as Renee Grant-Williams’ Voice Power, but until you hear a good voice and become capable of breaking it into specific reasons why it’s good, you’ll hope your voice is good. It is vital to know a good voice when you hear one and understand the qualities of a good voice then transfer this understanding into your voice through practical exercises – all steps covered in The Sound of Your Voice.

The program isn’t a boring dictation of a book. It is an entertaining, well-produced, free-flowing program. Fleming is the primary speaker accompanied by Wesley, a Brit with a soothing accent. I’m not particularly fond of British accents, having an Australian one myself “mate”, yet it is enjoyable to hear the two talk about speaking. The program is not two people conversing about talking – it is a great program that contains real-life examples, entertaining sounds, and many speakers with diverse voice qualities that Fleming dissects. It is a lively program.

It is an entertaining, well-produced, free-flowing program.

You won’t be caught in technicalities when doing the program. It is a simple and effective program taught by Fleming who knows how to breakdown vocal complexities into layman’s term after her decades of experience teaching vocalics. The program will show you:

• How to add vocal vitality to your voice so you are not boring. Men especially struggle to remove their monotone voice and speak with vitality.
• How to speak in a powerful, mature manner. While men struggle with a monotone voice, women sometimes struggle to convey power in their voice.
• How to eliminate or change your accent. (There are examples of students in the program who remove their accents by making simple adjustments.)
• Breathing exercises to support your voice.
• How to remove annoying content from your speech like filler words and superlatives.
• How to speak clearly and smoothly articulate each word.
• What to do to get your voice ready for speaking.
• And plenty more.

The vocal exercises in the program took my voice to the next level. I have always struggled to understand resonance and getting my voice to vibrate clearly from the front of mouth for better articulation, and a simple exercise helped me do just that.

Carol Fleming’s The Sound of Your Voice is the way to improve your voice. It is the best voice program I’ve come across. You can grab your copy from Amazon by clicking here today.

UPDATE: A year after this review, I was fortunate to have Carol Fleming write an article for you about improving your voice. Read “5 Steps to Develop a Charming Voice”.

How do some good communicators effortlessly grab people’s attention and make them listen to each word? These attention-grabbers have mastered their voice – and now you can do the same. If your voice isn’t what you want it to be, Renee Grant-Williams in Voice Power will show you how you can develop a charming and sexy voice by make it resonate with powerful clarity.

Having worked with celebrities and singers such as Garth Brooks, Faith Hill, Tim McGraw, and The Dixie Chicks, Grant-Williams has established herself as an authority on improving the human voice. You don’t need to be a singer or even a public speaker to improve your voice. A better voice will help you with every spoken word. Whether you’re disciplining children, motivating employees, seducing a partner, or teaching a workshop, a better voice helps get your point across and make it stick.

Voice Power isn’t about getting you to speak loudly. In fact, volume was mentioned rarely in the book. It is about creating the support and resonance for a commanding voice with little effort.

It creates the support and resonance for a commanding voice with little effort.

The basis for the book is good breathing. When we were babies, we naturally breathed well. We lost good breathing habits when we were taught to puff-out our chest and hold our heads high – two techniques that tense vocal muscles. The breathing techniques will have you relax, balance yourself, reduce stress, minimize muscular tension, and improve your voice.

Grant-Williams advises the use of powerful consonants where you elongate sentence-important consonants – another powerful piece of advice that counters common knowledge of elongating vowels. Saying “Ssstop it nnnow” is more powerful than “Stooop it nooow”. Watch the video below of Renee explaining consonant-elongation to a group of singers:

I think you’ll find many insightful lessons about vocal quality with the author’s simple and effective teachings that reveal a lot of vocal myths.

Other central techniques in the book include silence, rhythm, and volume. Grant-Williams describes a musical beat to speaking that is valuable especially for when you prepare a speech. Elvis Presley’s singing technique, posture, and body positioning is used to demonstrate and breakdown a beautiful sounding voice.

The last section in the book deals with voice care. A few tips include getting enough water, eating well, exercising, and using a humidifier to keep the air moist. You also learn common problems with unhealthy voices such as reflux and nodes to ensure you avoid a health ailment that limits your vocals.

It is a great book to power up your voice and have it sound richer. I found myself pulling many pieces of advice and techniques from it. Make your voice count because it has power in making a good impression on others. Transform your voice into an asset that shows you are a confident and powerful person by getting a copy of Voice Power today from Amazon by clicking here.

Dale Carnegie’s name is synonymous with How to Win Friends and Influence People. Though The Quick and Easy Way to Effective Speaking is not as popular Carnegie’s all-time classic, possibly because of its narrow market in public speaking skills, it lives up to Carnegie’s name. (If you haven’t read Dale Carnegie’s all-time classic How to Win Friends and Influence People, with over 16 million sales you’re missing out.)

Originally called Public Speaking and Influencing Men in Business in 1931, Dale’s wife, Dorothy Carnegie, revised the book, and renamed it The Quick and Easy Way to Effective Speaking in 1962 with Dale’s notes and suggestions before he passed away. With many improvements made possible from the couple’s speaking experiences and the Dale Carnegie Organization, this book is a great primer in effective public speaking.

Dale Carnegie taught public speaking for 40 years and has transformed public speaking into a skill anyone can develop. He has seen what works, what doesn’t work, and what works brilliantly. He has helped thousands of people overcome their fears of public speaking to present exciting speeches that hook the audience’s attention.

The book has 5 parts with 14 chapters. It begins with the basics of public speaking. You learn how to choose a topic, express yourself with excitement, and improve your speaking skills. Other bits of advice to improve your speaking skills include how to let others know your thoughts, cut-down the number of points in your speech, and sincerely appreciate your audience.

Dale Carnegie has transformed public speaking into a skill anyone can develop.

The most repeated point in the book is to choose a topic that interests you then get excited about it. Convince yourself that what you have is worth sharing and you will convince the crowd to attentively listen. Choosing a topic that excites you will make you talk with interest, vocal variety, and good body language because 93% of our communication comes from nonverbal communication when we discuss our likes or dislikes.

This book has the same style of writing as How to Win Friends and Influence People. Many stories are delivered in an easy-to-read language along with the practical simplicity of the advice. While it takes time to develop public speaking skills, the advice given is the easy way to effective speaking because it leverages our natural abilities and knowledge.

A brief review of the table of contents is below:

I have left out in-depth detail of parts two, three, four, and five because there are too many points to list here. (I guess you’ll just have to read it yourself!) A full summary of each part is found conveniently at its end for quick reference so you can revise and easily memorize what you have read.

In my opinion, the advice offered on how to give an impromptu speech (a speech where you’re given a topic on the spot) is the best part about the book. I have always struggled to think quickly on my feet by speaking smoothly on a topic I was just given, but the advice Carnegie shares is helping me solve the problem. I am quickly improving, becoming more confident, and talking longer – and these improvements will continue because you learn how to continually improve your speaking skills.

I highly recommend you get this book to improve not just your public speaking skills, but to also better your conversation skills, remove self-consciousness, and boost confidence. Effective public speaking can give you these benefits. If you haven’t already grabbed your copy of Dale Carnegie’s The Quick and Easy Way to Effective Speaking, you can get yours from Amazon by clicking here.