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Married woman shocked

Top 15 Dumb Mistakes People Make in Relationships

One of my friends recently asked his girlfriend, “What’s one dumb thing I do in the relationship?” She looked at him in shock, “Where do I begin? If it has to be one, I’d just say you can be a real ****.” “What!” he replied, “How dare you. Now it’s my turn.” A dam wall broke. An hour later the couple finished talking.

After studying communication for almost a decade, I notice we make many dumb relationship mistakes and communication errors that I’m about to share with you. I use the term “dumb” not to put you down, but to label the mistakes lots of people repeat. Put an end to these 15 relationship mistakes in no particular order: Read more

Couple arguing with therapist

4 Reasons Advice and Other Solutions Kill Relationships

Orders, better ways of doing things, and simple suggestions – these are solutions you likely send to people, which kills your relationship with them. A solution may appear harmless on the surface, yet in this article I’ll dig deep into why your solutions are not only ineffective at changing people, but also killing the emotional lives of people you touch.

“Hang out the washing”, “Stop moping around and cheer up”, “Fix what you broke”, “You need to improve your skills with customers”, “Get a new attitude”, “Obey your mother and father”. There are four reasons why such statements kill your relationships. Read more

Two hands pull on a rope

Why Problem Solving Doesn’t Solve the Problem and the Real Solution to Permanent Change

Have a problem in life you cannot fix? The damn thing sticks around. You try hard to solve it, but make little progress.

Let’s say the problem is being overweight. You have 20 pounds you want to drop. The extra weight makes you feel bad and not look your best. This motivates you to lose weight. You build the willpower and determination to drop a few pounds to feel good again and improve your looks.

Through determination to solve your weight problem, two weeks later you jump on the scales to discover you are nine pounds lighter. You are ecstatic! The mental tension about your weight eases. You feel more comfortable with your body. Your willpower drained a lot from you so you return to old habits. Read more

The Path of Least Resistance

Review of The Path of Least Resistance by Robert Fritz

This is a book review of Robert Fritz’s The Path of Least Resistance: Learning to Become the Creative Force in Your Own Life.

Why do you do what you do and how can you change it? It’s more complex than habits. There are patterns that take you to where you want to go or avoid what you want to dodge. Author Robert Fritz, developer of the Technologies for Creating, has developed a field of study called “Macrostructural Patterns” explained in his book that demystifies habitual behavior to help you create what you want in life. Read more