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Two masks in public

Just Be Yourself – Why It’s Bad Advice: Being Yourself is the Problem

Follow your heart, be true to yourself, everything will work out, and just be yourself. And oh, ride your unicorn over the rainbow with butterflies and fairies floating through your hair.

The most common tip you hear to be better with women and men is “just be yourself”. Jump in a forum, blog, or conversation where people discuss the secrets of making friends or attracting the opposite sex and you’ll hear the unanimous piece of advice echoed like ancient wisdom. I’ve received many emails and comments on articles like What Women Want in Men saying, “Forget everything. Just be yourself.” I manage to withhold from clicking reply and sending an angry response.

Being yourself is as useless advice as being told to “be confident”. How do you just be confident? You can’t just do it. Unless the word triggers what you need to do like “express your feelings” or “stand up straight”, being yourself is not helpful advice.

It’s time you understood this cliché and what you can do to be the best real you. Read more

Love can hurt

Getting Over a Relationship Break Up

*note: For a full guide to completely get over your break up and reset your relationship with the person you love, I highly recommend guys get this and girls get this.

Your relationships often determine the sweetness or bitterness of your life. When your relationships are great, life feels great. When you go through a break up like you are right now, life feels like crap.

The lessons in this article will be hard to accept. If you are after tips like “go see a movie with friends” to avoid the dark, deep secrets of working through emotional pain, go read the hundreds of trash articles about this topic over the Internet. The lessons in this article are hardcore. You will learn true mental and emotional strategies to get over your break up so you are ready for whatever you want your future to be. Read more

Guy and girl in love over the phone

Making Someone Fall in Love with You Over the Phone

Whether the person you talk to over the phone is a potential partner, client, or friend; whether you just met them or have known them your entire life; you can make someone fall in love with you or like you more over the phone. Like any communication skill, there are tips you can follow over the phone to speed up the relationship-building process.

Basic Rules to Make Someone Love You

The phone changes a few rules used in normal face-to-face communication, but not much else differs. The psychology of the two individuals at either end of the phone remain the same. Tips can be adapted to help you build your relationship. Read more

Couple argue as girl looks on

How to Love People: The Heart of Effective Communication

You hear from teachers, counselors, relationship experts, self-help experts, or religion, that you should love people – or at least love your family, friends, and others you value. We know, it’s not that easy! It’s hard to love someone you hate or who hurts you. At times you would rather punch a family member in the face to knock them out.

Carl Rogers, a pioneering psychologist in the 1950s on human relations, said love, genuineness, and empathy are three essential pieces to constructive communication. Many studies since then support Rogers’ theory. When we fail to love people, we fail to communicate in a way that supports ourselves and people. Love is the core of powerful communication. Think about it for a moment and I’m sure your experiences confirm love is the heart of effective communication.

It is unfortunate we are not taught how to love people. Instead of learning how to love, we learn to fight. Instead of learning how to love, we learn to defend ourselves. Instead of learning how to love, we learn to get our point across in a debate. It is no wonder society is deprived of the core energy that drives humanity.

This article will help you love people more. Read more

Quiet boy is laughed at

Why People Remain Quiet, Shy, and Non-Assertive: The Benefits of Passive Behavior and Communication

I suffered from severe passive behavior and communication. I would not say what I wanted, avoid confrontation, and dodge responsibility to not get blamed. This compromised my character. People interacted with a mask that protected my vulnerable self.

Passiveness, otherwise known as submissiveness, is the opposite to aggression. Passiveness literally means detachment and acceptance. It is acted upon rather than acts on something. Passive communication involves “keeping under the radar”, “not sticking up for yourself”, saying yes when you really want to say no, and overly “selfless behaviors”. While passiveness is different to being shy or quiet, shy or quiet individuals are often passive.

There are benefits to passive behavior and communication that make it a problem in families, the workplace, and other interactions. I want to share with you the deep reasons behind why people avoid “sticking up for themselves” and many other passive behaviors in this article. Once you understand this behavior, a powerful world is revealed before your eyes that would otherwise have remained hidden. Read more

Father points his finger at his worried son

The Four Parenting Styles in Passive, Aggressive, and Assertive Behavior

Here’s the most common parenting question I get asked, which is a major parenting misconception: Is there one correct way to raise a child? The answer is there is no one right way to raise a child. Like buying a car, becoming friends with your neighbors, or hanging out your clothes to dry, there is no single way to raise a healthy-minded, love-filled, successful child.

Having said that, there are four parenting styles you need to be aware of when raising a child, which explain the best parenting styles for a child. How you use a parenting style is up to your judgment. No single correct way to use the styles exists because there are too many variables in parenting and your child.

The four parenting styles based on research in parenting are: Read more

Communicate

The Benefits of Communication Skills

What if I told you there was a secret to you being happy, attractive, popular, successful, in control, and loving? What if you could get these from one skill? You can.

The benefits of communication are mind-boggling. It goes beyond what you’re about to discover here. Any interaction with people or lack of interaction from things like shyness can improve with communication.

Rudyard Kipling said, “Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.” Kipling’s quote fails to communication because it is far more than words – communication is also nonverbal. Imagine the powerful benefits of communication now.

Here are a list of communication benefits that tell you the “what”, “why”, and “how” this amazing skill will change your life: Read more