It’s a paradox that what got you reading this article is maintaining your problem. The word “cure” is what creates your social anxiety disorder. I cringe at using the word in the title of this article, but it displays a breakthrough point modern therapists have discovered: attempts to remove anxiety cause it to persist.

You’ve suffered from social anxiety disorder and tried to treat it for years. The problem and infatuation with removing anxiety go hand-in-hand. What you resist persists sometimes making problem-solving ineffective.

From a young age we’re tricked to believe in emotional regulation. We believe adults are mature, stable, and happy because of emotional control. “Stop crying and being a baby.” “Don’t be angry.” And of course my dreaded, “Don’t be a scaredy cat.” Emotional regulation has lead to your search here today as you try discover the cure of your social anxiety.

What are the affects of battling your anxiety? What’s the secret to better socialize and start living a meaningful life? … Click to continue reading →

Posted on Wednesday, April 13, 20118 Comments

I just finished another midnight shift at a job I did not like. I smiled, my eyes were open, I felt good about myself. I said my usual goodbyes to a friend and sprung into my car. My friend reversed his car before I had the chance to leave my car park. He had beaten me this time. It was an unspoken game that took place each time we left work. I waited for him to get out of the way before I reversed to make my way home.

As I drove, the open car park gave me an invitation to have a little fun with my car. If landscapes could talk, this one was whispering into my ear that I should spin the wheels. “Besides, it’s late at night. No one is around and you’re feeling great. It’s an open car park with no danger. Do it!” Like a vulnerable teenager succumbing to peer pressure, I accepted the invitation.

The car became an extension of my body as it began to mimic my ecstatic mood. I put my foot down hard on the accelerator as I spun the wheel left around the first corner. As the rear tires lost their stability and the car went side-ways, I entered the next turn and spun the wheel right. The sound of screeching tires was water fertilizing my increasing smile. Smoke filled the rims of my tires and a shot of adrenaline filled my body.

Following the two consecutive drifts, I straightened the car and approached a set of traffic lights on the main road that would take me home. Had this been during the daytime, about seven cars would be in front of me before the upcoming traffic lights.

My friend who had left before me had passed through the traffic lights three seconds ago so the lights were still green. Keeping in the mood, I put my foot down on the accelerator to catch the green light. I would safely make it. I turned around the corner with a soft screech of the tires. 20 meters in front of me on the side of the road were two police officers beside their vehicle. Lucky me. … Click to continue reading →

Posted on Thursday, December 11, 200818 Comments

What if I told you there was a secret to you being happy, attractive, popular, successful, understanding, in control, loving, and satisfied? What if you could get these benefits – plus more – by learning a single skill? It sounds almost too good to be true.

The skill that gives you these benefits is effective communication. Communication has too many benefits to list because the skill enhances many areas of one’s life. Any interaction with people or lack of it can improve with communication.

Rudyard Kipling said, “Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.” Kipling’s quote fails to fully describe communication because it is far more than words – it also incorporates nonverbal channels of communication. Imagine the powerful benefits of communication now.

Here are a list of communication benefits that tell you the what, why, and how this amazing skill will change your life: … Click to continue reading →

Posted on Friday, October 3, 20084 Comments