You’re already an impressive person. By definition, you “impress” yourself into the memory of anyone you meet. But in this article I’ll show you how to make a good first impression on a guy, girl, parent – whoever. The imprint you’ll learn to leave on people will have them fossilize the memory.

Whether you’re the girl at the bar yelling to her friends “Oh my I have to pee SO BAD!” or the guy whose voice cracks over his first words, it’s hard to erase a first impression from someone’s brain. As said in my Big Talk course, however, where there’s a whole chapter on making a great first impression, “A first impression isn’t a last impression; it’s an influential impression.”

A good impression at first sight is what I call “the lazy man’s way to make people like you”. Princeton University research shows our snap judgments remain consistent over time. If someone judges you as “attractive”, “friendly”, and “open” within 100 milliseconds, they’re likely to think you’re all that by the end of the conversation. The study did find one thing changes as the conversation continues: a person’s confidence in the accuracy of their first impression.

Call it bias or unfairness. I call it human psychology. Work with it if you want to be seen as awesome. Here are 40 tips that will help you make a great first impression. … Click to continue reading →

Posted on Wednesday, September 15, 201019 Comments

I spend maybe 30 minutes a day reading other people’s blogs and websites. Not just in social skills, but other topics like behavior, business, and being a bad ass. I then recommend these on Twitter and Facebook.

Over the past year I’ve collected some great resources on social skills I’d like to share with you now. Some are from friends of mine, myself, and just others who’ve given good insight into a topic.

From improving your social skills, overcoming anxiety, and starting a conversation, all the way to ongoing conversation, being charismatic, and making people laugh, here are some great resources I recommend you read even if they take you a while to get through … Click to continue reading →

Posted on Thursday, June 17, 20102 Comments

Another email just arrived in my inbox. This person wanted me to hire him because he had just been fired, needed to feed his family, and was frustrated with the economic conditions.

I shook my head as I sat on my computer at home, sipping a coffee. I felt sorry for him, but he didn’t need work – he needed a radical shift in reality with a series of self-probing questions, tips, skills, and advice to nail his desired job.

Whether you’re going for a retail, nursing, accounting, teacher, or government interview full-time or part-time over the phone, online, or in person, the following advice will help you ace any interview to get the job of your dreams. … Click to continue reading →

Posted on Tuesday, February 16, 20107 Comments

Do men confuse you? Men date bitches, guys don’t talk to you, and they all seem to want sex. Guys are confusing. The male specie is nonsense from a female perspective.

There’s your first barrier that stops you from figuring out what men want in women when dating and in relationships. As long as you try to figure out men through your womanly experiences and understandings, you’ll forever remain confused.

Men differ from women. Before you give me a Nobel Prize for that remarkable statement, understand that women tend to operate from their limiting beliefs in dating and relationships. They apply their reality of chemistry and connection to a man’s reality, forgetting a male’s emotional psychology is completely different to their own.

If you cook, clean, and shop for a man in hope he likes you, you’ll be ineffective at triggering attraction and other important responses men want to feel around women. You wouldn’t feel attracted to a guy who only sat around watching football drinking beer so don’t become the female equivalent.

To figure out what men want in women, put aside your preconceived notions about dating and relationships then listen. Men will also benefit from reading this article because it helps you, if you’re a guy, better understand your desires so you can build better relationships and attract quality women. … Click to continue reading →

Posted on Monday, January 25, 201024 Comments

If you want to resolve conflict instead of avoiding it, you’re a rare individual. Based on my observations and experiences, most people are conflict avoiders.

To survive and thrive in the workplace, at business, and around family you must know how to deal with people who prefer to negate “negative feelings”; overlook the reality of tension, disagreement, and resentment; and put a rosy-glow on everything. Conflict is unavoidable even to those who avoid it because our differences in culture, values, needs, and perspectives make us human.

If you or others aim for conflict avoidance, it isn’t avoided or somehow solved. Problems escalate, resentment builds, and relationships die. What gets avoided is a healthy workplace, a happy family, the true depths of human beings, and reality. You must therefore learn effective ways to resolve conflict when others prefer to pretend perfection. … Click to continue reading →

Posted on Monday, November 30, 20096 Comments

Drugs, alcohol, energy vampires, greedy clients, persistent salespersons, and charity seekers. These are few of the many objects and people sucking your time, money, energy, focus, and life. For many reasons, however, you give in to them as you donate money, help another hour, work overtime, remain at a venue, or answer a survey.

This is not just an article to help you be assertive – it is a complete guide about the psychology of saying no. Too many people struggle to decline an offer, say they won’t help out, or reject a dangerous substance with confidence. Forces like guilt, peer pressure, and an inability to assert oneself makes people say yes, which puts them in situations they later regret. … Click to continue reading →

Posted on Wednesday, May 20, 200917 Comments

This is a consumer’s book review of Hamilton Miller’s Elite Social Control, a controversial ebook that teaches ethical mind control techniques for better conversations.

I purchased Miller’s ebook. Upon opening it, I was surprised to see it was only 95 pages. I got a little angry, expecting more, because so many ebooks on persuasion, conversations, and communication- related subjects are small and contain little value. After finishing the ebook, however, I had received more techniques than some 300-page books I’ve read. Do not judge Miller’s book by its size like I did because you will get many mind control techniques to improve your conversations. … Click to continue reading →

Posted on Monday, January 26, 200915 Comments

I just finished another midnight shift at a job I did not like. I smiled, my eyes were open, I felt good about myself. I said my usual goodbyes to a friend and sprung into my car. My friend reversed his car before I had the chance to leave my car park. He had beaten me this time. It was an unspoken game that took place each time we left work. I waited for him to get out of the way before I reversed to make my way home.

As I drove, the open car park gave me an invitation to have a little fun with my car. If landscapes could talk, this one was whispering into my ear that I should spin the wheels. “Besides, it’s late at night. No one is around and you’re feeling great. It’s an open car park with no danger. Do it!” Like a vulnerable teenager succumbing to peer pressure, I accepted the invitation.

The car became an extension of my body as it began to mimic my ecstatic mood. I put my foot down hard on the accelerator as I spun the wheel left around the first corner. As the rear tires lost their stability and the car went side-ways, I entered the next turn and spun the wheel right. The sound of screeching tires was water fertilizing my increasing smile. Smoke filled the rims of my tires and a shot of adrenaline filled my body.

Following the two consecutive drifts, I straightened the car and approached a set of traffic lights on the main road that would take me home. Had this been during the daytime, about seven cars would be in front of me before the upcoming traffic lights.

My friend who had left before me had passed through the traffic lights three seconds ago so the lights were still green. Keeping in the mood, I put my foot down on the accelerator to catch the green light. I would safely make it. I turned around the corner with a soft screech of the tires. 20 meters in front of me on the side of the road were two police officers beside their vehicle. Lucky me. … Click to continue reading →

Posted on Thursday, December 11, 200818 Comments

Whether the person you want to talk to over the phone is a potential partner, client, or friend, and you’ve just met the person or have known them your entire life, there are a series of effective phone skills you can use to increase love and liking to build any relationship. Like any communication skill, there are tips you can follow over the phone to speed up the relationship-building process.

The telephone is a different medium to traditional face-to-face communication. What does this mean to you? Rules change and tips can be adapted to help you build your relationship. What does not change is the fundamental human psychology of the two individuals at either end of the phone. … Click to continue reading →

Posted on Saturday, December 6, 20082 Comments

Let me tell you an interesting story you no doubt will relate to. One day I was walking the golf course, caddying for my older brother Nathan, a professional golfer, who was playing a regional qualifier for the Australian Open. He started the day strongly with a few shots under par, but the turning point came on the eleventh hole when he hit a bad two-iron from the tee on a par 4. Being a left-hander, he pulled the golf ball left where it ended out-of-bounds. Following that eradicate shot, his quality of play did not improve for the remainder of the day.

At the end of the round, he had failed to qualify for the national tournament by two shots. In the clubhouse where we had a drink, we talked about what he did well and what he could have done better. “I was surprised by the quality of your chip shots and game around the greens,” I remarked. “Everything went within 2 meters of the pin.” Not to concerned about the disappointed day, Nathan replied, “Yeah, you’re right. My wedge game was strong today. Just…” to which I interrupted and said, “The eleventh 2-iron.” He echoed my words, “Spot on, the eleventh 2-iron.”

I let him continue to talk as his words almost perfectly described the words in my mind. Something happened between our minds. It was like a magic trick taking place. A mystical cable connected our minds, leading to strange psychological phenomena. … Click to continue reading →

Posted on Thursday, December 4, 200811 Comments