It’s so hard to socialize if your voice is unclear, jagged, and plain boring – common vocal traits of shy people. A charming, resonant voice makes people listen to you.

This is a guest article from Carol, a friend of mine for two years. Carol runs her speech company out of San Francisco and is one of the best voice coaches I know. Read and most importantly practice what she has to teach in this article…

Does this sound familiar?

People have trouble hearing my voice when there’s any kind of noise.

When I try to talk louder, I end up with a sore throat.

I sound raspy and flat on my voice-mail.

I need to be able to project when I give oral reports, so people don’t interrupt with

“Can’t hear you!” or “Speak up!”

I want to have a voice that people call rich, resonant, and, well, OK – sexy.

I have worked with voice improvement for many years and I know that there is single golden road to your gorgeous voice: you have to think “Singing“.

Wait! Don’t go! That first step to a charming voice is understanding that there really are learnable skills that will make a huge difference in the attractiveness of your voice. Yes, you can do something about it.

Singing is a matter of a sustained vocal tone with maximal resonance. In practice, what this means for your speaking is that the vowels are more prominent when you talk and that you allow chest resonance to build and color all your words.

Why Your Voice Isn’t Golden

1. The problem you are probably up against is that you barely open your mouth when you talk – you retract your voice to the back of your throat and constrict the sound so that there is little opportunity for resonance to build.

2. Most of your speech energy goes into your consonants and not your vowels. Big mistake! While speech sounds are clearly important to intelligibility, vowels are equally vital PLUS supplying a physical, musical element that can be attractive and charming to the opposite sex.

Here’s a sentence that uses a lot of noise, just to give you the idea: “Stacie can’t scratch the itch.” Compare all those noise elements to the vocal flow of “Many men will wonder.” in the following exercise.

3. You spurt your voice inside each syllable instead of providing a steady flow of sound to carry your voice out with a continuous tone underlying all your speaking.

Those who have used my CDs, The Sound of Your Voice or have my book, It’s the Way You Say It, will recognize the concepts of Tonal Support and Linking.

Did you see the movie, The King’s Speech? The stuttering king produced his best, most fluent speech when he used the continuous flow of voice, with one word linked to the next, to connect his speech.

Place your hand firmly on your throat and say, very slowly, “Many men will wonder”. You should have felt a continuous flow of voice as you moved from one word to the next. This flowing of the voice helped the King speak fluently and will help you sound more resonant.

4. That constricted throat you habitually use will produce a monotone that is not yummy.

If you use the concept of singing to guide your speaking, you are more likely to allow melodic variation into your speaking. Listen to the intonation of the famous “homeless” guy with the “golden voice” in the news recently. You’ll notice how musical his speaking is. It is a constant song and people are enraptured by it. Crooning rhymes with spooning, doesn’t it?

If the first step to a charming and irresistible voice is knowing what to do, the second step is actually doing it. To go from the “knowing” to the “doing”, you’re going to need some help. Here are five steps to help you get the most out of your voice.

Practical Steps to Get Your Irresistible Voice

1. If you can, get yourself some singing instruction from someone who knows how to guide you in learning a new voice. You’ll probably pay for this. It will be worth every cent.

2. Join a church or community choir that provides some instruction in voice production. Just being in a group may give you the confidence to open up and try new behaviors that you would never do by yourself.

3. Use my book, It’s the Way You Say It for exact instructions on these techniques and you can use my CDs The Sound of Your Voice to give you the auditory guidance to supplement the book.

4. Experiment with your new voice with people who wait on you in restaurants or the dentist’s office. You can develop more skill and comfort with the changed voice with people who are not emotionally important to you.

5. It would be a good idea to learn some appropriate poetry that you practice and memorize in your resonant voice. It could come in handy.

All is fair in love and war, they say. And a sexy voice simply cannot be beat.

Other Articles That Might Help You

1. Review of The Sound of Your Voice by Carol Fleming
2. Review of Voice Power by Renee Grant-Williams
3. How to Be Charming to Men and Women

Over the past year I’ve collected some great resources on social skills I’d like to share with you now. Some are from friends of mine, myself, and just others who’ve given good insight into a topic.

From improving your social skills, overcoming anxiety, and starting a conversation, all the way to ongoing conversation, being charismatic, and making people laugh, here are some great resources I recommend you read even if they take you a while to get through (each of these great resources will open in a new window so you keep track of this page):

1. How to Improve Your Social Skills: 8 Tips from the Last 2500 Years

Henrik Edberg has some good social skills insight to share. A lot of what he discusses builds on from Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. Read some of his other posts on communication and socializing if you have the time.

2. 25 Ways to Relieve Anxiety

I mostly teach people how to deal with their past, rework their mind, and get into the present to overcome social anxiety, but this post has some good alternatives to deal with anxiety disorders. Read it if you’re shy and struggle talking to strangers. It’s unlikely to cure your social anxiety though it will help make you more comfortable in social situations.

3. 101 Conversation Starters People Love

A goldmine from none other than yours truly. You get everything needed to start a conversation with anyone.

4. 40 Ways to Make a Good First Impression

According to research, if someone judges you as “attractive”, “friendly”, and “open” within 100 milliseconds, they’re likely to think you’re all that by the end of the conversation. In this killer article of mine, you’re given 40 tips on body language, conversation techniques, and mind strategies to quickly and permanently impress people.

5. 7 Hacks to Remember Any Name

End the embarrassment of forgetting someone’s name by using seven neat mind-tricks. Charismatic persons like Richard Branson are masters at remembering people’s names. You may not become a billionaire by knowing John is John, yet people will feel special, you won’t feel awkward, and your relationships will be richer.

6. 3 Quick Ways to Never Let Your Conversation Run Out

There’s a lot of garbage advice out there on how to keep a conversation going. Most people just don’t know what they do to continually talk to anyone. You’ll want to read this short article by a guy called Schmidty to help you keep talking to people.

7. 10 Tips: How to Be Funny

Onto some cool skills now that make you a better socializer. Even if you’re a serious type of person, you can lighten and learn how to be funny. Your ability to make people laugh will win you many friends, business deals, and glances from the opposite sex that make you glee in delight.

8. 50 Body Language Secrets You Need to Succeed In Life

Though the start of the article mentions a major communication myth, you get 50 great little tricks to improve your often overlooked nonverbal communication. You can say all the right things when socializing, yet ignore your nonverbal communication and you may look like a weirdo. Get your body language down pat to be cool.

9. 10 Ways to Instant Charisma

You’ll notice this post on charisma summarizes points in other resources mentioned here. Read it if you want to become more likable and win the respect of people you don’t yet know.

10. Tips on Effective Listening

Listening is another topic of many where many “self-help experts” give ordinary advice like “maintain eye contact” and “repeat the person’s words”. There’s more to socializing, rapport, and friendship than the surface aspects of communication. Written by a therapist, this article on effective listening will have you more deeply connecting to people. Listening most times is at least 50% of a conversation so make sure you master this skill if you want to be popular and make cool friends.

11. Presence in Relationships

You might be surprised to see something about presence here. Someone “present” is in the Now. They are fully absorbed in the present moment. Presence is a secret skill in Big Talk. When you’re present in conversations, you’re free from anxiety and you deeply connect to people. You get the feeling of being in the zone as time and worry banishes.

12. How to Make Friends and Get a Social Life

Author Chris use to be a shy, awkward loser. I can call him that because I used to be as well and I’m linking to his article! If you’re not good at making friends and have a social life of stalking others on Facebook, you’ll get a lot of practical tips and theories in this useful resource.

13. How to Network with Busy People

This 12-part series written by Steve Pavlina, a leading self-help blogger, shows how to get in contact and build relationships with hard to reach people so you dominate life. Should you become a successful networker, life becomes easy because you have resourceful and trustworthy connections.

14. Your suggestion

Have something amazing to share with other readers? Contact me or comment below. If I feel it’s a one-of-a-kind helpful resource, it may appear in this list!

I hope you enjoyed these social skills resources. Make sure you follow me on Twitter and like Tower of Power on Facebook for more great resources, books, and lessons to build friends and influence people.

Other Articles That Might Help You

1. The Only “Cure” for Social Anxiety Disorder and Achieving Social Freedom
2. Teaching Your Child Listening Skills
3. Review of Elite Social Control by Hamilton Miller
4. Why Smart People Have Poor Communication Skills – and What to Do About It
5. 10 Almost Guaranteed Ways to Fail in Life

For men, this means you’ll be able to cultivate what the article discusses into your life so you can attract and maintain happy friendships and intimate relationships with women. If you are already in a relationship, this is what your woman wish you already knew. Anytime you can get a woman or anyone feeling what you want to them to feel, whether it be over the phone, in a business deal, or placing an order at a restaurant, you will get more out of the situation – not necessarily at the expense of the other person.

For women, it could mean many things. You will gain a clearer understanding of what drives you as a woman in your relationships, why past relationships have failed, and even how to select a real, authentic man that is Mr Right.

The Triad of Dilemmas

I’ve read dozens of books, subscribed to attraction newsletters, talked to attraction experts, talked to women about what they want in a man, tested techniques, and have observed many scenarios comparing and contrasting variables men display in their interaction with women to create a set of complete, holistic characteristics women want in men, which I will share with you in this article. In my search, I came across my first dilemma: experts gave contradictory advice – more so in the diverse stages of a relationship.

At the start of a relationship, dating experts attempt to describe what women want. There are pick-up artists and attraction experts that tell men to neg (a gentle, teasing insult), take advantage of a woman’s insecurities, and advance the relationship as fast as possible. Such people praise themselves as pioneers in defining what women want, but in reality nearly all of them cannot keep a long-term relationship. They excuse themselves as having the power to be selective, instead of dating and keeping any woman that comes their way, though their denial is a facade for deficiencies in their personality.

At the later stages of relationships are marriage experts, psychologists, romanticists, and communication trainers that teach men to listen to women. According to such experts, women want to be heard, understood, and made to feel special. These teachers do not tell you the skills and personality characteristics that create animalistic urges in women because the principles are counter-intuitive to “good relationship communication”. Pick-up artists and other advisers that teach men how to succeed in dating, bash marriage trainers and the like over their teachings because the dating coaches feel long-term relationship advisers transform men into sensitive, new age, wuss-bag, girly men – and I agree to an extent.

Most men that learn communication skills from me fall the trap of applying interpersonal relationship advice at the start of a relationship. It is not so much what they do as it is how they do it. The men become needy, have low self-esteem, and fail to communicate strength. Women don’t want to feel understood, listened to, worried about, and comforted at the early stages of a relationship – such “nice boy” characteristics send them running. Women want to feel indescribable urges that arise from bad boy qualities.

Culture and society creates the second dilemma: society infuses disempowering beliefs and limiting norms into men. I don’t blame guys for their limiting beliefs about what women want – but I do blame them for holding onto them when the truth is revealed. We are lead to believe women only want tall, handsome, wealthy men. Such advice drives men to feel insecure about themselves, which validates their initial belief. They may get rejected on an approach, dumped by a girlfriend, or divorced from a long-term relationship, and reason through their perceptual filters that their shortness, ugly looks, or poor wealth did it to them.

If most experts and society don’t know what women want, surely women know? What better way to get the answer, then from the source itself, right? No. Most women don’t even know what they want – and therein lies the third and last dilemma.

Women preach to guys the characteristics they feel attracted to. They reason, “I’m a woman so I know what I and other women want.” This causes confusion.

Malcolm Gladwell in Blink says attraction is one topic of many when our rapid judgments and feelings are unconsciously processed. When our conscious, analytical mind enters the fray, errors occur. Gladwell says we label what we think attracts us to what really attracts us. Few people are aware of what lurks beneath the conscious mind. We succumb to personal qualities that leave us feeling out of control and bewildered.

If these three sources of information create dilemmas in defining what women want in men, what is the source of truth? What I’m going to teach will probably shock you, but put your preconceived notions about this entire topic aside so you can learn. “Empty your cup” as Bruce Lee would say.

Women are Mixed Up

Women say one thing and mean another thing. A woman says she wants you to spend more time with her, but according to David Deida, author of The Way of The Superior Man, if you give her that in certain circumstances, your compliance disappoints her. If a woman sees she can upset you by calling you ugly, she will weed you out of being a potential mate – not because of your looks, but because your weak self-esteem let her easily destroy you. The surface is not a description of the depths.

When women say what they want, it isn’t really what they want – it’s an attempt to rationalize something abstract to them. Attraction is a confusing subject to intellectually understand and experience. Often guys and women cannot explain why they are attracted to someone because attraction isn’t a logical decision (“I keep dating the wrong type of person”). Attraction isn’t decided and it certainly isn’t a choice.

Women are strange – though you probably already knew that. Women say they want nice guys, so men be nice, but a woman does not make the logical decision to be with a guy because he is nice to her with compliments, presents, and gifts. Both genders make emotional decisions on their relationships. If a man compliments a lady, gives her gifts, buys her flowers, and earns her affection, the techniques may work for a while, but he is just being used. Such behaviors are fake, manipulative, needy, and undesirable.

Another confusing characteristic men adapt that women say they want is humor, one of the most universally attractive qualities women want in men. Being funny, however, is not the whole story. A good sense of humor isn’t what they entirely want. Women aren’t crawling over comedians. What they want is a guy who is cocky, has a sense of humor, can tease, and doesn’t constantly degrade himself. Unstoppable confidence combined with humor attracts nearly every woman – even the psychotic type so be careful. (Here’s a good guide on humor to attract women.)

Other Articles That Might Help You

1. What Men Want in Women
2. How to Be Charming to Men and Women
3. Why People Remain Quiet, Shy, and Non-Assertive: The Benefits of Passive Behavior and Communication
4. How to Not Care What People Are Thinking About You – and Release Your People-Magnetic Self Into the Conversation
5. Review of Double Your Dating by David DeAngelo

David DeAngelo starts off by letting readers know that his Double Your Dating ebook is not an encyclopedia, but a reference to being successful with women. It is not intended to be a complete resource on how men can attract women. It is, however, a mighty fine start. He provides strong foundations that any guy must know in order to become successful with women and dating.

After a decade’s experience in learning how to attract women, DeAngelo knows how guys approach the subject of learning how to be successful with women. Too often he has seen guys take a mental standpoint where they mistake themselves for knowing the information while they don’t put the skills to use. He mentions the need for guys to go out and practice the attraction skills he teaches. Many guys seeking advice from him are intelligent, but smart can be dumb. The skills he teaches, like any other, require practice. No great skill or canned pick-up lines will make a guy succeed with women and dating if they are not practiced, adapted, and understood.

There are many canned lines given in the ebook, which give you a strong frame of reference for creating your own lines, but “what to say” is not the basis behind the ebook. The ebook is not filled with lines; it is a holistic reference to become successful with women. The given lines act like the framework for tough situations, such as the complete guide on what to do and say to get a woman’s phone number. The ebook is a powerful reference to create the whole mindset a guy must have if he wants to start dating physically and emotionally attractive women.

This touches on another topic where guys complain about these attraction skills not being their natural self. The author says the majority of guys have no idea how to attract women because their natural self is bottled inside of fear, anxiety, and placing women on a pedestal. Once guys practice and internalize the information, they are then given the privilege to behave as their natural self. Being yourself is an earned privilege and not a right.

DeAngelo’s teachings come from his own experience, and years of studying experts. He has slashed through the loads of dating and psychology advice for men, most of which is useless or harmful, so you can be certain his guidance and tips work. (I have heard him describe his learning experience from the loads of information as walking through a jungle with a machete slashing through the crap that gets in the way of men being successful with women.)

Theory of Attraction and Dating Women

In traditional DeAngelo fashion, he begins Double Your Dating with theory. He briefly goes back a few thousand years to identify the psychological factors of women that remain unchanged to this day. There are inherit differences between the way women and men think, feel, and behave. By taking advantage of these differences – instead of letting them confuse you, like most guys who are unaware of gender differences in dating and attraction – you become more successful with women.

Most men new to attraction and the whole “pick-up scene” make the mistake of assuming women are only interested in handsome, tall, wealthy, and powerful men. These guys may also mistake women as wanting similar characteristics in men that guys want in women. DeAngelo teaches that women are naturally attracted to handsome, tall, wealthy, or powerful men. Though these characteristics instinctively trigger a woman’s natural feelings of attractiveness towards a guy, a man who develops his confidence, social skills, and attraction triggers can elicit more powerful sexual feelings from within her. What matters most is how a man makes a woman feel through his personality and communication. There are plenty of wealthy, tall, good looking men who get women’s attention, but cannot keep it because they disobey the principles in DeAngelo’s ebook.

Helping Men Transform

Two general principles I loved, which stood out from Double Your Dating, is the mindset you must have to become good at something and the need to constantly improve yourself. Though the ebook provides quick, short-term tips to be successful with women, the guys who make the commitment and effort to practice the advice get greater success with women than the guys after quick canned lines. Making a commitment to yourself with persistent effort is a sure way to get the most out of any goal you desire. The second principle of constantly improving yourself will do all guys a miracle in becoming more emotionally and physically attractive.

DeAngelo teaches guys many skills in the ebook that I recommend to people to improve their social skills and feelings about themselves. He shows you how to adjust your attitude, change negative beliefs to empowering beliefs, boost your self-esteem, become a man women know is sexually attractive, and general psychological betterment. The exercises he provides improves many areas of anyone’s life – they are not limited to helping guys become more successful with women.

Become a True Man

One point I think you will love most in the ebook are the strategies and exercises to overcome your fears of approaching women. Too many guys let their fear of approaching stop them from success with women. I felt DeAngelo was speaking directly to me with my past fears of going up to girl and getting rejected.

Another interesting point worth noting is “ass kissing” behavior, like buying a woman’s affection, is to be avoided at all times. In any situation where the motive behind complimenting is manipulative, you can expect a poor response. The basis of the ebook transforms these natural tendencies guys have into challenging behaviors. A guy in control of his life who can playfully tease women communicates sexually attractive qualities.

The personality styles that turn women on is, by itself, enough reason to check out the ebook. These personality styles go beyond personalities that women love – they are an entire life-changing mindset. One particular personality style of many I’ll share with you to demonstrate what I’m talking about is the “aggressive” personality. This personality is not about beating up women or being a jerk; it refers to pursuing a goal with passion, persistence, and determination. Women attract to men that work aggressively towards their passionate goals. It communicates energy, protection, security, and a future outlook, which ties in with the traits that instinctively attract women.

Quite possibly the greatest thing about Double Your Dating, which was added in the second edition, is the action exercises after every chapter. I cannot stress enough the need to practice any skill. Practicing is especially important in the dating world because fear unnecessarily prevents both men and women from dating success. A lot of people develop their fears from thinking too much. The action exercises act like little steps to get guys where they want to be in the dating world. These steps backed by a lot of real-world advice from the author means guys can go from not even being able to approach a girl, to having a great long-term relationship.

Overall, I was very pleased with the ebook. David DeAngelo’s style of writing was casual. I’ve observed his company and products for over three years. It is great to see the success they have given many thousands of men around the world in diverse cultures.

I know readers of the ebook that have more than doubled their dating – they have gone from never having a girlfriend to dating ten women a month. It’s crazy how much success some men now have with women after reading Double Your Dating. These men are now the selectee instead of the selected.

If you’re a guy wondering how you can be more successful with women, DeAngelo’s ebook shows you how. I believe all men, if they practice hard, can “mold with their hands” the kind of success with women they want. If only every man could read it, they would not experience years of frustration, loneliness, and fear that controls their lives.

Double Your Dating has my recommendations behind it! Sign up to David’s newsletter by clicking here. Once you sign up, you will be taken to a page where you can download his ebook Double Your Dating: What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women (Second Edition). (If you’re already signed up to his newsletter, just enter a fake name and email to continue to the next step so you can get your copy of his ebook.)

Other Articles That Might Help You

1. Review of Magic Bullets by Savoy
2. Review of The Game by Neil Strauss
3. Review of Catch Him and Keep Him by Christian Carter
4. Review of Elite Social Control by Hamilton Miller
5. Review of Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers

Savoy is not the author’s real name, but a pen name, like what most guys (especially the teachers) have in the seduction community to protect their identity. Savoy is CEO of Love Systems, a corporation of dating instructors who teach guys how to meet, attract, and keep women. Magic Bullets ebook is the main product they offer as it provides the entire framework and many great concepts they teach in their bootcamps around the world.

If you’ve read the New York Times best seller The Game, you know a little about this new field where guys learn how to be more successful with women and dating from the book’s main character, Mystery. Mystery Method was that original corporation where Mystery – arguably the world’s greatest pick-up artist – was an owner of the company. Since then, Mystery has left the company, which was later renamed to Love Systems.

In my review of The Game by Neil Strauss, I wrote a little about how the book provides several tips, and many insights, into the pick-up process. This is integrated in with an entertaining narration style of writing, which is why I’m assuming it was a New York Times best seller – that and the fact it revealed the intriguing pick-up community to the general public. The techniques and concepts in Magic Bullets describe the foundations used by the world’s best pick-up artists in The Game; though parts of the Love System’s seduction model has evolved over the years into a more reliable description of the seduction process.

The greatest part about this new model taught in the book is in the second phase, transition, because this determines if the relationship moves forward or ends as quickly as it started. Any guy who can open (the first phase) knows that opening is easy once he can overcome approach anxiety. The barrier in the past for guys has been figuring out what happens after you open. It’s easy to use a canned opener like asking for an opinion, but what do you do to transition and move forward in the relationship? What do you say that doesn’t seem like a big “jump” from your opener to your conversation topic? The transition phase in the book’s model is the answer to this problem.

The model in the book which forms the basis of Love Systems is:

1. Opening
2. Transitioning
3. Attraction
4. Qualification
5. Comfort
6. Seduction
7. Relationships

If you have experience in the seduction community, you know the whole seduction process is a structured framework (your understanding of it may be a little different to the one above). The model provides a step-by-step guide of the entire process. Every intimate relationship goes through the model – almost always unconsciously unless you consciously understand the steps. The steps tell you exactly what you must do and when to catalyze the seduction process while having it under your control. All this ultimately means you can quickly build relationships with women you find attractive.

If you grab your copy of Magic Bullets, you’ll learn more about each step within the seven phases and no longer be left clueless when you have an unsuccessful pick-up. You’ll continually improve yourself and your skill set so you are better in your next approach. If you take this seriously, like many guys do, you can ultimately become like many experienced students of Love Systems who are able to have almost any woman they want. The instructors from Love Systems have been learning and experiencing seduction for years so you are sure to learn a lot from their expertise.

The book is nicely divided into four parts: introduction, emotional progression model, context, and skills. Here is more detail of the book’s table of contents:

I’m pretty sure Savoy said the book was originally 500 pages. What a whopper that would have been. Fortunately, it was condensed down to approximately 200 pages with the magical use of many to-the-point bullets. (That’s not the reason for the book’s name, but there’s an interesting fact.) The many bullets means there is plenty of jam-packed information in this book. It is called Magic Bullets because, ironically, there is no magic bullet – an ultimate guaranteed solution – to successfully attract and hold onto a woman. The book is the closest thing to a “magic bullet”.

If you’re after a book that teaches you how to approach, attract, pick-up, and date more women in your life, Magic Bullets is your solution. It is a leader in the seduction community for one reason: it works. Thousands of guys have transformed themselves from being frozen stone-cold when approaching a woman to being “the man” in a nightclub and social situations in the day.

I highly recommend you grab your copy right now. It isn’t free, but the investment is worth it if you want to feel good around women. It is an ebook you can download and be reading within five minutes by clicking here today.

Other Articles That Might Help You

1. Review of The Game by Neil Strauss
2. Review of Double Your Dating by David DeAngelo
3. Review of The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene
4. Review of Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers
5. Review of Catch Him and Keep Him by Christian Carter

The Game is a truly fantastic read. Author Neil Strauss takes the reader through his life changing transformation from geek to woman-magnet. You follow his exciting tales as he starts out as not confident, shy, passive, and an introverted writer for The New York Times who within two years becomes one of the world’s greatest pick-up artists (PUAs).

A pick-up artist is a man who goes out and attracts women with his tremendous communication skills. Though they don’t refer to the skills as “communication skills”, the many pick-up artists throughout The Game are extremely competent in reading a woman’s body language, keeping her interested, and having great conversations. The PUAs ability to fine-tune their skills, rapidly adapt to situations, use routines, and maintain a high awareness of present social dynamics put the majority of people that learn communication skills to shame.

Each PUA (character) in The Game has a nickname that reflects his personality or has a strange story behind its origin. Strauss goes by the name of “Style” as he learns pick-up skills with guys like Extramask, Juggler, and WideFace from pioneers in the field like Mystery and Ross Jeffries.

Strauss is the book’s main character. After reading tid-bits of pick-up skills online from what’s called a “lair”, an online gathering place where guys learn how to attract women, Style meets up with Mystery at a workshop. Mystery is accompanied with friend and fellow instructor, Sinn. Mystery and Sinn instruct Style and two other students on what to expect at the workshop.

The first night out, the two instructors blow the students’ minds away. They see the instructors attract women before their eyes. The three students get caught in disbelief as their past beliefs of only good-looking guys get hot women is destroyed (most characters in the book are said to be unattractive). The following nights at the workshop, the student’s begin to practice. Their practice is filled with failure, funny stories, and the occasional successful approach, which excite the students.

The workshop teases Style into the whole pick-up subject as he soon commits to making the decision to get this part of his life solved. He becomes sick of not being able to talk to women and sets out on a journey to become ultra successful with women. After learning from the many greats like his best friend Mystery, attending seminars, practicing and failing, and reading many books on various topics, Style soon becomes one of the world’s best at picking-up women.

The PUAs’ social skills are mind-blowing. They have an amazing ability to penetrate a group of 10 people consisting of 9 men and 1 woman, and come out with the woman’s phone number. There is a scene in the book where a character by the name of Mystery basically steals Scott Baio‘s girlfriend, a very attractive lady. Mystery achieves this by firstly befriending Scott. He approaches the group by performing magic tricks to demonstrate a higher value, which sets him apart from other men. Scott’s girlfriend urges Mystery to show her more tricks, but he ignores her. Because of her requests, Mystery occasionally does something called a “neg” where he makes comments to Scott like, “Is she always this demanding?” In under 20 minutes, Scott’s girlfriend hands Mystery her phone number (number-close).

As you can probably tell, the attraction community is filled with their own jargon like negging (a gentle put-down), average frustrated chump (AFC, typical guy who isn’t good with women), indicator of interest (IOI, a sign of interest a woman displays), and demonstration of higher value (DHV, a display of high status) to name a few of the many terms. Pick-up artists or soon-to-be pick-up artists go sarging in-field (meaning they go out to practice their pick-up skills on women). The men mostly go in-field for “night game” at clubs and bars, though there is a few pick-up scenes in the The Game at “day game” venues like bookstores. The first day game approach Strauss did was a success in number-closing a Playmate of the year.

Other stories with celebrities are well told. A character by the name of Papa number-closed Paris Hilton at a taco store. Another one is when Courtney Love moved into the pick-up artists’ house, named “Project Hollywood”, during Courtney’s legal battle. This situation goes on for a few chapters with Courtney having a funny “Muffin Day” and “Lemonade Day” where she makes mass amounts of muffins and lemonade for the guys. Also, later on in the book when Strauss has mastered pick-up skills, he interviews a resistant Britney Spears for The New York Times. After running a few routines on her, Britney suddenly opens up and begins to heavily participate in the interview.

The Game does contain the occasional swearing and adult scenes. Moreover, it is written in a novel format, which hooked me word-for-word. I rarely read novels, but Strauss integrates a narrative style of writing by educating the reader with what goes on at a deeper level in a situation when the skills get used. You’re pulled inside the minds of pick-up artists as you discover their diverse use of social skills. You really do penetrate the secret society of pick-up artists.

People unfamiliar with the pick-up community will find The Game interesting. Those familiar with the community will likely have already read the book. If this whole topic interests you, go and get your copy of Neil Strauss’ The Game directly from Amazon.com by clicking here today. Next, check out the videos below where Neil (the bald guy) discusses his book and some of the techniques on various television shows.

Videos

Neil Strauss on ABC Primetime Special

Neil Strauss on Jimmy Kimmel Live

Get your copy here.

UPDATE: Neil Strauss has released a follow up, Rules of the Game, which comes in a nice two book set. One book contains many fascinating stories while the other is a 30 day challenge that aims to get you using the many tips Strauss shares in the book. You can get Rules of the Game here.

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