Review of Get the Friends You Want by Paul Sanders
Paul Sanders wrote Get the Friends You Want: How to Overcome Shyness, Social Anxiety, and Loneliness; Master Conversation and Social Skills; Make Friends and Build A Social Circle. He asked me just to look over the book. But when I read it, I had to give you a review. I discovered this is the solution you need if you find yourself alone.
Why You Need to Download it Now
I’ve been shy and lonely like Paul, and know the journey to transformation is scary but Get the Friends You Want makes it fun and effective.
In the caveman days you needed your tribe to hunt animals, kill predators, and protect your family. You could not do all this at once without friends. Today you can live from your computer safe inside an apartment. Does this mean friends are pointless today? You and I know, that is a miserable life.
You need to make friends if you want a great life. Without connections, your opinions get ignored. You are passed up for job promotions. A lack of friends means you miss social activities, solutions to problems from information-sharing, and chances to date someone attractive. Of course, if you have good friends, you have more fun. It may feel unfair and it’s reality.
One common lesson in the book is the irrationality of people when we socialize. We hang out with some people and not others because of survival, replication, status, thrills, approval, and love. We judge others within seconds because there is not enough time to “understand” 7 billion people on Earth. You can complain about this and get nowhere.
Paul says you are rejected or accepted relative to the value you give or fail to give. You can give high value by being popular (allowing friends to make friends), having status (to lift their status), and through other means like creating good emotions in others (where you are fun, ambitious, and positive). Everything you learn in Get the Friends You Want teaches you how to overcome shyness, be fun, and make conversation so you are more valuable than ever.
…you are rejected or accepted relative to the value you give or fail to give.
You are not shown superficial ways to make friends. From reading the book I learned that physical isolation is being alone while social isolation is being lonely. That is why you can feel lonely at work. Social and emotional connection makes loneliness disappear. You learn how to really connect with people without shallowness or manipulation taught in pick-up ebooks or most conversation courses.
That’s why I encourage you to download your copy of the book by clicking here.
Part 1: Overcoming Loneliness, Shyness, and Social Anxiety
It is a weird journey transforming your social life. Fortunately for you, Paul has been there. He was lonely until he transformed then put everything he knew about making amazing friends into the book. You are taken by the hand shown how to safely handle all the change you are about to encounter to create the social life you want.
Once you learn how handle beat loneliness and shyness you’re given step-by-step techniques like “how to use beliefs to unwire shyness from your brain”. Whenever you think of a harmful belief like “People don’t like me”, say it in the voice of a duck. The belief weakens. Say an empowering belief like “People who get to know me, love me” in a deep voice of someone you idolize. This strengthens the belief. Pretty cool trick. You get four “brain toys” that are fun ways to make you feel confident and social.
I loved the tip to handle a party invitation when you’re anxious: accept the invite, but say you can only stay 30 minutes for a reason. This encourages you to attend the party, makes you more comfortable, and allows you to leave if things get too much.
Part 2: Conversation and Social Skills
This part reveals how to master conversation and social skills. You learn how to find common ground, discover conversational hooks you want to talk about, and keep a conversation going. The two lessons about saying what’s on your mind and talking about yourself are powerful. Many other easy-to-use techniques exist so you forever keep a good conversation going.
There’s 6 rules of a cool person, ways to be funny, guidelines to talk with passion, and 44 socially awkward behaviors to avoid. I contacted Paul, the author, and he let me share some with you:
1. Being too different. Be unique, yes. But, if you act and look way too different, people won’t be able to relate to you.
2. Not making eye contact. It’s like you’re hiding something. You should make eye contact often.
3. Standing too close or too far. Too close means you don’t respect others’ physical space. Too far means you want to put a distance between you and the people you’re talking to.
4. Sharing too much personal information, too soon. That should be shared gradually as the friendship deepens.
44. Taking the victim role. Never victimize yourself to get attention. Leave that for the social skills amateurs. If you have a conflict, just say that you don’t get along with the person. Don’t flame them.
Part 3: Making Friends and Building a Social Circle
The final part teaches you how make friends and build a social circle. By the time you finish reading this third section, you will know exactly what to complete each week to meet new people. This section is jammed with practical ways to build a social circle.
I followed the easy advice of how to use Meetup.com and Facebook to meet nice people without wasting time online and already made new friends. That was good, but the tip I liked more is when you set plans with people you know little about, pick a place that:
- Allows you to talk
- Alleviates the pressure of conversation through music or some entertainment
This makes it easy to have good conversation even if you are bad at talking with strangers.
Is this book for you? It is if you are shy, lonely, or struggle to make conversation with people you don’t know. As you just saw, you’ll be a more confident and social person by the time you finished reading.
If you’re lucky and really smart, you probably could figure it out all on your own with about 15 years of testing and frustrations. You have no time for that though.
No other course teaches you what you learn in Get the Friends You Want. You get a complete system to build a social life. The book is unavailable in stores, but you can download it and be reading it within 5 minutes from now. I highly encourage you to order the book now by clicking here.
Joshua Uebergang aka "Tower of Power"
Joshua Uebergang, aka "Tower of Power", teaches social skills to help shy persons build friends and influence people. Visit his blog and sign-up free to get communication techniques, relationship-boosting strategies, and life-building tips by email, along with blog updates, and more! Go now to http://www.towerofpower.com.au/free/