Comments on: Principles and Tips to Deal with Difficult People http://www.towerofpower.com.au/principles-and-tips-to-deal-with-difficult-people Building Powerful People Fri, 03 Feb 2012 21:50:20 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Joshua Uebergang aka "Tower of Power" http://www.towerofpower.com.au/principles-and-tips-to-deal-with-difficult-people/comment-page-2#comment-10601 Joshua Uebergang aka "Tower of Power" Thu, 23 Jun 2011 16:17:25 +0000 http://www.towerofpower.com.au/?p=115#comment-10601 Vaguely referring to a person as "difficult" for 8 years doesn't make much lee way to solving whatever is going on. A lot of people don't understand being problem oriented, not person oriented. You can address the problem within the person without being person oriented. Person oriented: "You're so stubborn." versus "I would like you to do the dishes because I don't have the time." "The only need such extreme people have is ego pampering." Some do in some situations, but this is in RARE cases. Read point 10 over and over then the article again. Vaguely referring to a person as “difficult” for 8 years doesn’t make much lee way to solving whatever is going on.

A lot of people don’t understand being problem oriented, not person oriented. You can address the problem within the person without being person oriented. Person oriented: “You’re so stubborn.” versus “I would like you to do the dishes because I don’t have the time.”

“The only need such extreme people have is ego pampering.” Some do in some situations, but this is in RARE cases.

Read point 10 over and over then the article again.

]]> By: Prajwal http://www.towerofpower.com.au/principles-and-tips-to-deal-with-difficult-people/comment-page-2#comment-10600 Prajwal Thu, 23 Jun 2011 14:27:46 +0000 http://www.towerofpower.com.au/?p=115#comment-10600 Nice goody goody article. But difficult people do not go by normal laws and rules that govern the rest of us. Real difficult people are stubborn, with the my way or the highway attitude. They don't care less about what you think, they have their own self serving agenda. So all these tips to deal with such like make very little headway. You suggested "find the unmet need". The only need such extreme people have is ego pampering. You are looking for human like qualities underneath. There are no such qualities below.. just the need to be agreed to on every occasion. "Be problem oriented not person oriented" says one tip. The problems are created by the person himself. So what should one do ? I have just such a person I deal with for the last 8 years. I have opened my heart, cleared my mind and the rest of it. I have failed in every which way I could. So I know that these tips do not work for the extreme kinds. No amount of grace, tact, or any of the above really work. New tips anyone ? Nice goody goody article. But difficult people do not go by normal laws and rules that govern the rest of us. Real difficult people are stubborn, with the my way or the highway attitude. They don’t care less about what you think, they have their own self serving agenda. So all these tips to deal with such like make very little headway. You suggested “find the unmet need”. The only need such extreme people have is ego pampering. You are looking for human like qualities underneath. There are no such qualities below.. just the need to be agreed to on every occasion. “Be problem oriented not person oriented” says one tip. The problems are created by the person himself. So what should one do ? I have just such a person I deal with for the last 8 years. I have opened my heart, cleared my mind and the rest of it. I have failed in every which way I could. So I know that these tips do not work for the extreme kinds. No amount of grace, tact, or any of the above really work. New tips anyone ?

]]> By: Femi http://www.towerofpower.com.au/principles-and-tips-to-deal-with-difficult-people/comment-page-2#comment-4643 Femi Sun, 13 Jun 2010 11:42:02 +0000 http://www.towerofpower.com.au/?p=115#comment-4643 thanks for this article - my questions remains how to differentiate people from problem so that we can be problem-oriented rather than people-oriented because some people deliberately are problems for others! thanks for this article – my questions remains how to differentiate people from problem so that we can be problem-oriented rather than people-oriented because some people deliberately are problems for others!

]]> By: Review of Difficult Conversations by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen http://www.towerofpower.com.au/principles-and-tips-to-deal-with-difficult-people/comment-page-2#comment-3298 Review of Difficult Conversations by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen Tue, 13 Apr 2010 13:27:30 +0000 http://www.towerofpower.com.au/?p=115#comment-3298 [...] Overall, the language used is simple and easy to understand. You are shown conversations of what went wrong, what went right, and why this is so to help you talk about difficult issues and deal with difficult people. [...] [...] Overall, the language used is simple and easy to understand. You are shown conversations of what went wrong, what went right, and why this is so to help you talk about difficult issues and deal with difficult people. [...]

]]> By: Kelvin Moss http://www.towerofpower.com.au/principles-and-tips-to-deal-with-difficult-people/comment-page-2#comment-2430 Kelvin Moss Tue, 01 Sep 2009 10:58:44 +0000 http://www.towerofpower.com.au/?p=115#comment-2430 I think you are wrong. Difficult people are difficult people by definition. Whatever you do, they are still going to be difficult. I think you are wrong. Difficult people are difficult people by definition. Whatever you do, they are still going to be difficult.

]]> By: margaret http://www.towerofpower.com.au/principles-and-tips-to-deal-with-difficult-people/comment-page-2#comment-766 margaret Sat, 14 Mar 2009 20:19:14 +0000 http://www.towerofpower.com.au/?p=115#comment-766 Joshua your articles have continued to inspire me. I am a psychologist lecturer and i use the information i recieve from you to encourage my students and many others. You really have words of wisdom. May God bless you Joshua your articles have continued to inspire me. I am a psychologist lecturer and i use the information i recieve from you to encourage my students and many others. You really have words of wisdom. May God bless you

]]> By: Addo Cephas http://www.towerofpower.com.au/principles-and-tips-to-deal-with-difficult-people/comment-page-2#comment-760 Addo Cephas Fri, 06 Mar 2009 13:21:00 +0000 http://www.towerofpower.com.au/?p=115#comment-760 I really enjoy your piece and very happy to have you send it to me as this is the right time i needed it. thank you for doing me this great deal of help. continue doing this as i will always continue enjoying them. I really enjoy your piece and very happy to have you send it to me as this is the right time i needed it. thank you for doing me this great deal of help. continue doing this as i will always continue enjoying them.

]]> By: Ibrahim Abou El Khair http://www.towerofpower.com.au/principles-and-tips-to-deal-with-difficult-people/comment-page-2#comment-753 Ibrahim Abou El Khair Sun, 01 Mar 2009 10:20:14 +0000 http://www.towerofpower.com.au/?p=115#comment-753 Dear Josh Many thanks for the very interested topics...really it helps us so much in our business..in sales and market we are facing this problem in daily basis...so we deal with it daily....thanks Josh again Dear Josh
Many thanks for the very interested topics…really it helps us so much in our business..in sales and market we are facing this problem in daily basis…so we deal with it daily….thanks Josh again

]]> By: KHALID http://www.towerofpower.com.au/principles-and-tips-to-deal-with-difficult-people/comment-page-2#comment-752 KHALID Sun, 01 Mar 2009 00:48:53 +0000 http://www.towerofpower.com.au/?p=115#comment-752 I really enjoy everything you write Just keep going! I really enjoy everything you write
Just keep going!

]]> By: jackie http://www.towerofpower.com.au/principles-and-tips-to-deal-with-difficult-people/comment-page-2#comment-751 jackie Sat, 28 Feb 2009 20:06:16 +0000 http://www.towerofpower.com.au/?p=115#comment-751 These articles are incomparable. They provide answers that friends cannot provide. They are very resourceful. Bravo. These articles are incomparable. They provide answers that friends cannot provide. They are very resourceful. Bravo.

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