Inferiority Complex and the Self-Image
The Second Main Factor of Inferiority: Creative Imagination
All animals are preprogrammed with a set of functions for survival. I am amazed at the simple yet effective preprogramming given to birds. When the season changes, some birds fly thousands of miles straight to a destination they have never visited. Also, birds build nests without ever attending “Nest Building 101” or taking a course in materials engineering.
Like animals, we are preprogrammed with a set of functions that enable us to survive threats, gather food, and procreate. However, we have one huge difference to animals: we are goal-driven. Humans have the option to select goals while animals do not have this ability. Animals are preprogrammed from birth to live a certain life. They survive and procreate. Humans are different. We can create goals and set out to achieve them with our creative imagination.
I feel this to be the greatest part of all personal development. My creative imagination is something I get so excited about. It gives me the ability to literally become who I want to be. (You will learn later on that your creative imagination is the key to altering your self-image. It is a key determinant in whether you achieve a goal, such as overcoming your inferiority complex.)
The creative imagination is not so much about idea generation – though it is a wonderful technique to generate ideas. Your creative imagination gives you the ability to dream goals and visualize them so vividly that your nervous system cannot tell if the visualizations is fake or reality. You can make your entire body think that intense visualization from your creative imagination is realism.
Unfortunately, for many people they waste their creative imagination. It is as if they have a billion-dollar check in their wallet and they do not cash it in at the bank. In fact, it is more like they have a billion-dollar golden nugget they do not convert to cash so they are burdened with the impossibility of getting through life by carrying it around. They let this great opportunity go to complete waste. Unless you awaken this inner giant, it will lie asleep, dormant, and do nothing productive. It is your inner giant that can create great happiness, success, and relationships – if you know how to use it.
The first common way your creative imagination is wasted is through aimless daydreaming and fantasizing. This lets it go to complete waste. Your mind aimlessly wanders off into a fantasy that cannot be created or which you have no desire to experience.
The second common way your creative imagination is wasted is using it to create bad events in your life. This is where the inferiority complex is derived. People unknowingly use their creative imagination to create their inferiority complex. They create scenarios and thoughts of inferiority from their imagination. They imagine rejection, failure, criticism, shame, hatred, scarcity, and loneliness; instead of acceptance, lessons, love, abundance, and togetherness. A huge difference exists here in the parallels of thinking.
The images you evoke of failure, unworthiness, and shame wastefully use your creative imagination to bring further bad events into your life. If you experience fear, anxiety, or worry about what other people think of you, then you make this common mistake and waste your creative imagination.
Let’s take a look at three common examples of the inferiority complex where the creative imagination is wasted: napoleon complex, cultural cringe, and superiority complex.
Napoleon Complex
A part of Alfred Alder’s work of the inferiority complex developed the Napoleon complex, which is a specific feeling of inferiority about one’s height. Alder named the Napoleon complex after the great military leader Napoleon Bonaparte who was said to be motivated in battle from insecurities about his height.
People with a Napoleon complex make up for their “inferiority” through aggressive behaviors. They feel handicapped because of their smaller stature and attempt to counter this perceived problem through aggressive behavior and a superficial layer of toughness. A smaller stature is not necessarily a true handicap as it just a perceived handicap where the individual uses one’s creative imagination to feel inferior.
Diagnosing this type of inferiority lies in identifying overcompensating behaviors from a perceived inferiority. You would have the Napoleon complex and demonstrate overcompensating behavior when you aim to put-down others who are taller than you. You would have that little extra desire to do better than those who are taller than you. You would try to make taller people look bad. The worst possible symptom of this feeling of inferiority is physically hurting taller people because of their stature. This specific Napoleon complex is derived from one’s personal feeling of inferiority and fear that taller people are better than shorter persons.
I received the below email in response to an earlier version of this article from a lady who lost her son to the Napoleon complex. The email is unchanged and used with her permission:
I am married to a wonderful man and I am a mother of three beautiful teenage children. Last October 31st, 2008, my 17 year old son committed suicide. It has been the most devastating experience of my entire life. I would like to stress first of all, that our home life was not what you would consider tumultuous. We had and still have a very loving home life. I would like to share with you my son’s story:
Jacob’s childhood was truly an awesome experience for a typical boy. He played hard and got dirty. He and Joel (our eldest son) with help from their father would pitch tents, dig tunnels, and build forts. As Jacob grew up, it became abundantly clear that he was very concerned over his spiritual affairs. I had the opportunity to teach him in Sunday-School classes and later on in his teens I would assist in teaching Confirmation classes. He was keenly aware of the many blessings we enjoyed being a Child of God. He wanted to understand the works of our Heavenly Father. When we would pray together as a family, he was very earnest and sincere for such a young man.
When Jacob turned 13, things started to change in him. He was unusually short for his age and it bothered him tremendously. I had initially thought that the “teenage idiot gene” had kicked in because he had become very short tempered, easily agitated, and extremely defensive. Because of his stature, Jacob had developed an inferiority complex. Because he was now attending middle school, I noticed he had also developed a chip on his shoulder and would easily get in anyone’s face if they picked on him. His coping methods made me uncomfortable and we constantly tried to coach him and teach him to accept himself for the talents he had. At one point, one person asked Jacob what was he worried about…many great men in history were short. He very quickly responded with the comment, “Yeah…that is because they all had to prove themselves.” In spite of his quick wit, Jacob dealt with the day to day stress of school by becoming a ghost. He rarely spoke to many kids and kept to himself most of the day.
Jacob went into the ninth grade at High School with the same issues that he had in middle school. He was embarrassed at how short he was and the chip on his shoulder seemed to get bigger. Fist fights between Jacob and his brother seemed to be increasing in frequency too. The hardest part about those sibling fights was the fact that even though Jacob was considerably smaller than Joel, he would go into the fight with absolutely no fear of getting hurt. Ninth grade was very hard for us as parents to stand by and watch our son mentally mutilate his self-esteem. No matter how hard we tried to turn that tide, he would never allow himself to be consoled.
Eventually, Jacob did become taller. By the 11th grade he had filled out into a very good looking young man. He was extremely comical and made many people laugh. However, he never truly learned to like himself. He had a hard time talking to people unless he was using humor as his shield.
Ultimately, his low self-image got the better of him and he ended his life. He was
more afraid of living than he was of dying.
I cried when I read the email. Inferiority is a real emotional problem. An inferiority complex is not corrected by the physical defect. People return to plastic surgery – not to remove physical defects – but because they have emotional defects.
Cultural Cringe
The cultural cringe is an area of the inferiority complex where people feel inferior due to their culture. Genetic appearance, pronunciation of words, or other factors of the human body that vary between cultures make the individual feel less than people in other cultures.
A few days ago I came across a lady who was experiencing the cultural cringe about her physical appearance. She had a poor self-image as she complained about the unusual features of her body. She loved how people in Asian cultures looked. “If only I could look like an Asian lady” she thought to herself. Her idea that other cultures are better than hers made her feel inferior.
Feelings of inferiority damage your communication with yourself and others. The cultural cringe makes you hate certain people, cultures, situations, and events. Your subconscious will be so poisoned with imaginary beliefs that are powerful enough to destroy your happiness and relationships.
Superiority Complex?
The superiority complex is a feeling of superiority over other people. Let’s return to the scenario where Sally is in a room full of successful executives. If Sally had a superiority complex or attempted to feel superior, she would criticize the executives to pull down their status to make herself feel better. Another form of the superiority complex is demonstrated when Sally could try to lift her status by portraying how better she is than the executives. Both of these techniques that attempt to lift her status relative to the executives fail to overcome her inferiority complex.
I frequently thought feelings of superiority were the secret to overcome feelings of inferiority – and still, ashamedly, catch myself trying to feel superior. (You will never completely remove thoughts of inferiority because it is human nature to think the occasional disempowering thought. You do not need to feel inferior, however. The difference is whether you let the occasional harmful thoughts and feelings grow.) After years of frustration, I can tell you feelings of superiority cause you more pain than what it removes.
People attempt – yet fail – to overcome feelings of inferiority by becoming superior. They try to feel bigger, faster, smarter, wiser than their peers. This only leads to frustration and inferiority. This solution is a temporary patch on a wound too big. It takes most people an experience of significant superiority, such as achieving a desired goal in an area they felt inferior over like earning a million dollars or being popular with the opposite sex, to realize they still feel inferior.
If you try to feel superior, you still compare yourself to the false measurement stick that judged the inferior you. External validation will be forever required to prove your superior self-image. If you are put out of place through ignorance or you are made to feel less superior, you will attempt to grab back your non-existent podium of superiority by criticizing others and using similar behaviors to lift you status.
If a person’s need to compete against another drives from the person’s insecurity to feel superior, does a superiority complex exist? I think it does exist, but an inferiority complex can be used to explain someone with a superiority complex.
What is Your Perception of People You Aspire To?
Most people are superior to you in what they do in some way, but they are not superior in who they are. There is no question people are better looking, more popular, and wealthier than you. The problem is the transition from doing to being. Some sufferers of the inferiority complex overcompensate for these differences.
Referring back to the Napoleon complex, the Napoleon complex is a general term used outside of physical height to describe an individual overcompensating for a perceived handicap. Most of us tend to be controlling or aggressive beyond the many possibilities of height. All of us have our own – often strange reasons – for feeling inferior that we dare not share with anyone.
A common example of overcompensating behavior is when an attractive lady feels insulted purely because of another woman’s looks. Women are very competitive in dating and can feel inferior to a more attractive lady so they criticize, tease, and display other insecure behaviors. A shallow woman tries to raise her self-esteem by being better than other women.
It disgusts me to hear both men and women pull another person down. I too often see unsuccessful, unhappy people criticize a successful, happy person. These critics are no better or inferior than the people they criticize.
What is your attitude towards people who are better than you in certain areas of your life? How do you feel towards people who are more attractive than you? How do you feel towards people who are your superiors at work? Do you feel inferior? Do you feel they are better than you? Do you need to pull them down from their podium by criticizing? Are you inspired, excited, and thrilled to see others succeed?
Take your time to think and relive relevant experiences because your answers will hold important understandings of your inferiority complex.
You are You
A secret to overcoming the inferiority complex is accepting who you are as a person. When you accept your uniqueness, you no longer compare yourself to mystical standards. About 90% of people have the inferiority complex so our perceived standard is a joke! You are not inferior or superior to anyone – nor is anyone inferior or superior to you. We are ourselves. You are you. Sally is Sally. It is healthy to remain different and not comply to standards, which 90% of the population do not fit in.
I’m sure you have heard people say, “Just be yourself”. I think that is awful advice. If you continue to be yourself, you will continue to have poor habits, thoughts, feelings, and results.
Being yourself is completely different than accepting your uniqueness. A guy that knows he is unique can grow as a person and “not be himself”. He accepts his uniqueness and still becomes more than he was yesterday. He becomes his best self. No matter what he does, he will always be unique. When he accepts his uniqueness, he does not compare himself to other people.
Next time you feel inferior, I want you to challenge those thoughts by investigating why you feel inferior. You will realize your comparison is based on a mystical benchmark. The people you measure yourself against are not the true measurement stick. They are not you. You are your true measurement. You must compare yourself with the person you were instead of contrasting yourself with other people. Neuro-linguistic programming calls this technique a self-to-self comparison.
If you are shy in conversations, do not compare yourself to the extrovert, blabbermouth, social butterfly. Compare your present shyness to your shyness one month ago. Derive satisfaction from knowing that you’re becoming a better person. No one will have the same experience in situations, people, events, thoughts, and feelings. There are so many variables that make you unique – your family, friends, co-workers, upbringing – the list goes on. It is foolish to compare yourself to others.
Though it is easy to juxtapose yourself against someone that has an end result you desire, you must avoid such comparisons. You can enjoy the journey of personal development without arriving at your destination by seeing your progression in bettering yourself. By doing so, you can accept your uniqueness and enjoy your journey of personal growth. (I suggest you read Anthony Robbins’ Awaken the Giant Within to learn more about enjoying your journey. Robbins teaches you how to adjust your values so you become happier and self-motivated on your journey, instead of relying on an end result to be happy.)
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Update: What Christmas present did you get for yourself? You can tell me ;-) None for me this year.
EXCELLENT!! You are a very smart guy indeed. I’m going into psychology at Carroll College and found that everything made a lot of sense, and it felt very profound because I have been becoming more aware of my own, and dealing with a friends inferiority complex.
This is a detailed and excellent explanation of the feelings of inferiority.
If i receive criticism from someone i respect and admire i do not take it as harsh. i regard it as valuable information.
If someone i do not know, like nor respect criticizes me i may react emotionally. then i step back and review it and see if there is any value in it. if not i disregard it. you do need to look at who gave you the criticism and their intent. that way you can put it in perspective.
The challenge is when you are criticizing yourself. those are thoughts that you have to work with in an objective way. when those thoughts pop up you need to challenge them and examine them carefully.
Today in the morning i was feeling very disheartened because i have to attend a coaching class where u will find some of the smartest people. i was dreading about it because when i enter the class i feel so inferior that i fail to do well.granted i don’t put in effort but every time i try i get this feeling why bother.
Your article has given me a bit of inspiration to put aside that complex which even prevents me from putting effort. This stupid complex makes me sulk everyday and i loose my confidence. i know where to start now. Thanx a lot for this article.
This is one of the best inspirational and motivational things i have read.
I went through an up hill in my past life and when i reached the peak ,i felt as if the world was in the palm of my hands and i was ready to roll down the hill with full speed,irregardless of the criticism and insults thrown at me,till i crashed and landed on the ground and i thought it was the end of everything, forgetting were i was and who i was.
with your help, i am at work with a smile on my face feeling like the world is in the palm of my hands and every time i feel down i will remember these words …”i think therefore i am” by Renee Descarte…
thank you for taking your time and thoughts to write this down …i will forward it to my people.
thanks a lot homeboy…holla back Josh
hello Joshua sir. this is Rathi. i am an engg student. my college days are my worst days. i don’t speak with anyone in the college. daily i go to college ,leave the classroom and sit in the canteen viewing the empty chairs and tables and crying within myself that i don’t have the capacity to win friends and i don’t have enough stuff to attract people. i call myself a goose.this is my condition for the past 7 years and i did not even see a single change in me… tomorrow i am going to apply the concept of creative imagination… all my pains are going to vanish………thanks Joshua sir for bringing back my confidence!
Dear joshua,thank u so much for the article,its priceless.
I am from nigeria,here inferiority complex is not taken seriously,they think it just has to do with shyness.
Due to this complex,i nearly killed myself because i felt i couldn’t do anything right.it became worst because i aspired to study mass communication,at a point i thought of changing my course to something where less talking is done.i hardly leave my home,and when i did its either my dad forced me to.
But after reading your article,i think i have become more confident in myself.and i will read mass communication after all.Thank you.
thank you for the inspiring and life-changing article about inferiority complex..now i can be who i am and perhaps love myself..i’ve been battling this inferiority ever since childhood due to a bad experience and im not aware that i have this inferiority complex within me until i read your article..i’ve been a loner and my friends often call me a weird person..now i realized that i don’t need to compare myself from others coz i am unique..and i hope that criticisms would give me an avenue to grow more as a person and deal with them constructively..now i feel confident..a million thanks!!!
Joshua,
You are good, seriously. I can say that you are reading me like a book. I feel very satisfied on your solution to inferiority complex, and definitely this is quite a wonderful read. This time might mark the time I change for the better. I better memorize the date. Anyway, so many thanks man.
I’m relieved to see an essay that doesn’t harp on finding the “Lord” or use feel good psycho babble like, “just tell yourself you’re awesome!” You’ve outlined the exact mental phases and analysis that I go through. For me though, the weird thing is I did not have an inferiority complex until I lived in Manhattan where everyone appears to be “better” than me. I’ve just read this essay so I don’t know if I’ll be able to successfully utilize the advice in it, but I hope so. Thanks!
Each time I read your articles I am amazed at how true it is.Your insight is truly inspiring and I will make sure that the ppl around me get this because holding back knowledge like this would just not be right.Thanks a lot and be sure that this one comes from the heart.Mwah!