Comments on: How to Not Care What People Are Thinking About You – and Release Your People-Magnetic Self Into the Conversation

By: Indra

Indra — Mon, 12 Sep 2011 09:13:30 +0000

Hi Joshua,

I’ve just discovered your website, I have also just discovered that I have a low self esteem and inferiority complex.

I must say that i am changing, I have found a mentor who has been helping me realise all this.

in addition to that, stumbling upon your website is also helping me greatly.

Am really enjoying and appreciating the contents of your website.

Thanks a lot.

By: kim

kim — Mon, 27 Jun 2011 21:06:49 +0000

This article changed my life. Seriously. Thank you!

By: Joshua Uebergang aka "Tower of Power"

Joshua Uebergang aka "Tower of Power" — Sat, 28 May 2011 13:25:07 +0000

I liked your first comments about evolutionary psychology Todd. Comparing anxiety to food is similar because we train ourselves to behave a certain way or consume certain food. And it’s helpful to not give up responsibility because “it’s all in my genes.”

I used anxiety and fear interchangeably in this article and could of clarified that. Fear as a protection mechanism is the most fundamental to evolutionary psychology.

Where did I say everyone wants to be a world class communicator and socialite? That statement certainly isn’t the case like you said.

Your comment is up and untouched like everyone. People have found the article helpful. So yes, there are people who comment on the internet that don’t swear. People who read this website are friendlier than most and aren’t like the trolls spamming hate and swearing seen on YouTube. Don’t like it? That’s okay.

By: todd

todd — Sat, 28 May 2011 08:47:11 +0000

As far as the whole “you feel anxious because it was good for your ancestors” thing, i think I’m going to go ahead and say citation needed. Even though there is a significant amount of evidence showing that genes have some influence on human psychology, that doesn’t mean every person who wants to support an argument is justified in creating their own evolutionary scenarios where all the traits that seem universal to the speaker conveniently have a simple direct do-this-or-die relationship. For example, one might argue that people are hard wired to crave salt, fat, and sugar, since these are essential to staying alive, and even more so in a tribal setting, where food is scarce. this makes sense, it appeals to our logical side, and lets us feel good, because we were able to reason that out all on our own, and it gives us a simple scapegoat on why Americans are fat. However, if you were to find a random sampling of americans, overweight or not, i would bet that a fair number are deficient in some important vitamins, which may limit life span or the ability to function optimally. If evolution worked in the way armchair evolutionary psychologists proposed, we would all be craving animal liver and spinach as much as fat and sugar. the problem is that nature is much more complicated then we’d like it to be, and since no one has the data on the complete unabridged history of every organism that ever made a significant impact on human biology, we may never know the reasons for universal human traits, or if they are universal at all; but I’m rambling.

Also, I’m going to be honest and say that i totally lost interest in this article after it said that everyone had a natural, innate ability to be a world class communicator and socialite, and that being so is the natural way to be, since this is clearly an over-generalization. Sure, if you coach someone hard enough and long enough, they’ll learn to say the right thing at the right time, but that’s not necessarily everyone’s natural state, and i might wager that its not the natural state of most people. Not everyone wants to be the center of attention/life of the party/ man in charge. Also, that segues into my next point:

the name and implied intent of your blog totally creeps me out, since what you seem to be saying is “I’ve learned how to mold my social interactions in such a way that people feel compelled to give me what i want, and so can you!” Its just creepy because i hate being manipulated, especially when i don’t know it.

Finally, i’m going to assume that this post will not see the light of day, or at least will be promptly deleted as soon as you realize that i’m criticizing you, since all the other comments to this article are surprisingly swear free compared to normal internet fare, and all seem to imply something along the lines of: “this article has solved every problem in my life and the man who wrote it is magic,” along with the fact that this website seems to exist only to drum up business for one of those motivational speaker sermons. i came here via stumble, and i assure you that this will be down voted due to the fact that the author seems crazy, greedy, or dumb, or some combination of the three.

Anyway, good luck swindling people and businesses out of their money by giving a pointless lecture and making people hug for a half hour.

By: 6 Steps to Gain Self-Confidence and Destroy Limitations : Motivate 2 Elevate

6 Steps to Gain Self-Confidence and Destroy Limitations : Motivate 2 Elevate — Fri, 07 Jan 2011 15:56:24 +0000

[...] how to not care what people think from the “Tower of Power”. You can also get extra tips to build [...]

By: LovedArticle

LovedArticle — Sun, 09 May 2010 16:54:56 +0000

There’s one way to really change.

Whenever you don’t do something, ask yourself – am I NOT doing this because of other people and what they think? If that’s why you’re NOT doing it. Then DO it.

Apply this to:
- What you wear
- How you smile
- Dancing/singing in public
- Taking up ‘middle’ train seats
- everything.

Keep up the behaviour that results from using that test.

By: Vinod

Vinod — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 18:03:08 +0000

Thanks a lot Joshua for sharing your thoughts through this excellent article. It was really helpful to take some steps to regain my confidence. This article should be preached as “lessons” in schools so that we don’t waste our valuable years struggling to find solutions to such problems.

By: Stella

Stella — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 16:54:59 +0000

This article is great! it teaches a lot of people a really good message. I had agoraphobia for two years in social situations, but have managed to overcome it by just being.. All the stuff written here is absolutely true. Although i took some time absorbing other peoples behaviour and making them my own, so that i can see how other people handle themselves so well. it taught me that people spoke their minds. Since i’ve been just myself, peoples reactions to the new outspoken me haven’t been so positive, but i made more friends than i’ve ever had in two years, i stopped caring about what people think, and i don’t need their approval or acceptance, because i am me, myself and I, and if im going to have to be in this body for another couple of years, then i should just accept it and move on. since then ive been much more confident and more people have accepted me. Even my mother that never talked to me, have started liking me again. But i don’t care if she stops again, it just feels great not to care about other peoples thoughts.

By: Inferiority Complex and the Self-Image » ToP

Inferiority Complex and the Self-Image » ToP — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 06:21:37 +0000

[...] How to Not Care What People Are Thinking About You – and Release Your People-Magnetic Self Int… [...]

By: Review of Double Your Dating by David DeAngelo » ToP

Review of Double Your Dating by David DeAngelo » ToP — Tue, 12 May 2009 07:00:25 +0000

[...] prevents both men and women from dating success. A lot of people develop their fears from thinking too much. The action exercises act like little steps to get guys where they want to be in the dating world. [...]